How to make peace with your lot in life

[Anonymous]

These responses are wild, people. Short of destitution and health crises, you all are living wonderful, imperfect lives. Get a grip and start enjoying yourself. Bored people are boring. Get outside and enjoy nature at the very least for crissake. Go to church, help people, read a book. You only get one shot at this, and in the game of life YOU LUCKED OUT. So start enjoying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another Gen Xer here. Agree with the previous posters of my generation. Not only was greatness not expected, it was often posed as out of reach for most.

Ordinary and Average is what was expected. Getting an education, decent job, marriage, kids.

I disagree with this. I'm in my 40s and was expected to attain greatness. Grew up with tons of pressure to succeed. I disappointed everyone with the way things turned out.

I'm the pp---But what was the definition of succeed?

I was definitely expected to go to college and a further degree was also never out of the question of possibility. I didn't feel pressured, the underlying expectation was there but no further pressuring. I was to find that path to getting there on my own. There was no helicoptering.

But greatness? No. A good job, yes. Middle to upper middle class lifestyle? Yes.

We live a good life, not an over the top instagram/facebook worthy of following life but a pretty good and ordinary life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another Gen Xer here. Agree with the previous posters of my generation. Not only was greatness not expected, it was often posed as out of reach for most.

Ordinary and Average is what was expected. Getting an education, decent job, marriage, kids.

I disagree with this. I'm in my 40s and was expected to attain greatness. Grew up with tons of pressure to succeed. I disappointed everyone with the way things turned out.

I'm the pp---But what was the definition of succeed?

I was definitely expected to go to college and a further degree was also never out of the question of possibility. I didn't feel pressured, the underlying expectation was there but no further pressuring. I was to find that path to getting there on my own. There was no helicoptering.

But greatness? No. A good job, yes. Middle to upper middle class lifestyle? Yes.

We live a good life, not an over the top instagram/facebook worthy of following life but a pretty good and ordinary life.

That's just it, nobody does! IG and FB are but fragments of life. It's that split second of happiness or social media worthiness. No one has a life free of sadness or anger or of less than picture perfect. I am constantly amazed that people put so much power into the illusion of social media. Log off these sites if it is bringing you this much unhappiness because of comparisons. Just live the life you want. Your opinion is the only one that matters because you have to wake up each morning and live it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blame the Internet and social media for the angst we all feel. We suffer from information overload. We feel like we have to know it all, do it all, enjoy it all. It's just too much pressure.

I'm a GenXer and I treasure the years before the Internet took over our lives. We lived face-to-face, had real conversations, and didn't live in constant competition with our Facebook "friends".

I feel sorry for my kids. They'll never know the pleasure of a simpler time. Life today is incredibly stressful, competitive, and superficial.

I agree with this to an extent. But..there are a number of millenials living small, authentic lives. They're getting it right I think. They use social media, but to caputure beauty in the mundane and simple. Not things. They create, they spend time outside, they don't kill themselves in jobs they hate to buy bigger houses. They're on to something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are wild, people. Short of destitution and health crises, you all are living wonderful, imperfect lives. Get a grip and start enjoying yourself. Bored people are boring. Get outside and enjoy nature at the very least for crissake. Go to church, help people, read a book. You only get one shot at this, and in the game of life YOU LUCKED OUT. So start enjoying it.

^^I should note that, at 38, I have never used Facebook or instagram. I'm technologically savvy, but prefer privacy. Maybe that's why I'm relatively healthy mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another Gen Xer here. Agree with the previous posters of my generation. Not only was greatness not expected, it was often posed as out of reach for most.

Ordinary and Average is what was expected. Getting an education, decent job, marriage, kids.

I disagree with this. I'm in my 40s and was expected to attain greatness. Grew up with tons of pressure to succeed. I disappointed everyone with the way things turned out.

I'm the pp---But what was the definition of succeed?

I was definitely expected to go to college and a further degree was also never out of the question of possibility. I didn't feel pressured, the underlying expectation was there but no further pressuring. I was to find that path to getting there on my own. There was no helicoptering.

But greatness? No. A good job, yes. Middle to upper middle class lifestyle? Yes.

We live a good life, not an over the top instagram/facebook worthy of following life but a pretty good and ordinary life.

That's just it, nobody does! IG and FB are but fragments of life. It's that split second of happiness or social media worthiness. No one has a life free of sadness or anger or of less than picture perfect. I am constantly amazed that people put so much power into the illusion of social media. Log off these sites if it is bringing you this much unhappiness because of comparisons. Just live the life you want. Your opinion is the only one that matters because you have to wake up each morning and live it.

Pp here- I agree but I think the younger generation doesn't. That's what I'm saying, ordinary is okay and is normal.

Unfortunately, they have been fed this notion of "greatness" and social media that they've grown up with continues to perpetuate this notion of worthiness through pics of seemingly incredible lives though they are just glimpses of often fabricated moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another Gen Xer here. Agree with the previous posters of my generation. Not only was greatness not expected, it was often posed as out of reach for most.

Ordinary and Average is what was expected. Getting an education, decent job, marriage, kids.

I disagree with this. I'm in my 40s and was expected to attain greatness. Grew up with tons of pressure to succeed. I disappointed everyone with the way things turned out.

I'm the pp---But what was the definition of succeed?

I was definitely expected to go to college and a further degree was also never out of the question of possibility. I didn't feel pressured, the underlying expectation was there but no further pressuring. I was to find that path to getting there on my own. There was no helicoptering.

But greatness? No. A good job, yes. Middle to upper middle class lifestyle? Yes.

We live a good life, not an over the top instagram/facebook worthy of following life but a pretty good and ordinary life.

