DH thinks excessive TV time is "bonding"

[Anonymous]

About the only "bonding" I ever did with my dad was watching Redskins games with him on our brand new color console TV that my mom said he spent way too much money on...in the 60s. My two brothers and sister didn't like football so they pretty much didn't get to bond with him at all.

[Anonymous]

Nah. Its you who lets your kid wacth many tv. You and your husband should graduate first how to raise kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Its you who lets your kid wacth many tv. You and your husband should graduate first how to raise kids.

Professor, first you must publish the book.

[Anonymous]

I hate TV. I hate being begged for it; I hate arguing with DH over it; I hate the negotiating for it - I just hate it. I have one TV addicted kid at nearly three who begs for TV morning noon and night and a DH who started it - like OP's did - for "bonding" (even though DH wasn't actually watching with DS). Now because DS1 is always begging for more TV, DS2 - just one - wants it, too.

Sorry to vent all over your thread, OP. I think both of our husbands are jerks on this topic and I wish I had NEVER given in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The excuses for men here are outrageous and depressing in their predictability .

Let's see if I can get them all in before more similarly-minded posters come along.

-Men, unlike women, need to unwind. Cut him some slack.

-Kids are just kind of boring (only to men, apparently) until they're like 2. Wait, no-- 4. Wait, no-- 6. Wait, no--

-This is the way men bond, by ignoring their kids. Women like to woman-y things like speak to their children, do chores with their children, interact with or at least do some sort of parallel work in the vicinity of their children. Having reasonably similar expectations of poor, stupid, clueless men is misandry!

-If you have a problem with anything Dad does, you are a Micromanaging Harpy. Also selfish and ungrateful.

-I mean, what did your father even do? How about your grandfather? At least your husband probably knows the kid's name, unlike every one of his male ancestors, who used their children as footstools and martini-bringers. You don't know how good you have it.

-I'm going to assume facts to in evidence by pretending this is only a small part of their time together (even though you said it's almost all of their time) and go off on a tangent about moderation.

-I personally have fond memories of doing this with my dad, albeit at a much older age, which makes it totally fine.

-You probably used a "tone" in speaking to him, so you deserve whatever you get in response. Unlike a woman would, he now has every right to take his ball and storm off in a huff. If he doesn't speak to his child again for the next 16 years, well, you both deserve it, you Micromanaging Harpy.

-Women these days blah blah blah.

Have I about covered it?

You forgot "go do all the research on local weekend classes in your area and hope to find a spot for your kid. Then tell your husband to take DC. The mental load is all on you to initiate all of this."

[Anonymous]

OP, ypu are nit a saint either. You are all blaming to husband, you put your part too im sure with the tv. A kiid only likes a lot tv if both parents let him/her wacth and parents wants a rest, calm time for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Tv is fine but be balance, just like letting kids with videogames, i only let my son 1 hour per day, then he goes play with friends outside or reads a book. My dad was an absent parent, he never was interested in the things i like, only wanted me in be interested in things he likes. Now we are older he likes stuff i like like scary movies and .akes me chuckle. At least your husband is bonding with HIS SON wacthing together they both like. Be positive at telling him how to make other bonding activities. Thats the person you married, you KNEW he was like thst so let it be, be chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The excuses for men here are outrageous and depressing in their predictability .

Let's see if I can get them all in before more similarly-minded posters come along.

-Men, unlike women, need to unwind. Cut him some slack.

-Kids are just kind of boring (only to men, apparently) until they're like 2. Wait, no-- 4. Wait, no-- 6. Wait, no--

-This is the way men bond, by ignoring their kids. Women like to woman-y things like speak to their children, do chores with their children, interact with or at least do some sort of parallel work in the vicinity of their children. Having reasonably similar expectations of poor, stupid, clueless men is misandry!

-If you have a problem with anything Dad does, you are a Micromanaging Harpy. Also selfish and ungrateful.

-I mean, what did your father even do? How about your grandfather? At least your husband probably knows the kid's name, unlike every one of his male ancestors, who used their children as footstools and martini-bringers. You don't know how good you have it.

-I'm going to assume facts to in evidence by pretending this is only a small part of their time together (even though you said it's almost all of their time) and go off on a tangent about moderation.

-I personally have fond memories of doing this with my dad, albeit at a much older age, which makes it totally fine.

-You probably used a "tone" in speaking to him, so you deserve whatever you get in response. Unlike a woman would, he now has every right to take his ball and storm off in a huff. If he doesn't speak to his child again for the next 16 years, well, you both deserve it, you Micromanaging Harpy.

-Women these days blah blah blah.

Have I about covered it?

+1 million. And this is especially maddening considering this is DCUM, where it seems all the moms are militantly anti-screen time, but when dad's doing it, just back off already, he needs to UNWIND, you controlling harpy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ypu are nit a saint either. You are all blaming to husband, you put your part too im sure with the tv. A kiid only likes a lot tv if both parents let him/her wacth and parents wants a rest, calm time for themselves.

This is wild extrapolation.

[Anonymous]

I would do what my parents did when I was a teen and tv addicted. They broke the tv. Disconnected the cable and took away a piece. Granted that meant they didn't watch any either.
I think it's shitty parenting to park your toddler in front of the tv as the only interaction. Not good for anyone.
Sign them up for a class, tell them to go to a playground etc. and I'm sorry your DH is a pain. Toddlers are hard to interact with, but even harder if you never do it.
I see a ton of dads woth babies, toddlers, kids at the bagel place Sunday mornings. They get breakfast and head to the close by playground or some other activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Its you who lets your kid wacth many tv. You and your husband should graduate first how to raise kids.

Professor, first you must publish the book.

[Anonymous]

I used to let this piss me off. Now I just factor in the fact that any time dad is in charge they are watching tv to the weekly screen time allotment.. What kills me is that my kids- 3 and 5- don't even ask for it before he turns it on. They would be fine just playing.

Actually who am I kidding. It still pisses me off. I just fight other battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Its you who lets your kid wacth many tv. You and your husband should graduate first how to raise kids.

Oh look, it's the nanny from the nanny board who can't spell. Unless there are 3 different people on DCUm today who want to rant about kids "wacthing" TV.

[sunnyface]

I’m wondering if your husband feels slightly uncomfortable with the child since he doesn’t get a chance to spend much time with him during the week due to his work schedule. He may have trouble interacting due to nervousness or lack of knowledge of what the child enjoys doing. He may not be secure in his roll as a father on his own. Would you have some time to spend with them so that he can witness what it is that you do with the toddler? What parks the child enjoys, walks that they can take restaurants to visit, games to play or books to read. Does your husband have a friend with a child of similar age? The men can hang out and the children can play. I understand you have responsibilities as well and that is great that your husband helps out so that you can have some free time. He may just need a little training to feel comfortable. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tv is fine but be balance, just like letting kids with videogames, i only let my son 1 hour per day, then he goes play with friends outside or reads a book. My dad was an absent parent, he never was interested in the things i like, only wanted me in be interested in things he likes. Now we are older he likes stuff i like like scary movies and .akes me chuckle. At least your husband is bonding with HIS SON wacthing together they both like. Be positive at telling him how to make other bonding activities. Thats the person you married, you KNEW he was like thst so let it be, be chill.

He's sitting in the same room as his son, who is watching a kid show while the husband surfs OK Cupid on his phone. Bonding!