I'm certain my son has a boyfriend, but he hasn't told me so. Don't know why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nice superficial overview from across your fence, but what do you know about their emotional life and pain that resulted in this choice?

Certainly more than you do, given that I know them and you don't.

[Anonymous]

OP, please report back and let us know how your talk went. It sounds like your son is a nice kid and a supportive friend who is being a shoulder to lean on for someone who just lost a parent. That is a great kid, regardless of whether this is a romantic or a platonic relationship. Well done, mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not ask? Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and fully support what ever you choose.

I like this with just one change -

Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and [b]fully support you.

Saying you "fully support whatever you choose" makes it sound like you think sexuality is a choice - and its pretty clear that its not. So, don't say that.

You fully support whatever your kid chooses?! Wow. Your job is to bra parent, you know. Not a best friend.

Yeah, PP. Try to be a better bra parent.

The right bra parent offers full support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not ask? Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and fully support what ever you choose.

I like this with just one change -

Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and [b]fully support you.

Saying you "fully support whatever you choose" makes it sound like you think sexuality is a choice - and its pretty clear that its not. So, don't say that.

You fully support whatever your kid chooses?! Wow. Your job is to bra parent, you know. Not a best friend.

Yeah, PP. Try to be a better bra parent.

The right bra parent offers full support.

No. The best parent offers guidance, develops character and produces a decent human being. The right parent does not offer unconditional "support" for every crazy, bad it simply wrong thing a child comes up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not ask? Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and fully support what ever you choose.

I like this with just one change -

Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and [b]fully support you.

Saying you "fully support whatever you choose" makes it sound like you think sexuality is a choice - and its pretty clear that its not. So, don't say that.

You fully support whatever your kid chooses?! Wow. Your job is to bra parent, you know. Not a best friend.

Yeah, PP. Try to be a better bra parent.

The right bra parent offers full support.

No. The best parent offers guidance, develops character and produces a decent human being. The right parent does not offer unconditional "support" for every crazy, bad it simply wrong thing a child comes up with.

This is true, but loving your child who just happens to be gay( which is not wrong or crazy) is not a bad parenting choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No. The best parent offers guidance, develops character and produces a decent human being. The right parent does not offer unconditional "support" for every crazy, bad it simply wrong thing a child comes up with.

Absolutely true (except insofar as a parent can only contribute to character development and production of a decent human being; a kid is not a widget).

Now, what does this has to do with OP's post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not ask? Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and fully support what ever you choose.

I like this with just one change -

Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and [b]fully support you.

Saying you "fully support whatever you choose" makes it sound like you think sexuality is a choice - and its pretty clear that its not. So, don't say that.

You fully support whatever your kid chooses?! Wow. Your job is to bra parent, you know. Not a best friend.

Yeah, PP. Try to be a better bra parent.

The right bra parent offers full support.

No. The best parent offers guidance, develops character and produces a decent human being. The right parent does not offer unconditional "support" for every crazy, bad it simply wrong thing a child comes up with.

bra ... support ....

Oh never mind.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been friends with this boy since kindergarten. The boy recently lost his dad, day of the funeral I saw my son kiss the other boy on the cheek and hold his hand. When he was over here yesterday they were holding hands again and when I left for work this morning they were in bed together and he had his arm around him.


Both boys are 16 so it's not as though dating is unexpected. I'm also not homophobic I made a point not to be, as I was raised with that hate and didn't want that in my son's life, My question is why hasn't he told me?

He had a girlfriend last summer and earlier this year and I knew about them.

Obviously, he hasn't said anything for a reason, so is there a way to mention this without making things awkward?

Coming out is tough, even today (I can't begin to imagine what my gay friends went through when we were growing up). He'll come out when he's ready. Until then, just keep showing him you love him, and will love (and accept) him no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has been friends with this boy since kindergarten. The boy recently lost his dad, day of the funeral I saw my son kiss the other boy on the cheek and hold his hand. When he was over here yesterday they were holding hands again and when I left for work this morning they were in bed together and he had his arm around him.


Both boys are 16 so it's not as though dating is unexpected. I'm also not homophobic I made a point not to be, as I was raised with that hate and didn't want that in my son's life, My question is why hasn't he told me?

He had a girlfriend last summer and earlier this year and I knew about them.

Obviously, he hasn't said anything for a reason, so is there a way to mention this without making things awkward?

The weirdest part of your post is that you allow lovers in your child's bed...not age appropriate.

Up until a few weeks ago I never saw anything that would lead me to believe they were anything beyond friends, the kiss and hand holding alone at the funeral didn't stand out that much given the context.

I'm fine with my son having a boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night or have sex in our home, I don't think banning teens from sex is the right approach.

I will let my kids know that I am homophobic and no way in hell they are having sex in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it's none of your business.

The kid is 16 - still a minor.

Do you know you're an idiot, btw?

[Anonymous]

Be a parent and find out what the heck your child is up to. You are not cool by being okay with everything they do and making believe you haven't "noticed" and are waiting for them to come to tell you stuff. You can be kind, caring, and understanding without becoming a door mat. It's called parenting 101.

[Anonymous]

OP, how did it go when you talked to your son?

[Anonymous]

Jeez, you guys are rude give the lady a break. She's not judging her son or saying anything negative about the situation. It may have came as a surprise to her, whats so wrong about that? She asked a question to get some opinions to help be a good mom to her son.
My kids tell me when they are dating someone and my son just told me he has a boyfriend. Was it a surprise? It would have been but my sister told me in confidence so I wouldn't be completely caught off guard and I bet I'm going to be the bad mom for saying that. But i had no idea that my son was ever going to tell me this because he was just in a relationship for 2 years with a girl. Does it matter to me if its a girl or a boy? No I just want all my children to be healthy, safe, and happy.
I hope the best for you and your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not ask? Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and fully support what ever you choose.

I like this with just one change -

Hey, whats going on with you and Larlo? I saw you kiss and hold hands. Just so you know I think he's a great kid and [b]fully support you.

Saying you "fully support whatever you choose" makes it sound like you think sexuality is a choice - and its pretty clear that its not. So, don't say that.

You fully support whatever your kid chooses?! Wow. Your job is to bra parent, you know. Not a best friend.

Yeah, PP. Try to be a better bra parent.

The right bra parent offers full support.

No. The best parent offers guidance, develops character and produces a decent human being. The right parent does not offer unconditional "support" for every crazy, bad it simply wrong thing a child comes up with.

NP. You do have a point, if a kid came out as a Right-wing racist for example, it would not be appropriate to unconditionally "support" that nonsense. But nothing like that is the case here.