Dating: I want to be friends first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if someone told me they prefer to take thing slow I'd get what they meant. if they said I want to be friends first I'd assume they weren't looking to date ME period (and move on)

They would also know you're only looking for one thing. Anything of quality would move on.

Nah. It's a way of telling someone you're not attracted to them.

Ding, ding, ding. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Like PP above I suspect this is someone under 25 because no one I know over 25 would have trouble understanding this

[Anonymous]

I don’t need any more friends in my life. If I meet you online and you tell me you want to be friends first, I move right along. The purpose is to date - if you want friends, join a Meetup group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can only assume you are young. The whole point of dating (for grown ups) is to explore the potential for a more meaningful relationship. You can decide how fast or slow things progress both physically and emotionally. You only complicate things buy trying to label things. Just be CLEAR about what you want (or don't) and then that person can decide if they are ok with that.

OP, here. No, I am not young. Yes, I am very clear, my friendships are just that, friendships. I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments toward me. I am not paying for my dinner and then you decide that you want to take the friendship to the next level that night and put your arm around me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t need any more friends in my life. If I meet you online and you tell me you want to be friends first, I move right along. The purpose is to date - if you want friends, join a Meetup group.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can only assume you are young. The whole point of dating (for grown ups) is to explore the potential for a more meaningful relationship. You can decide how fast or slow things progress both physically and emotionally. You only complicate things buy trying to label things. Just be CLEAR about what you want (or don't) and then that person can decide if they are ok with that.

OP, here. No, I am not young. Yes, I am very clear, my friendships are just that, friendships. I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments toward me. I am not paying for my dinner and then you decide that you want to take the friendship to the next level that night and put your arm around me.

Troll confirmed people. And based on your choice of words I'm guessing a foreign troll at that... we don't say "I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments towards me". You sound like Borat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can only assume you are young. The whole point of dating (for grown ups) is to explore the potential for a more meaningful relationship. You can decide how fast or slow things progress both physically and emotionally. You only complicate things buy trying to label things. Just be CLEAR about what you want (or don't) and then that person can decide if they are ok with that.

OP, here. No, I am not young. Yes, I am very clear, my friendships are just that, friendships. I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments toward me. I am not paying for my dinner and then you decide that you want to take the friendship to the next level that night and put your arm around me.

Troll confirmed people. And based on your choice of words I'm guessing a foreign troll at that... we don't say "I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments towards me". You sound like Borat.

No, now move along to another thrwad.

[Anonymous]

Friends first from a woman: I don't find you physically appealing.

Friends first from a man: I want to hook up without commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends first from a woman: I don't find you physically appealing.

Friends first from a man: I want to hook up without commitment.

This. All attempts by OP/others to make into it something else is just self delusion.

[Anonymous]

I think they usually mean FWB aka sex with no commitment.

If they really mean platonic, then they're just not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can only assume you are young. The whole point of dating (for grown ups) is to explore the potential for a more meaningful relationship. You can decide how fast or slow things progress both physically and emotionally. You only complicate things buy trying to label things. Just be CLEAR about what you want (or don't) and then that person can decide if they are ok with that.

OP, here. No, I am not young. Yes, I am very clear, my friendships are just that, friendships. I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments toward me. I am not paying for my dinner and then you decide that you want to take the friendship to the next level that night and put your arm around me.

OP, it sounds like you’re “friends” with a guy who says he wants to be friends first but is making sexual advances. Is that correct?

If so, he isn’t interested in a relationship but wants to hook up. Saying he wants to be friends absolves him of any of the dating “responsibility” but still lets him try to get you into bed.

Stop wasting your time with him. Or better yet, next time you go out, flirt shamelessly with the hottest guy there, because hey, you’re just friends, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can only assume you are young. The whole point of dating (for grown ups) is to explore the potential for a more meaningful relationship. You can decide how fast or slow things progress both physically and emotionally. You only complicate things buy trying to label things. Just be CLEAR about what you want (or don't) and then that person can decide if they are ok with that.

OP, here. No, I am not young. Yes, I am very clear, my friendships are just that, friendships. I do not want to go with you and you are making sexual comments toward me. I am not paying for my dinner and then you decide that you want to take the friendship to the next level that night and put your arm around me.

OP, it sounds like you’re “friends” with a guy who says he wants to be friends first but is making sexual advances. Is that correct?

If so, he isn’t interested in a relationship but wants to hook up. Saying he wants to be friends absolves him of any of the dating “responsibility” but still lets him try to get you into bed.

Stop wasting your time with him. Or better yet, next time you go out, flirt shamelessly with the hottest guy there, because hey, you’re just friends, right?

OP, here. No, i am not in a relationship like this.

[Anonymous]

OP, you won’t find success on a dating website, because people aren’t looking for friends; they’re looking to date. Potential dates should understand taking it slow, etc. if you are clear in your profile (though they still might try to get physical) but being friends first - no.

If you join a meetup group (particularly one around your interests) which is for meeting new people and making new friends, you’ll likely have better luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friends first from a woman: I don't find you physically appealing.

Friends first from a man: I want to hook up without commitment.

This. All attempts by OP/others to make into it something else is just self delusion.

"Friends first" to everyone but unicorns from a woman who signs up for a dating site: "I'm a nutbag".