"Praying for you"...why don't you actually DO something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very judgmental. Offering to pray for someone absolutely IS doing something. Often when I pray for someone, the very act of spending time thinking about them leads me to action. When we quiet our minds in prayer and meditation, answers to problems are often revealed. Prayer/meditation can bring clarity and show us the best ways to help.

Be careful with that better-than-everyone attitude. It makes me question your real motives for helping.

+1. Illness is not a time to act like you're better than/doing more than other people.

Illness is a time for saying you're praying, as if that could possibly have any effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think "praying for you" is just something people say. does anyone actually prays for someone else and continues to do it?

I do. If I tell you that I am praying for you, then I really, truly am and will continue to do so. Not empty promises, either.

Anyone close to me knows this and sometimes requests that I pray for them.

[Anonymous]

I also pray when I say I will. I believe most people pray. I often so on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very judgmental. Offering to pray for someone absolutely IS doing something. Often when I pray for someone, the very act of spending time thinking about them leads me to action. When we quiet our minds in prayer and meditation, answers to problems are often revealed. Prayer/meditation can bring clarity and show us the best ways to help.

Be careful with that better-than-everyone attitude. It makes me question your real motives for helping.

+1. Illness is not a time to act like you're better than/doing more than other people.

Illness is a time for saying you're praying, as if that could possibly have any effect.

You’re confusing “saying” vs. “doing,” and you’re also confusing both of these with “the action having an impact.” Most people who say they’re going to pray actually do it. Whether or not it can have an effect is the difference between faith and disbelief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very judgmental. Offering to pray for someone absolutely IS doing something. Often when I pray for someone, the very act of spending time thinking about them leads me to action. When we quiet our minds in prayer and meditation, answers to problems are often revealed. Prayer/meditation can bring clarity and show us the best ways to help.

Be careful with that better-than-everyone attitude. It makes me question your real motives for helping.

+1. Illness is not a time to act like you're better than/doing more than other people.

Illness is a time for saying you're praying, as if that could possibly have any effect.

You’re confusing “saying” vs. “doing,” and you’re also confusing both of these with “the action having an impact.” Most people who say they’re going to pray actually do it. Whether or not it can have an effect is the difference between faith and disbelief.

Faith has no role in prayer having an effect. There is no way to measure it and the one scientific attempt to do so failed to show positive results. One assumes that people who pray have faith that it will work, but there is no evidence that it does. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very judgmental. Offering to pray for someone absolutely IS doing something. Often when I pray for someone, the very act of spending time thinking about them leads me to action. When we quiet our minds in prayer and meditation, answers to problems are often revealed. Prayer/meditation can bring clarity and show us the best ways to help.

Be careful with that better-than-everyone attitude. It makes me question your real motives for helping.

+1. Illness is not a time to act like you're better than/doing more than other people.

Illness is a time for saying you're praying, as if that could possibly have any effect.

You’re confusing “saying” vs. “doing,” and you’re also confusing both of these with “the action having an impact.” Most people who say they’re going to pray actually do it. Whether or not it can have an effect is the difference between faith and disbelief.

Faith has no role in prayer having an effect. There is no way to measure it and the one scientific attempt to do so failed to show positive results. One assumes that people who pray have faith that it will work, but there is no evidence that it does. None.

Can you see that you’re arguing with people who believe it could have an impact, a single study notwithstanding.

So you’re not only arguing that
(1) people pray instead of doing anything like bring dinner, which is demonstrably wrong,

but you’re also arguing that

(2) you don’t think prayer can have an impact, so therefore nobody else should believe it could have an impact, let alone pray because they think it could have an impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very judgmental. Offering to pray for someone absolutely IS doing something. Often when I pray for someone, the very act of spending time thinking about them leads me to action. When we quiet our minds in prayer and meditation, answers to problems are often revealed. Prayer/meditation can bring clarity and show us the best ways to help.

Be careful with that better-than-everyone attitude. It makes me question your real motives for helping.

+1. Illness is not a time to act like you're better than/doing more than other people.

