Sick of Smug Girlfriends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never met or knew any woman like your friends. I suggest you find better quality women for friends. That being said, you're obviously jealous as all get out because you used the stepford wives label. Every woman that doesn't live that life always utters that when they try to make fun of those that do live it.

Not nice. I dare you to tell your friends what you posted.

Op here. I didn’t say I’m not jealous. Who wouldn’t want entry into a life of privilege after signing a piece of paper?

OP, if you were the career oriented achiever you so smugly believe yourself to be (as opposed to these "friends"), you wouldn't feel jealous of these women entering marriage for wealth.

But I suspect you're more like them than you admit, you've just failed to recognize/realize these goals whereas they have, and that bothers you.

So you make it about how you're disappointed in them/"confused"/"disheartened."

Get a life.

Bigtime this.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like OP would be much happier being one of her friends then in being herself even though she speaks of her friends with disdain. I don't know any women like her friends and I did the college & MBA route with many ambitious women. Some of the MBA-ers became SAHM's but never bragged about their rich husbands or lifestyles - most wished they could have worked but made the choice about staying at home.

[Anonymous]

Because to most women (though certainly not all), whether they choose to admit it publicly, marrying a rich guy and staying at home is winning the lottery. Men don't have that luxury. Feminism has really messed up this cushy gig for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started off with what I thought was a friendship group of smart motivated ambitious women. We all graduated from competitive colleges and some of us have advanced degrees. We worked in reputable organizations and made the right connections.

Over the past five years however, I have witnessed friend after friend change after meeting a guy. One married a rich guy 5 years older who owns a business and multiple homes. After marriage she quit her law school application and became a stay at home wife. Brunches with her entailed listening to her triumphant account of how she was so smart to snag a rich guy and now she and her kids are high rollers. I quote, “ Mama raised no fool!”

Another was in finance and talked about being a hustling career woman. Met and is now marrying a trust funder. All of a sudden, she “thinks working is a waste of life” and wants to focus on building a family. She has completely lost any career ambitions she has and is playing wife even before she’s married.

I had brunch with another this past week. She was sooo happy and smug. She said the number 1 thing she’s happy about is that her serious boyfriend makes good money and now she has less pressure to work on her job. She was talking about how big she wants her e gagemebt ring to be and whether she should sign a prenup considering she wants to take advantage of his wealth if it doesn’t work out.

...the f*ck?

Not going to lie. I sat there and felt envious. My husband is definitely not a sugar daddy and I’ll definitely have to keep working. I feel stupid. I didn’t even think of that when dating. Where the hell was my head?

Sounds like the hamlet. Can’t throw a stone without hitting a house with a stay at home like this

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you have been left disheartened by your friends but I applaud you!! for being so down to earth, smart, hardworking, and for marrying your best friend. I think that definitely puts you ahead. Not everyone can say they’re married to their best friend. <3 I can’t imagine anything better! How lucky you both are to have found each other!! and what wonderful, admirable traits being down to earth and hardworking are. I hope you don’t ever lose those!! You are going to be a wonderful example to your children some day. You may even be a wonderful example to the others in your group. Have you considered adding some new members or starting/joining another group that shares in the reasons you joined the group in the first place? I don’t imagine that would be an easy thing to do but I’ll be praying for you this week as you decide where you want to go from here. I hope this helps! I appreciate you sharing your story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started off with what I thought was a friendship group of smart motivated ambitious women. We all graduated from competitive colleges and some of us have advanced degrees. We worked in reputable organizations and made the right connections.

Over the past five years however, I have witnessed friend after friend change after meeting a guy. One married a rich guy 5 years older who owns a business and multiple homes. After marriage she quit her law school application and became a stay at home wife. Brunches with her entailed listening to her triumphant account of how she was so smart to snag a rich guy and now she and her kids are high rollers. I quote, “ Mama raised no fool!”

Another was in finance and talked about being a hustling career woman. Met and is now marrying a trust funder. All of a sudden, she “thinks working is a waste of life” and wants to focus on building a family. She has completely lost any career ambitions she has and is playing wife even before she’s married.

I had brunch with another this past week. She was sooo happy and smug. She said the number 1 thing she’s happy about is that her serious boyfriend makes good money and now she has less pressure to work on her job. She was talking about how big she wants her e gagemebt ring to be and whether she should sign a prenup considering she wants to take advantage of his wealth if it doesn’t work out.

...the f*ck?

Not going to lie. I sat there and felt envious. My husband is definitely not a sugar daddy and I’ll definitely have to keep working. I feel stupid. I didn’t even think of that when dating. Where the hell was my head?

Someone please tell me OP is a troll.

Not even in Alabama can you find this type of "Mama raised no fool' inane stupidity.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you don’t have the courage of your convictions, either. Why did you go through all that schooling? Now you suddenly think you want to dump it all and be a SAHM?

