Friend cried over me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As she said my self worth is so low it breaks her heart.
My DW cheated, says she no longer loves me and doesn't miss me. She is also still seeing the
guy she cheated with for sex.
I feel as crazy as it sounds that if we get through this, we will be incredibly strong as a couple. I know I made mistakes during our marriage but I truly believe that with therapy we can make things work.
Is this too much to hope for? Is my friend a bit OTT for crying?

Your marriage is in the shitter and your primary concern is whether or not your friend is being over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. I am going to try my hardest to make this marriage work but I agree, she needs to stop seeing her AP. She is continuing to which is making things difficult.
I do think that once we have therapy she will realise what we had and want to make a go of things again.

OP! I am so sorry that you are going through this. If your wife wanted to work things out, she would have already stop seeing her AP. She is not making things difficult, she is showing you that doesn't care about your feelings (right now). At this moment, I think that your marriage is over. However, go ahead and do all that you can, because when YOU leave, you will KNON that you did all that you could to save the marriage.

OP, by any chance did you cheat on her prior? I am having a hard time understanding why you are accepting this treatment.

[Anonymous]

I have never cheated on her. She is my absolute world

[Anonymous]

OP, you are in denial and being absolutely a doormat. You need to kick her out and only agree to therapy when she stops seeing AP. She needs to learn to respect you. Right now she’s got her cake and is going to eat it too.

[Anonymous]

You didn't make her cheat. You changing won't make her not cheat. If you are okay being married to a woman who has a boyfriend and there being 3 people in your marriage then keep going. That is what you are currently working on. If that is what you want, then let her know you don't need her commitment, you are fine with a polyamorous relationship. Since you are ignoring the fact she has a boyfriend, that seems like your best option.

[Anonymous]

I do think I led her to cheat as I wasn't giving her what she needed.
Therapy will be make or break but she hasn't ruled out us being together and I know once she works on her past I will understand why she did what she did. Her father abandoned her when she was a kid and her mother was cold. She also had an abortion in her early twenties. It's no wonder that she is confused. Whatever happens, I will always love her and will always be there for her. Loser that may make me but I still love her so deeply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think I led her to cheat as I wasn't giving her what she needed.
Therapy will be make or break but she hasn't ruled out us being together and I know once she works on her past I will understand why she did what she did. Her father abandoned her when she was a kid and her mother was cold. She also had an abortion in her early twenties. It's no wonder that she is confused. Whatever happens, I will always love her and will always be there for her. Loser that may make me but I still love her so deeply.

could you elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never cheated on her. She is my absolute world

Ironically, your willingness to accept crumbs from her, and to respond to her horrible behavior with adoration and worship, is going to repel her away, not draw her closer. At least, it would most people. She’d probably be more likely to turn things around if you demanded better for yourself and she truly feared she was going to lose you. But she knows she could literally stab you in the heart and you would be telling her she’s “your world”, and it wouldn’t matter.

I’m

[Anonymous]

Dude. No. You need to get angry at your cheating wife. Cheaters always want the faithful spouse to take the blame. If I'm "not getting something" from my relationship then I talk to my husband, not jump on another dude's D.

Read chumplady then learn to do the 180.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She still says she isn't ruling it out so there is still hope.
She admitted to kissing a man before and said it could have gone further but didn't. This is her first affair and she has been seeing him for 8 months now. Yet she herself says it isn't serious with him.
We went to a mutual friends party the other week with the kids and it was upsetting. We were laughing and joking with each other and the others at the party but it felt like it wasn't her.
We have a lot of reconnecting to do but I still believe this situation could turn around for the better.

1. your writing doesn't even sound like a man's writing
2. you make no logical sense and keep bringing up ridiculous points that is intended to incite the readers
3. if you want to troll, make it a little more believable and less annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She still says she isn't ruling it out so there is still hope.
She admitted to kissing a man before and said it could have gone further but didn't. This is her first affair and she has been seeing him for 8 months now. Yet she herself says it isn't serious with him.
We went to a mutual friends party the other week with the kids and it was upsetting. We were laughing and joking with each other and the others at the party but it felt like it wasn't her.
We have a lot of reconnecting to do but I still believe this situation could turn around for the better.

1. your writing doesn't even sound like a man's writing
2. you make no logical sense and keep bringing up ridiculous points that is intended to incite the readers
3. if you want to troll, make it a little more believable and less annoying

I think OP is a woman, pretending to be a man. There was a thread a while back where a female OP absolutely refused to disclose gender until pages and pages in; her DH was cheating and treating her like dirt on his shoe. He refused to stop seeing the OW and the OP was similarly refusing to hold him accountable. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were the same OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As she said my self worth is so low it breaks her heart.
My DW cheated, says she no longer loves me and doesn't miss me. She is also still seeing the
guy she cheated with for sex.
I feel as crazy as it sounds that if we get through this, we will be incredibly strong as a couple. I know I made mistakes during our marriage but I truly believe that with therapy we can make things work.
Is this too much to hope for? Is my friend a bit OTT for crying?

Your marriage is in the shitter and your primary concern is whether or not your friend is being over the top.

What do you want people to say?

I think this is some kind of performance art.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She still says she isn't ruling it out so there is still hope.
She admitted to kissing a man before and said it could have gone further but didn't. This is her first affair and she has been seeing him for 8 months now. Yet she herself says it isn't serious with him.
We went to a mutual friends party the other week with the kids and it was upsetting. We were laughing and joking with each other and the others at the party but it felt like it wasn't her.
We have a lot of reconnecting to do but I still believe this situation could turn around for the better.

1. your writing doesn't even sound like a man's writing
2. you make no logical sense and keep bringing up ridiculous points that is intended to incite the readers
3. if you want to troll, make it a little more believable and less annoying

+100
I completely agree. This is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She still says she isn't ruling it out so there is still hope.
She admitted to kissing a man before and said it could have gone further but didn't. This is her first affair and she has been seeing him for 8 months now. Yet she herself says it isn't serious with him.
We went to a mutual friends party the other week with the kids and it was upsetting. We were laughing and joking with each other and the others at the party but it felt like it wasn't her.
We have a lot of reconnecting to do but I still believe this situation could turn around for the better.

1. your writing doesn't even sound like a man's writing
2. you make no logical sense and keep bringing up ridiculous points that is intended to incite the readers
3. if you want to troll, make it a little more believable and less annoying

I think OP is a woman, pretending to be a man. There was a thread a while back where a female OP absolutely refused to disclose gender until pages and pages in; her DH was cheating and treating her like dirt on his shoe. He refused to stop seeing the OW and the OP was similarly refusing to hold him accountable. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were the same OP.

Previous poster, the other OP you are referring to is me, and yes, I am a woman. I personally believe that this OP is a troll "playing" a male variation on several similar women's threads that have appeared in this vein lately. If it is a troll post, perhaps he or she is hoping that a man in this pathetic and sad situation would receive different advice or little sympathy, as compared to a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP sounds like a major loser. I wouldn't cry over you -- I'd slap you like Don Corleone in Godfather. ACT LIKE A MAN.

+1000.

OP, Dude grow a damn pair and dump that skank you call a wife. Your nonchalant reaction to her continuing to bang her AP, and her
subsequent indifference to you is astounding

I am not sure what to make of your friend except that she clearly cares more for you than you do yourself.