Grandparent solo vacation request not sitting well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not be an adult and speak to them about it? It's not sitting well because you don't have all of the information. You should have communicated with them first. Perhaps your communication skills are lacking.

No, she doesn’t have all the information. Because the grandparents promised cupcakes and candy to the kid without asking the parents first. “But pleeease, mommy! Grandma says I can have them!”

The issue isn’t the location. The issue is the grandparents promised the child something without asking the parents first. Now mom has to be the bad guy. That’s wrong.

[Anonymous]

I would let them do it. It seems very selfish that you want to be the one to show it to him, especially as you are making no effort to take him there. Let them go and enjoy it. You will make your own special memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're slightly overreacting. His experience with them will not be anywhere close to the experience he has with you, when you finally take him. Perhaps use this as motivation to make it happen in the near future.

+1

Also, your expectations to share you childhood experiences with him in some dramatic mother son bonding moment is nutty. Kid will not care about your childhood experiences.

Agree completely. Your whole approach to this is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not be an adult and speak to them about it? It's not sitting well because you don't have all of the information. You should have communicated with them first. Perhaps your communication skills are lacking.

No, she doesn’t have all the information. Because the grandparents promised cupcakes and candy to the kid without asking the parents first. “But pleeease, mommy! Grandma says I can have them!”

The issue isn’t the location. The issue is the grandparents promised the child something without asking the parents first. Now mom has to be the bad guy. That’s wrong.

She can easily get ALL of the information by speaking to the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not be an adult and speak to them about it? It's not sitting well because you don't have all of the information. You should have communicated with them first. Perhaps your communication skills are lacking.

No, she doesn’t have all the information. Because the grandparents promised cupcakes and candy to the kid without asking the parents first. “But pleeease, mommy! Grandma says I can have them!”

The issue isn’t the location. The issue is the grandparents promised the child something without asking the parents first. Now mom has to be the bad guy. That’s wrong.

She can easily get ALL of the information by speaking to the grandparents.

Right!

But her question was, what to say if/when that conversation took place.

[Anonymous]

OP, where is this special place?

[Anonymous]

You are going to be really disappointed when you finally take your son to this place. You've built it up so much in your mind that if you go and he's like, "Yeah, this is okay, I guess," you're going to be upset. Part of what made it special to you was that you went there often--but your kid has never been and you have no plans to take him there.

It's quite possible that your in-laws meant well--they know you love this place, they know that you can't take your son, and they thought that taking him there would be a good thing. Acting like they're being spiteful and stomping all over your boundaries is coming at it the wrong way. Yes, they should have said something to you first, but maybe they just said it on the spur of the moment, "Oh, maybe we'll take you there this summer." They might never take the steps to make it happen.

That said, it's fine if you don't want your elderly in-laws to take your child to a beach without you. That is not an unreasonable thing. Just don't go into this with your dander up, looking for a fight or to have your feelings hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't trust anyone else with my child near water. That is non-negotiable for me. No way would I trust an elderly person to watch my child near the ocean, a lake, etc. Until they're skilled swimmers, the only person who takes them near water is me.

+1