The divorce rate is about 50%. Maybe you should be talking to all the SAHMs who have gotten to middle age and find out their spouse has been having an affair and wants to dump them for a hot, young mistress. Now they’re in the position of having to find a well paying job that can support themselves and their kids. A man is not a plan.

Or maybe you just need to learn everything the hard way.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never met or knew any woman like your friends. I suggest you find better quality women for friends. That being said, you're obviously jealous as all get out because you used the stepford wives label. Every woman that doesn't live that life always utters that when they try to make fun of those that do live it.

Not nice. I dare you to tell your friends what you posted.

Op here. I didn’t say I’m not jealous. Who wouldn’t want entry into a life of privilege after signing a piece of paper?

OP, if you were the career oriented achiever you so smugly believe yourself to be (as opposed to these "friends"), you wouldn't feel jealous of these women entering marriage for wealth.

But I suspect you're more like them than you admit, you've just failed to recognize/realize these goals whereas they have, and that bothers you.

So you make it about how you're disappointed in them/"confused"/"disheartened."

Get a life.

Bigtime this.

+ 1 and OP sounds like a shitty judegmental friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you don’t have the courage of your convictions, either. Why did you go through all that schooling? Now you suddenly think you want to dump it all and be a SAHM?

The divorce rate is about 50%. Maybe you should be talking to all the SAHMs who have gotten to middle age and find out their spouse has been having an affair and wants to dump them for a hot, young mistress. Now they’re in the position of having to find a well paying job that can support themselves and their kids. A man is not a plan.

Or maybe you just need to learn everything the hard way.

So true. I’m one of those women who married an ambitious guy who makes a ton, but I don’t have the courage to be a sahm and drop out of the workplace completely. I’ve seen the way younger women throw themselves at him, and who knows, maybe one day he will get bored of me and have an affair or want a divorce. I’d rather be ready if that day ever comes, and it doesn’t sound like OP’s friends will be.

[Anonymous]

My husband is sitting on tens of millions of family wealth and himself makes 300K+ a year. My family are first generation immigrants so their wealth isn't as large but it ain't shabby either. I make 250K a year. Neither of us are interested in leaving our professions which we are lucky to have and love. We have one child whom we adore and are debating another (because we have no family in the area and it's tough). We share childcare and household duties equally.

What you describe is not a great choice for most women (those who can't actually choose, even if appears they willingly gave up their professional lives). The women who opt for this "life of luxury" will soon realize that something is missing in their lives, that they will not be able to develop themselves fully as people. Perhaps some will, but not everyone is cut out to be Martha Steward (just like not everyone is cut out to be a pilot, engineer, lawyer, artist). Staying at home and supporting a husband (let alone taking care of kids or managing a household) is no walk in the park, don't be fooled. My guess is many of these women were coerced in some subtle and not so subtle ways into that role, and many will end up feeling like the women of Mad Men. (Again, some will really find themselves in homemaking as a calling, but many many more will not.)

Feminism has a long way to go, until we don't discuss staying home with a rich husband as a life of luxury. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is sitting on tens of millions of family wealth and himself makes 300K+ a year. My family are first generation immigrants so their wealth isn't as large but it ain't shabby either. I make 250K a year. Neither of us are interested in leaving our professions which we are lucky to have and love. We have one child whom we adore and are debating another (because we have no family in the area and it's tough). We share childcare and household duties equally.

What you describe is not a great choice for most women (those who can't actually choose, even if appears they willingly gave up their professional lives). The women who opt for this "life of luxury" will soon realize that something is missing in their lives, that they will not be able to develop themselves fully as people. Perhaps some will, but not everyone is cut out to be Martha Steward (just like not everyone is cut out to be a pilot, engineer, lawyer, artist). Staying at home and supporting a husband (let alone taking care of kids or managing a household) is no walk in the park, don't be fooled. My guess is many of these women were coerced in some subtle and not so subtle ways into that role, and many will end up feeling like the women of Mad Men. (Again, some will really find themselves in homemaking as a calling, but many many more will not.)

Feminism has a long way to go, until we don't discuss staying home with a rich husband as a life of luxury. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get to work.

-1,000

Pathetic.

This is asinine, on a lot of levels. But the primary one is you assume everyone thinks like you, and believes that slaving away for a wage is the life one should live.

Realize that you can't even see past your own point of view enough to appreciate that there are many people out there like us, rich, middle class, and poor, who would love *more time* to ourselves and less time **working.** And that this is not "anti-feminist."

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll

Yeah, she posts periodically about the same thing but her “friends” are caricatures - not because they married wealthy men and stayed at home, but because of the things they say and do that just don’t ring true. Very odd troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This speaks more to your envy and discomfort with yourself than it does about your girl friends.

Exactly.

Your friends probably secretly pity you for not meeting your own goldmine. And they speculate about why.