Illness is a time for saying you're praying, as if that could possibly have any effect.

You’re confusing “saying” vs. “doing,” and you’re also confusing both of these with “the action having an impact.” Most people who say they’re going to pray actually do it. Whether or not it can have an effect is the difference between faith and disbelief.

Faith has no role in prayer having an effect. There is no way to measure it and the one scientific attempt to do so failed to show positive results. One assumes that people who pray have faith that it will work, but there is no evidence that it does. None.

Can you see that you’re arguing with people who believe it could have an impact, a single study notwithstanding.

So you’re not only arguing that
(1) people pray instead of doing anything like bring dinner, which is demonstrably wrong,

but you’re also arguing that

(2) you don’t think prayer can have an impact, so therefore nobody else should believe it could have an impact, let alone pray because they think it could have an impact.

PP here - I made a factual statement and was not arguing anything. People can believe want they want and pray as much as they want.

Some people will appreciate being prayed for and some won't. People might want to take that into consideration when they tell others they are going to pray for them. This is assuming that your desire is to do something that they will find helpful -- not simply something that will make you feel good.

[Anonymous]

One way to look at it:

I have some time set aside in my day to get outside of my own self-pity and desires, and that's when I pray.
This morning, when I do that, I am going to intentionally reflect on your needs instead of my own.

The next time I see you, I am going to remind you that every day at 7 a.m., I thought about your issues and wished you well. Sometimes I thought about your doctors or nurses.
Sometimes I thought about your family.

As I prayed more, my concerns grew, and I realized that I know someone else who has been to X hospital, used Z service, or tried this kind of tea/massage/parking solution, because I was also praying for them. Next time I see you, I may have an idea that hasn't been thought of, or a solution that's been missed, because I took some quiet time reflect and get out of my own ego to focus on your problem.

When someone who is really religious tells me they offered a service for me, or prayed for me on a walk, I feel like they love me, and if I were upset later, I'd feel more open going to them for emotional support.

However, you could also make a cassarole for someone. That's nice too.

[Anonymous]

I'm an atheist and while I understand the frustration with this phrase I do think its different when it is intimate.

I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first, it took almost a year and a half. And when I had my first baby she was in the NICU for two weeks for complications. I have a friend from Kentucky who told me afterwards that her mom's prayer circle had been praying for me, both to help me get pregnant and for my baby girl's health.

I don't necessarily believe that they had an impact in a material way, but it was a nice warm and full feeling to know that people far away were hoping for and loving us in a way, so they did have an impact in an emotional way. I can't totally knock it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and while I understand the frustration with this phrase I do think its different when it is intimate.

I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first, it took almost a year and a half. And when I had my first baby she was in the NICU for two weeks for complications. I have a friend from Kentucky who told me afterwards that her mom's prayer circle had been praying for me, both to help me get pregnant and for my baby girl's health.

I don't necessarily believe that they had an impact in a material way, but it was a nice warm and full feeling to know that people far away were hoping for and loving us in a way, so they did have an impact in an emotional way. I can't totally knock it.

+1
Prayer doesn't make sense to me. Basically it's begging God to pick you. If you pray harder - adoring and begging him the more- he'll pick your prayer to answer over someone else's?
And does praying for someone else increase their cred in eternal life? How does it all work?

But I'm not going to say all that to a Believer. Prayers directed at/for me I just interpret as a way to say "I care".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and while I understand the frustration with this phrase I do think its different when it is intimate.

I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first, it took almost a year and a half. And when I had my first baby she was in the NICU for two weeks for complications. I have a friend from Kentucky who told me afterwards that her mom's prayer circle had been praying for me, both to help me get pregnant and for my baby girl's health.

I don't necessarily believe that they had an impact in a material way, but it was a nice warm and full feeling to know that people far away were hoping for and loving us in a way, so they did have an impact in an emotional way. I can't totally knock it.

+1
Prayer doesn't make sense to me. Basically it's begging God to pick you. If you pray harder - adoring and begging him the more- he'll pick your prayer to answer over someone else's?
And does praying for someone else increase their cred in eternal life? How does it all work?

