HELP! Family Food Hell - Impossible to Cook for DH

[Anonymous]

OP - I don't know if it will help, but my DH is a weird eater (not against eating food, just only likes to eat at night). He never ate in front of my son. One day, my son sat down for a meal and refused to eat, because Daddy did not eat. That night I pointed out to my DH that he was a big influence on my son. The realization that what he was doing was impacting our son was enough to get him to sit down and eat with us. And now he eats everything, even the crap I know he doesn't really like. So my point is, does your DH realize his behavior is impacting the kids?

[Anonymous]

DH probably doesn't worry about impacting the kids because our daughters are 3yo and 7mo. But I am very bothered because DD used to eat everything as a toddler. One day she began refusing certain things. I feel so lucky that she likes oatmeal and peanut butter but she adores DH. When she realizes that he does not like these things, I am afraid she will stop.

Now when I prepare something healthy -- made ratatouille this week, for example -- I know that I'll have to eat it all by myself. DH often works late. DD and I eat earlier. If she does not eat all her vegetables she does not get dessert. DH has never been as strict with her. She sees him eating takeout or a shake or a huge bag of chips or gummy bears and naturally wants some.

[Anonymous]

First off, have your DH seen by a doctor - as in a psychiatrist - he might have some weird form of OCD. Second, tell him flat out that it is your responsibility to provide well-rounded meals for your family; as such, you plan to make one meal and expect everybody to eat it. If DH doesn't want it, then he needs to make something himself (and that he needs to eat it out of sight from the rest of the family.) You might mention to him that it looks like he's already had an influence on your child (though I would argue that to some degree, it's probably just your child's age). Whether your DH's issue is medical or not, you shouldn't be responsible for catering to his off-the-wall needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The other day I went to a deli and bought him his native beef stew, which he normally loves. It came with mashed potatoes. He would not eat it because he said that he can only eat that stew with fries. .

You know, this sounds like weird abuse to me...or like a two year-old

Yeah what a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Does DH have a weight problem? With all the eating out and cream-based stuff, the lack of many vegetables, I'd be surprised if he didn't. This could be something his regular doctor might address as well.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but not very overweight. He is willing to go without food for hours if the right kind is unavailable. He also hates chocolate, which helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give up on your husband and focus on your kids. You cannot make him change and he does not want to change. Get your kids involved in the shopping and cooking and make it fun and interesting for them, and plunk down a stack of takeout menus in front of him every night. Oh, and demand that he take out both a really good life insurance and disability insurance policy.

Seriously. Tell him you are washing your hands of any responsiblity for his eating and then do it.

I agree 100%. I do all the cooking and what I cook is what there is to eat. If you don't like it go and find something else to eat. That will be more leftovers for me the next night.

The OPs husband sounds really ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. As a distraught newlywed I asked my mom for advice and she said give him whatever he wants and don't try to force him to change. Often I will get the takeout that is acceptable to him but even that is not foolproof.

The other day I went to a deli and bought him his native beef stew, which he normally loves. It came with mashed potatoes. He would not eat it because he said that he can only eat that stew with fries. So I ended up eating it -- and the potatoes were fantastic! I hate wasting food. Many times I am afraid to buy something for him unless I am willing to eat it myself if it does not pass muster. He really likes rich, heavy food more than I do. I used to buy baguettes with Gruyere cheese for him. But then he got bored. It is hard to eat an entire baguette by yourself but I tried.


I appreciate the websites. DH is the pickiest eater I've ever met. It comforts me to know that he is not the only one.

Advice, don't take advice from people who have outdated belief systems based on the role of a subservient woman. A relationship based on respect is much better.