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HELP! Family Food Hell - Impossible to Cook for DH
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Anonymous
That is unkind and rude. What an @sshole. |
Anonymous
| What kind of takeout does he eat? |
Anonymous
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OP -- have you seen this web site? And other support groups for severe picky eating adults?
http://www.pickyeatingadults.com If your husband isn't just a picky eater-jerk, but maybe has a disorder of some kind, he might have given up as a child/teen and just fallen into a rut -- would he be willing to work on becoming a better eater, for the sake of family and kids, if he could see it as a disorder, not something that he is doing "willfully"? |
Anonymous
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more support/treatment ideas for adult picky eaters
http://www.parentingbookmark.com/pages/AN03.htm |
Anonymous
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He may indeed just be selfish, and in that case you know how to deal with it (by ignoring his demands for special cooking). But I am afraid he may have a psychological problem (see a therapist), or an undiagnosed digestive problem (see a doctor).
I have a very picky friend who could not tolerate most foods because of their smell. She felt a lot of guilt over the example she was setting for her children, and is slowly adding vegetables to her family diet, but with much effort. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| For the person with the picky friend, that sounds different than the OP's situation. It sounds like her DH could care less what effect his eating is having on his kids, and he could care less that he's being a complete jerk to his wife. The fact that your friend feels guilty (over something that must be VERY hard to control, if that's even possible) and is aware that her children are watching what she does will likely make a huge difference to her kids - they can see her making the effort to change, and that's a terrific thing to be modeling, IMHO. |
Anonymous
He might just be a jerk about -- but he might have just given up. I believe that most people who are extreme picky eaters are unhappy about it, but feel there's nothing they can do to change it. They've been castigated all their lives for being so picky, and no one really helped them overcome the issues -- which could be due to oversensitivity in taste, texture, etc. A compassionate, understanding approach could turn him around. |
Anonymous
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In my house growing up, we had two rules about food and cooking: (1) You were not allowed to criticize the food unless you cooked it; and (2) If you didn't like what was served, you could make yourself a plain peanut butter sandwich. Period. Nothing else. My parents split the cooking and my brother and I started cooking too when we were adolescents. I think these were good rules. I also think your husband is childish, OP, and I agree with other posters that your kids are going to bear the brunt of his bad role-modeling.
Your husband should either start cooking the meals himself or shut up. |
Anonymous
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OP again. As a distraught newlywed I asked my mom for advice and she said give him whatever he wants and don't try to force him to change. Often I will get the takeout that is acceptable to him but even that is not foolproof.
The other day I went to a deli and bought him his native beef stew, which he normally loves. It came with mashed potatoes. He would not eat it because he said that he can only eat that stew with fries. So I ended up eating it -- and the potatoes were fantastic! I hate wasting food. Many times I am afraid to buy something for him unless I am willing to eat it myself if it does not pass muster. He really likes rich, heavy food more than I do. I used to buy baguettes with Gruyere cheese for him. But then he got bored. It is hard to eat an entire baguette by yourself but I tried. I appreciate the websites. DH is the pickiest eater I've ever met. It comforts me to know that he is not the only one. |
Anonymous
You know, this sounds like weird abuse to me...or like a two year-old |
Anonymous
| Unfortunately, I think it is time to ditch the "family" dinners. You need to worry about your children first. I would not cook for your husband any longer and instead cook for you and the children and eat with them. If you still want to make something special for your husband (I'm somewhat sympathetic to you being a newlywed), you can make him something seperately and he can eat it after you and the children eat. You cannot let him pass this on to your children. You also cannot allow him to dictate like that and to act like a child without any reprocussions. If you do still cook him special meals, stick with 4 or 5 that you know he eats and forget trying to get creative. You've tried and he's rejected you so forget it. And, yes, it goes without saying that he is being a total a$$, but you need to worry about him not exposing your children to this a$$holish behavior. |
Anonymous
| OP, not a newlywed -- married 5 years. |
Anonymous
| Sorry OP. I thought your "distraught newlywed" comment was recent. So it sounds like you started giving in to him early on and the pattern snowballed. I think it's never too late to nip bad behavior in the bud. My DH is very picky too, so I feel for you, but yours is in a whole othe league. Good luck and I hope the posts have been helping. |
Anonymous
I think this is about control and how far he can push you. |
Anonymous
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Sounds very controlling to me, too.
My sister's husband is a very picky eater. She prepares dinners for herself and the kids. He either sits at the table or doesn't, and then cooks himself his own dinner. He is fine with this, as he doesn't expect her to be a short order cook just because he has food aversions. Her children (now teens) are all good eaters who eat whatever is placed before them. But her dh was supportive of that, which probably helped. |