But I'm not going to say all that to a Believer. Prayers directed at/for me I just interpret as a way to say "I care".

Earlier posters have pointed out it’s not about “pick me”. It’s about easing the pain or even making death easier, psychilogically and physically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and while I understand the frustration with this phrase I do think its different when it is intimate.

I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first, it took almost a year and a half. And when I had my first baby she was in the NICU for two weeks for complications. I have a friend from Kentucky who told me afterwards that her mom's prayer circle had been praying for me, both to help me get pregnant and for my baby girl's health.

I don't necessarily believe that they had an impact in a material way, but it was a nice warm and full feeling to know that people far away were hoping for and loving us in a way, so they did have an impact in an emotional way. I can't totally knock it.

+1
Prayer doesn't make sense to me. Basically it's begging God to pick you. If you pray harder - adoring and begging him the more- he'll pick your prayer to answer over someone else's?
And does praying for someone else increase their cred in eternal life? How does it all work?

But I'm not going to say all that to a Believer. Prayers directed at/for me I just interpret as a way to say "I care".

Earlier posters have pointed out it’s not about “pick me”. It’s about easing the pain or even making death easier, psychilogically and physically.

Okay, not the right words. I still don't understand how prayer is the magic that makes it easier. Praying for an easier death is still asking if not begging. Maybe I never will, because to me it's all wishful magical thinking.
Again, I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but caring words work psychologically just as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist and while I understand the frustration with this phrase I do think its different when it is intimate.

I had a very hard time getting pregnant at first, it took almost a year and a half. And when I had my first baby she was in the NICU for two weeks for complications. I have a friend from Kentucky who told me afterwards that her mom's prayer circle had been praying for me, both to help me get pregnant and for my baby girl's health.

I don't necessarily believe that they had an impact in a material way, but it was a nice warm and full feeling to know that people far away were hoping for and loving us in a way, so they did have an impact in an emotional way. I can't totally knock it.

+1
Prayer doesn't make sense to me. Basically it's begging God to pick you. If you pray harder - adoring and begging him the more- he'll pick your prayer to answer over someone else's?
And does praying for someone else increase their cred in eternal life? How does it all work?

But I'm not going to say all that to a Believer. Prayers directed at/for me I just interpret as a way to say "I care".

Earlier posters have pointed out it’s not about “pick me”. It’s about easing the pain or even making death easier, psychilogically and physically.

Okay, not the right words. I still don't understand how prayer is the magic that makes it easier. Praying for an easier death is still asking if not begging. Maybe I never will, because to me it's all wishful magical thinking.
Again, I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but caring words work psychologically just as well.

You be you.

[Anonymous]

When I hear "praying for you", I'm hearing they don't care to get involved and can't be bothered. that reply is just one step up from ignoring the e-mail as if it was never read at all.

While there are some good clergy, and other people of faith, they are human after all. Most look out for themselves above everyone else and don't really care. For clergy, it's just a job. Clergy will leave you dying on the street and stick their nose up in the air. These people of faith will ignore you, fail to keep a promise just like anyone else. In my experience, clergy are the worst offenders of this bad behavior. I think it's a power trip for them. I could not rest at night knowing I intentionally failed another human being who was relying on my word and I left them with severe life-changing consequences. It's pure selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I hear "praying for you", I'm hearing they don't care to get involved and can't be bothered. that reply is just one step up from ignoring the e-mail as if it was never read at all.

While there are some good clergy, and other people of faith, they are human after all. Most look out for themselves above everyone else and don't really care. For clergy, it's just a job. Clergy will leave you dying on the street and stick their nose up in the air. These people of faith will ignore you, fail to keep a promise just like anyone else. In my experience, clergy are the worst offenders of this bad behavior. I think it's a power trip for them. I could not rest at night knowing I intentionally failed another human being who was relying on my word and I left them with severe life-changing consequences. It's pure selfishness.

p.s. there is always some kind of action one can take to help out.