How to comfortably return to company I left over sexual harassment issue?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you just want to do this as an "F you" to the person who harassed you. That's really not a positive motivation or justification to pursue this job.
"Why should what happened stop me..."'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also alas no 600k partner. I will have to look for that thread at some point.

You are trolling us. Your situation is so specific and was brought up in the 600K DH startup thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I chose not to sue, I chose to leave. I take responsibility for that, but that was entirely within my rights and created no extra drama. A drawn out lawsuit would have had much more dramatic punch. Obviously if I totally mishandled it on the professional front, I would not be getting recruited back. I am still not sure I wish I had reported to be honest—I might have gotten nowhere AND damaged my career and reputation. And this is why it sucks to be a woman who is harassed in her place of employment. It’s often a no win situation.

Why is suing the ONLY alternative? You could have called him out, alerted his boss and HR. I am not saying you made a bad choice--you did what YOU needed to do. We all make choices due to age and maturity levels that we wouldn't necessarily make 5 years later with different support systems. Own that fight or flight decision. Your interest in returning to this company looks like you are ready for a fight if/when this guy tries it again. There is no way to comfortably return to this company. Move on.

[Anonymous]

I have moved on. I am not looking for a fight. I hope to never see or interact with this person and will do my best not to. The question was whether or not I should do anything to protect myself. I am not a troll. I haven't even had a chance to look at that other thread you're referring to. I actually have no interest in retribution; I just want to go to work and do my job. but I have to say, this thread is exhibit a why I didn't report in the first place. You get called a drama queen. You get called a liar. You get called hostile. You're "looking for trouble," or have ulterior motives. I strongly suggest that the people doubting me or my motives take a good inward look. You are part of the problem, whether you're a man or a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have moved on. I am not looking for a fight. I hope to never see or interact with this person and will do my best not to. The question was whether or not I should do anything to protect myself. I am not a troll. I haven't even had a chance to look at that other thread you're referring to. I actually have no interest in retribution; I just want to go to work and do my job. but I have to say, this thread is exhibit a why I didn't report in the first place. You get called a drama queen. You get called a liar. You get called hostile. You're "looking for trouble," or have ulterior motives. I strongly suggest that the people doubting me or my motives take a good inward look. You are part of the problem, whether you're a man or a woman.

As was said before, its because of your attitude and refusal to listen. Not because of what happened to you. Its your personality, your stubbornness, and your refusal to see outside yourself that is causing people to respond in this manner. Zero to do with sexual harrassment.

[Anonymous]

PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have moved on. I am not looking for a fight. I hope to never see or interact with this person and will do my best not to. The question was whether or not I should do anything to protect myself. I am not a troll. I haven't even had a chance to look at that other thread you're referring to. I actually have no interest in retribution; I just want to go to work and do my job. but I have to say, this thread is exhibit a why I didn't report in the first place. You get called a drama queen. You get called a liar. You get called hostile. You're "looking for trouble," or have ulterior motives. I strongly suggest that the people doubting me or my motives take a good inward look. You are part of the problem, whether you're a man or a woman.

As was said before, its because of your attitude and refusal to listen. Not because of what happened to you. Its your personality, your stubbornness, and your refusal to see outside yourself that is causing people to respond in this manner. Zero to do with sexual harrassment.

Umm, what exactly is she refusing to listen to? I agree with OP - for some reason she's bringing out the hostility because she's not acting in precisely the way you think a sexual harassment victim should act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

your advice seems to be limited to saying that OP has no right to pursue a job for which she is qualified for, because she was the victim of sexual harassment. that's pretty f-upped advice. obviously OP's situation has some professional/personal pitfalls, so it would be nice if someone could contribute actual experience and informed advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

your advice seems to be limited to saying that OP has no right to pursue a job for which she is qualified for, because she was the victim of sexual harassment. that's pretty f-upped advice. obviously OP's situation has some professional/personal pitfalls, so it would be nice if someone could contribute actual experience and informed advice.

How do you know which pp is which? All these responses are anonymous. I happen to think OP's immaturity shines through each of her posts. I don't think this will end well for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

your advice seems to be limited to saying that OP has no right to pursue a job for which she is qualified for, because she was the victim of sexual harassment. that's pretty f-upped advice. obviously OP's situation has some professional/personal pitfalls, so it would be nice if someone could contribute actual experience and informed advice.

How do you know which pp is which? All these responses are anonymous. I happen to think OP's immaturity shines through each of her posts. I don't think this will end well for her.

New PP - you need to lay off. You made your point pretty clear. Fwiw, you don't get to decide that no one wants to listen to OP anymore. The tone and writing style of these responses indicate there are 1-2 people who are going after the OP since she followed up. It's clear you don't agree with her so maybe it's time to stop responding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

your advice seems to be limited to saying that OP has no right to pursue a job for which she is qualified for, because she was the victim of sexual harassment. that's pretty f-upped advice. obviously OP's situation has some professional/personal pitfalls, so it would be nice if someone could contribute actual experience and informed advice.

How do you know which pp is which? All these responses are anonymous. I happen to think OP's immaturity shines through each of her posts. I don't think this will end well for her.

New PP - you need to lay off. You made your point pretty clear. Fwiw, you don't get to decide that no one wants to listen to OP anymore. The tone and writing style of these responses indicate there are 1-2 people who are going after the OP since she followed up. It's clear you don't agree with her so maybe it's time to stop responding.

Hi OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP you have offered nothing but insults. No actionable steps. I also love that you think you can intuit my personality from this thread. I guess we are both done here.

Actually, I offered you very good advice earlier in the thread. No one wants to listen to you anymore, that's why you had to be the one to revive the thread. It was dead.

your advice seems to be limited to saying that OP has no right to pursue a job for which she is qualified for, because she was the victim of sexual harassment. that's pretty f-upped advice. obviously OP's situation has some professional/personal pitfalls, so it would be nice if someone could contribute actual experience and informed advice.

How do you know which pp is which? All these responses are anonymous. I happen to think OP's immaturity shines through each of her posts. I don't think this will end well for her.

New PP - you need to lay off. You made your point pretty clear. Fwiw, you don't get to decide that no one wants to listen to OP anymore. The tone and writing style of these responses indicate there are 1-2 people who are going after the OP since she followed up. It's clear you don't agree with her so maybe it's time to stop responding.

Hi OP!

Really? You are deranged.

[Anonymous]

I am OP-- I came back just to say thank you to the posters who seem to understand the situation, the risk I am taking, and my mixed feelings. I'm not wasting any energy worrying about that poster who thinks I'm immature. There's something very off with that person. And I have always been upfront when it's me posting.

[Anonymous]

OP, I just want to say that I think you’re pretty brave for considering a position there at all and I am sorry you are encountering the internet version of “what did you do to deserve it.”

PP(s): please stop and consider that OP also probably has significant investment in the industry and/or skillset and stepping away isn’t always long term possible.

OP, I don’t think the situation is without pitfalls but I’m pretty impressed by your bravery for even considering it.