Divorcing DH as he doesn't respect me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH isn't as bad as yours, but he hasn't respected me for a long time (if ever, I remember he was pretty s****y to me early on). The only things that got him to respect me again were getting "hot" again and working again. When I was a SAHM, he just saw me as a moocher, no matter how much work I actually did. But once he saw I could take care of myself and replace him if needed, he got his act together.

Figure out if divorce is a good financial option for you. You may not get much alimony and may have to work again. Is that something you want to do?

Why would you want to be married to someone like this? Doormat.

because she doesn't work! she has no money of her own.

You missed the point. Why would a person want to marry someone who's only going to be respectful toward you if you're 1) hot; and 2) making money? What happens if you get sick or have a kid and need to stay home for some reason like the kid is SN or god forbid, lost your attractiveness permanently under circumstances outside your control? Plus, apparently he was shitty to her early on. Door mat!

DP. It's not like these points were advertised from the beginning.

So? Why continue to be married to him? It's like you all are determined to defend staying with an asshole who is only nice/respectful to you if you are 1)"hot; and 2) making money. WTF, ladies?

again: she continues to be married to him because she has no income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH isn't as bad as yours, but he hasn't respected me for a long time (if ever, I remember he was pretty s****y to me early on). The only things that got him to respect me again were getting "hot" again and working again. When I was a SAHM, he just saw me as a moocher, no matter how much work I actually did. But once he saw I could take care of myself and replace him if needed, he got his act together.

Figure out if divorce is a good financial option for you. You may not get much alimony and may have to work again. Is that something you want to do?

Why would you want to be married to someone like this? Doormat.

because she doesn't work! she has no money of her own.

You missed the point. Why would a person want to marry someone who's only going to be respectful toward you if you're 1) hot; and 2) making money? What happens if you get sick or have a kid and need to stay home for some reason like the kid is SN or god forbid, lost your attractiveness permanently under circumstances outside your control? Plus, apparently he was shitty to her early on. Door mat!

DP. It's not like these points were advertised from the beginning.

So? Why continue to be married to him? It's like you all are determined to defend staying with an asshole who is only nice/respectful to you if you are 1)"hot; and 2) making money. WTF, ladies?

again: she continues to be married to him because she has no income.

You need to read her post again. She works now. That and making sure she looks "hot" is how she gets her "husband" to treat her respectfully. Otherwise, he's a jerk.

[grace4ever]

I’m sorry that you are going through. It is a difficult situation that you are in. Even in the darkest moments there is always hope. It is understandable the way that you feel because everyone expects that our husband accept us and affirm us as wives. Counseling can be helpful to work things like this. . You and your husband are valuable and worth fighting for. I’m hopefully both of you can restore your relationship. I encourage you to forgive him. Forgiveness does not mean that he is doing right but it is that you appreciate more the relationship that you have with him and let go each other differences. Also I encourage you to discern if you and your partner can improve the relationship and see if both can solve the problems and motivate each other to forgive and start again. Get help from an objective party who is a position to help you that is a good choice. Have you ever heard about the book: His needs and her needs by William Harley Jr.? It is an interesting book of a psychologist based on his experiences of counseling married couples. He discovered that the problem is not in the communication but in learning how to love your spouse. This book was a great tool for me when the things did go well in the relationship with my husband however it helped us very much. . I hope this can help. I do not know if you whether believe in God but I will keep you in my prayers my friend. Keep us posted, Ok?

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP