I am South Asian and have always been attracted to White Men. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

They will like him better if he is a PhD or a doctor.

They will like your family better if you are rich or important. Or at least can pretend to be. Maybe your son can let it slip that your family is worth $5 million but live a modest lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

It's actually a good sign that her family even knows about your son. Has he met her family?

Funny you ask. They found out unintentionally pretty early in the relationship, and while I don't have all of the details, dad made it pretty clear to my son that they were opposed to the relationship. They have continued nevertheless - I have no idea what the daughter is or is not telling her parents.

They'll cave. They have to oppose it at first- they would not be good Indian parents if they didn't. Then, once it's determined that the relationship is actually serious and your son wants to marry their daughter not just date ( aka have a good time with her) they'll happily make him part of the family.

Note, this will not happen if you're son is a loser without a good job that doesn't pay enough to support a family. But as long as he's educated and in a respectable profession it will be fine. That doesn't mean he would have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just a good career with a good education so they could have stability in married life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

It's actually a good sign that her family even knows about your son. Has he met her family?

Funny you ask. They found out unintentionally pretty early in the relationship, and while I don't have all of the details, dad made it pretty clear to my son that they were opposed to the relationship. They have continued nevertheless - I have no idea what the daughter is or is not telling her parents.

They'll cave. They have to oppose it at first- they would not be good Indian parents if they didn't. Then, once it's determined that the relationship is actually serious and your son wants to marry their daughter not just date ( aka have a good time with her) they'll happily make him part of the family.

Note, this will not happen if you're son is a loser without a good job that doesn't pay enough to support a family. But as long as he's educated and in a respectable profession it will be fine. That doesn't mean he would have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just a good career with a good education so they could have stability in married life.

They would not be good Indian parents if they were not racist? I'm so glad I wasn't brought up in your messed up culture.
I don't understand immigrants who grow up here and insist their children marry within their race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:South Asian here. Most of the ones who go for whites aren't the best looking...or can't find a desi guy (except imports). A lot of South Indians tend to go for whites.

Competition for the educated American desi guys is fierce and if you're not pretty enough it's not going to cut it. South Asian men are also much pickier than white/black Americans - doesn't make them any better or worse but that's how it goes.

What is desi? Sounds sissy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

It's actually a good sign that her family even knows about your son. Has he met her family?

Funny you ask. They found out unintentionally pretty early in the relationship, and while I don't have all of the details, dad made it pretty clear to my son that they were opposed to the relationship. They have continued nevertheless - I have no idea what the daughter is or is not telling her parents.

They'll cave. They have to oppose it at first- they would not be good Indian parents if they didn't. Then, once it's determined that the relationship is actually serious and your son wants to marry their daughter not just date ( aka have a good time with her) they'll happily make him part of the family.

Note, this will not happen if you're son is a loser without a good job that doesn't pay enough to support a family. But as long as he's educated and in a respectable profession it will be fine. That doesn't mean he would have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just a good career with a good education so they could have stability in married life.

They would not be good Indian parents if they were not racist? I'm so glad I wasn't brought up in your messed up culture.
I don't understand immigrants who grow up here and insist their children marry within their race.

No dingbat.

They would oppose ANY guy that dates their daughter. To them, dating is a frivolous activity that benefits the guy in the relationship more than the girl. Guy gets action without commitment to marriage.

You don't understand when Italians want their kids to marry other Italians or when Jewish people want their kids to marry Jewish people? You must really find those "Christian Mingle" sights offensive. For most Indians, culture, religion, language, and food are all intertwined. It's accepting that loss that is hard for them, not rascism.

But go ahead and be hateful towards non-Eurocentric cultures. I get that's also part of your messed up culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

It's actually a good sign that her family even knows about your son. Has he met her family?

Funny you ask. They found out unintentionally pretty early in the relationship, and while I don't have all of the details, dad made it pretty clear to my son that they were opposed to the relationship. They have continued nevertheless - I have no idea what the daughter is or is not telling her parents.

They'll cave. They have to oppose it at first- they would not be good Indian parents if they didn't. Then, once it's determined that the relationship is actually serious and your son wants to marry their daughter not just date ( aka have a good time with her) they'll happily make him part of the family.

Note, this will not happen if you're son is a loser without a good job that doesn't pay enough to support a family. But as long as he's educated and in a respectable profession it will be fine. That doesn't mean he would have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just a good career with a good education so they could have stability in married life.

They would not be good Indian parents if they were not racist? I'm so glad I wasn't brought up in your messed up culture.
I don't understand immigrants who grow up here and insist their children marry within their race.

No dingbat.

They would oppose ANY guy that dates their daughter. To them, dating is a frivolous activity that benefits the guy in the relationship more than the girl. Guy gets action without commitment to marriage.

You don't understand when Italians want their kids to marry other Italians or when Jewish people want their kids to marry Jewish people? You must really find those "Christian Mingle" sights offensive. For most Indians, culture, religion, language, and food are all intertwined. It's accepting that loss that is hard for them, not rascism.

But go ahead and be hateful towards non-Eurocentric cultures. I get that's also part of your messed up culture.

Yeah whatever. Italians and Jewish people are not nearly as extreme about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (white) son is dating a South Asian woman and I get the impression her family is Not. Happy.

Any tips?