That's just it, nobody does! IG and FB are but fragments of life. It's that split second of happiness or social media worthiness. No one has a life free of sadness or anger or of less than picture perfect. I am constantly amazed that people put so much power into the illusion of social media. Log off these sites if it is bringing you this much unhappiness because of comparisons. Just live the life you want. Your opinion is the only one that matters because you have to wake up each morning and live it.

Pp here- I agree but I think the younger generation doesn't. That's what I'm saying, ordinary is okay and is normal.

Unfortunately, they have been fed this notion of "greatness" and social media that they've grown up with continues to perpetuate this notion of worthiness through pics of seemingly incredible lives though they are just glimpses of often fabricated moments.

To quote the wise Buddy Pine/Syndrome, "if everyone is special, no one is!"

[Anonymous]

My goal as a child was to escape my backwater state and work on cool science/engineering (like every kid wanted to be in astronaut)

I achieved both my dreams, but never really thought about making money, and now we struggle b/c engineering generally pays just okay and not enough for SAH and UMC life in DC metro. So even though living my dream, I see the gaps in what I aspired too.

In short, it's clear for most of us, our childhood selves knew squat. Why are you lamenting not living up to that idiots dreams?

[Anonymous]

Fixed it for ya:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the generation of women who was told growing up that she could do anything and everything [if she worked hard at it] and that she [could contribute to make the world a better place]. I thought by now I'd have a thriving and successful career as a doctor or some prestigious organization such as the UN. I'd be married to a well to do man and live in a beautiful house with a baby on the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fixed it for ya:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the generation of women who was told growing up that she could do anything and everything [if she worked hard at it] and that she [could contribute to make the world a better place]. I thought by now I'd have a thriving and successful career as a doctor or some prestigious organization such as the UN. I'd be married to a well to do man and live in a beautiful house with a baby on the way.

OK, so who told you that?! One person? Mom? Teachers? Did you go to a rigorous private school?

Are you a millennial or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fixed it for ya:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the generation of women who was told growing up that she could do anything and everything [if she worked hard at it] and that she [could contribute to make the world a better place]. I thought by now I'd have a thriving and successful career as a doctor or some prestigious organization such as the UN. I'd be married to a well to do man and live in a beautiful house with a baby on the way.

OK, so who told you that?! One person? Mom? Teachers? Did you go to a rigorous private school?

Are you a millennial or not?

Gen-X. Heard this from parents, teachers, mentors, books, myself. Went to public school in Montgomery County. Became a lawyer and now work on community economic empowerment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird! You have to be a millennial. I don't mean that as a pejorative but rather you were told all those things. I am a GenXer and was told the best I could hope for was an Associates degree from a Community College and a job as a secretary. My parents expected me to go to college but the details were up to me.

I think it is really damaging to "oversell" life. We all can't be rockstars. Most of life is really boring. My DH is well known in his field and has been on a magazine cover but he hates his job. Jobs are usually boring!! Whether you're a big shot or a worker bee. Being an adult isn't sexy and exciting most of the time. Sorry. You need to find something that makes you happy. Travel? Art? Parties? Hiking? And do it. Life is what you make it.

I am 40. I have an associates degree from community college that took me FIVE YEARS to get, and I am a legal secretary. I barely thought I'd be able to graduate from high school, so am relieved I got as far as I could. I have a 15 yr old whose braces I am almost finished paying off. She's smart and funny and has sweet friends. I have a tiny one bedroom apartment and enough money to buy extras like a smelly candle or to take us out to brunch. We take a small 3 day vacation every 4 or 5 years. I'm saving up to buy a condo hopefully by 50.

::Shrug:: Not everyone can be a rockstar. Somebody has to work FOR the rockstar, you know?

I didn't mean that as a put down. I meant to say that when Xers were teens no one sold us a dream of being doctors or lawyers as the only mark of success. I felt like women were not steered into a CEO career path or that it was even possible. There is nothing wrong with an AS and being a legal secretary! The problem with OP is she was told that only a doctor or lawyer was acceptable. Hell, my job didn't even exist when I was in High School. I also didn't own a house until I was 41. Nothing wrong with it. We are more then our jobs and our possessions.

AS=AA Associates degree.

FYI, you can have an associates of arts OR an associates of science. I think my actual degree is an AAS - Associates of Applied Sciences. Doesn't matter - it all means an associates degree from community college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the generation of women who was told growing up that she could do anything and everything and that she was the best. I thought by now I'd have a thriving and successful career as a doctor or some prestigious organization such as the UN. I'd be married to a well to do man and live in a beautiful house with a baby on the way.

Instead my life is so...ordinary. I have a normal middle manager job at a nobody office and am dating a very average guy with a boring job. We live a very middle class life. I'm thankful for my health and life but...I feel so disappointed.

You should be disappointed. You bought into the feminist lie and now you know. Don't make that mistake again if you have a daughter.

That damn Woman's March, possy hat and all, was a bs stunt too. The only benefit came from the ones on stage. The got publicity they could exchange for money, you in the real world got the finger.

LIES. ALL LIES.

[Anonymous]

I think our society does women a huge disservice by constantly suggesting that normal is to have a lucarativr career you are passionate about, be slim and look like never had kids, have a few kids, have husband with alpha job...

It's bullshit. I actually live the above, but I'm freaking exhausted and burnt out. I worry I've missed too much of my son's childhood and I need a long vacation. What looks enviable on the outside isn't always so enviable...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think our society does women a huge disservice by constantly suggesting that normal is to have a lucarativr career you are passionate about, be slim and look like never had kids, have a few kids, have husband with alpha job...

It's bullshit. I actually live the above, but I'm freaking exhausted and burnt out. I worry I've missed too much of my son's childhood and I need a long vacation. What looks enviable on the outside isn't always so enviable...

+1. Having it all = look good, work hard, house, kids, husband, etc. F this. So burnt out.