Husband cursed at me several times in front of kids tonight
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Anonymous
If you don’t have kids you cannot imagine how you would feel or react if someone put your child, whole you likely love more than life itself, at serious risk of harm. |
Anonymous
Why are you making excuses for the guy? I have kids. People make mistakes. That’s not how normal people handle it. And by the way, the kid was not at serious risk of harm, as described by OP. |
Anonymous
| Sure but right in front of kids? Not PP, but yikes. That's bad. |
Anonymous
No. He doesn't swear and raise his voice as often as seems to do OP's husband... BUT he refuses to treat his ADHD and has thus dropped the ball on some pretty major life-altering things, and that's actually more impactful, sadly. If it was just occasional anger, I could handle it fine. With the executive function issues from ADHD, it's hard. He forgets to file important stuff for work and home regularly, has lost jobs, forgotten to sign us up for health insurance, wastes money by accumulating late fees, doesn't lift a finger in the house because he doesn't know how to pick something up and chose a place for it, drives erratically, is habitually tardy to everything, etc. Usually arguments start when I find out that he's messed up once again, and he becomes defensive about it. I have asked to do the work for him, but at this point, I can't take away more stuff. Reasons for not divorcing are that he would not be a good father and role model to our young children during his custody share because I wouldn't be there to smooth things out (and he would definitely insist on half the time), that we are of one mind financially/investment-wise, in parenting and everything else aside from his occasional fits of crazy, and that I really don't want to start again on my own. He is also brilliant and knowledgeable, and does have a positive influence on the children and I intellectually. We are never bored with him. |
Anonymous
duh should consider getting off his ass and helping with the kids. You went to the bathroom to sob? Are you a doormat? I hope not. You need to tell DH that he has to get up and help with the young kids, headache or not. I’d tell him right back that the kids are going to die because of HIM. What an irresponsible petty azzhole. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
People don’t install special locks to protect a kid against himself if there is t a serious risk. I am not saying that OPs husband’s behavior was acceptable. What I am saying is that as a parent if you think someone put your child at risk of serious harm, sometimes you say things you never would have otherwise and that you later regret. It’s a situation that you move on from. |
Anonymous
Excuses. She said he blows up regularly and curses in arguments every few months. That’s an anger problem not an exception. Sounds like you’ve done and said some things you’re not proud of. That’s your cross to bear. Don’t give OP bad advice. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you messed up, he pointed it out in spades, and now you look to the internet to find anonymous posters to say he's a jerk. Now start watching the kids better. |
Anonymous
+1 And technically he didn't curse at you. |
Anonymous
| Your husband yelling at you and your son hitting you. This isnt ok. |
Anonymous
This makes me sad. They are learning about relationships and how men should treat women. I had a dad who also didn't treat my mom with respect. I'm not saying divorce is the answer, but OP--for their sakes--the status quo is not good for your children. Good luck to you. |
Anonymous
| Not excusing his language, but he has the right to be upset that you didn't lock the door knowing you have a child who wanders off. It's a really scary situation to have a child elope, that can end up with him being seriously injured, among other things. |
Anonymous
This is alarming. It means occurrences happen frequently enough or with so much trauma/deflecting that you have to remember. This was what I used to do when I was in a severely dysfunctional relationship with my ex. Your taking notes also implies that in follow up behavior your husband isn’t accountable or denies his behavior. Red flag. |
Anonymous
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He was right. I've yelled at SOs for letting the dog out of the house and 'in the street'.
It was your 1-year-old and don't disappear into the bathroom and cry. Defend your actions. |