It's actually a good sign that her family even knows about your son. Has he met her family?

Funny you ask. They found out unintentionally pretty early in the relationship, and while I don't have all of the details, dad made it pretty clear to my son that they were opposed to the relationship. They have continued nevertheless - I have no idea what the daughter is or is not telling her parents.

They'll cave. They have to oppose it at first- they would not be good Indian parents if they didn't. Then, once it's determined that the relationship is actually serious and your son wants to marry their daughter not just date ( aka have a good time with her) they'll happily make him part of the family.

Note, this will not happen if you're son is a loser without a good job that doesn't pay enough to support a family. But as long as he's educated and in a respectable profession it will be fine. That doesn't mean he would have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just a good career with a good education so they could have stability in married life.

They would not be good Indian parents if they were not racist? I'm so glad I wasn't brought up in your messed up culture.
I don't understand immigrants who grow up here and insist their children marry within their race.

No dingbat.

They would oppose ANY guy that dates their daughter. To them, dating is a frivolous activity that benefits the guy in the relationship more than the girl. Guy gets action without commitment to marriage.

You don't understand when Italians want their kids to marry other Italians or when Jewish people want their kids to marry Jewish people? You must really find those "Christian Mingle" sights offensive. For most Indians, culture, religion, language, and food are all intertwined. It's accepting that loss that is hard for them, not rascism.

But go ahead and be hateful towards non-Eurocentric cultures. I get that's also part of your messed up culture.

Yeah whatever. Italians and Jewish people are not nearly as extreme about this.

Really? Even when they were 1st generation Americans?

Way to whitewash.

[Anonymous]

OP do you look like Mindy Kaling?

[Anonymous]

Most white men don't want to date you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most white men don't want to date you.

I think most people marry within their race but posts like this annoy me bc nobody cares.

I'm a south Asian woman who tried finding a South Asian guy for about 5 years. Went on lots of semi blind dates, meeting people through friends and family etc and so on. I started looking for a husband around 24, knew I wanted someone who shared the same background etc. Crickets from the guys...I'd meet a guy for a few times and would never hear back. Mind you most of these men were meeting several woman through similar match makers and I never made the cut (or they had partners that their parents didn't approve of and went on these meetings to placate their parents). Either way it really sucked. This does matter somewhat but I had clear skin, 120lbs at 5'7 (working out and dieting constantly) and not excessively hairy or dark (skin color is a thing with us). Good manners would let the guy take the lead and chaste (another thing with us). Also had a masters and a good job.

This lasted a good while before I tired of the rejection. Found my husband (who's Italian and Greek) in a few months. Maybe white guys don't want to date us but they're a helluva lot less picky!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most white men don't want to date you.

George Clooney and I disagree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most white men don't want to date you.

I think most people marry within their race but posts like this annoy me bc nobody cares.

I'm a south Asian woman who tried finding a South Asian guy for about 5 years. Went on lots of semi blind dates, meeting people through friends and family etc and so on. I started looking for a husband around 24, knew I wanted someone who shared the same background etc. Crickets from the guys...I'd meet a guy for a few times and would never hear back. Mind you most of these men were meeting several woman through similar match makers and I never made the cut (or they had partners that their parents didn't approve of and went on these meetings to placate their parents). Either way it really sucked. This does matter somewhat but I had clear skin, 120lbs at 5'7 (working out and dieting constantly) and not excessively hairy or dark (skin color is a thing with us). Good manners would let the guy take the lead and chaste (another thing with us). Also had a masters and a good job.

This lasted a good while before I tired of the rejection. Found my husband (who's Italian and Greek) in a few months. Maybe white guys don't want to date us but they're a helluva lot less picky!

I'm sorry the PP said that, and I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. You sound really hot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No dingbat.

They would oppose ANY guy that dates their daughter. To them, dating is a frivolous activity that benefits the guy in the relationship more than the girl. Guy gets action without commitment to marriage.

You don't understand when Italians want their kids to marry other Italians or when Jewish people want their kids to marry Jewish people? You must really find those "Christian Mingle" sights offensive. For most Indians, culture, religion, language, and food are all intertwined. It's accepting that loss that is hard for them, not rascism.

But go ahead and be hateful towards non-Eurocentric cultures. I get that's also part of your messed up culture.

That's just it. I've been married to an Indian for decades. "Their" culture is messed up, and "our" culture is messed up. Just in different ways. Criticizing another culture isn't necessarily racist or hateful. Plenty of Indians dislike one aspect or another of their culture, just like Americans.

Specifically about Italians, it's the most backward part of that immigrant culture which opposes marriage outside of the village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:South Asian here. Most of the ones who go for whites aren't the best looking...or can't find a desi guy (except imports). A lot of South Indians tend to go for whites.

Competition for the educated American desi guys is fierce and if you're not pretty enough it's not going to cut it. South Asian men are also much pickier than white/black Americans - doesn't make them any better or worse but that's how it goes.

What is desi? Sounds sissy.

Pronounced Day-see. It means "local" or "down home". So an Indian is a local in India, but they carry that nickname with them abroad. It can also be an adjective for things like clothes or food. "Desi rice" is plain old rice, that you would find in a village.

"Desi Fever" (also known as Mango Fever) is a term for attraction of a non-desi (usually white) to an Indian.

[Anonymous]

No one cares.