Husband's family is ALWAYS late

[Anonymous]

I'm a white American but have been living in Latin America for several years. If a kid's birthday is supposed to start at 2 pm, it's just getting rolling by 4 pm. Who cares? You just adjust your expectations: show up late to social occasions, don't rely on people for time-sensitive favors (like babysitting or moving), and don't agree to meet people out if it's going to annoy you to sit around at a restaurant by yourself. Instead, just leave together from your house or show up late yourself. Bring a book and a fully charged phone. If you really need to be out of a restaurant, say, by 2 pm, just let people know and go ahead and eat. Tell people the party starts at "gringo time" with a twinkle in your eye.

OP: Being late and being lazy are two totally different things. Just because someone is habitually late doesn't mean she's lazy.

[Anonymous]

Very similar dynamic with my SIL and her family. She and her DH was two hours late to their own rehearsal dinner! All of their family and friends took a shuttle from the church wedding rehearsal to the venue and she went home to 'freshen up' and had instructed the country club not to serve the food until she got there. Hours and hours of my life spent waiting for her, she blames it on being South American and that's just how she was raised and it's not a big deal to have 50 people standing around starving until 9:30pm. I eventually learned my lesson and never wait for her. My kids and I were ready to go to the theme park, she just needed a few minutes for a quick shower. Instead of waiting, we took separate cars and paid double parking, but it was worth it because they showed up 3 hours late. I still get infuriated when she still ends up ruining plans, but at least it's less often. This Christmas we got all the kids together the weekend before the celebrate. We got to the restaurant on time and had already eaten by the time they showed up. Went to her house, where we were staying, to open up presents, to find they hadn't even started wrapping! My poor kids melting down and waiting until 11pm. No big deal because her kids would sleep till noon the next day while mine get up at 6. Such disrespect for other people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Irish Catholic parents were supposed to be here for lunch today. I texted them at 11 to get an ETA. "Oh, we won't be there until dinner!" WTF? And apparently weren't planning on telling me this major change in plans. Sadly typical for them.

Did you tell them you weren't available for dinner, only lunch? Even beloved parents need boundaries reinforced if they continually ignore them. You have your own household now.

Unfortunately, they're coming to stay for a week long visit. They showed up just before 5 pm.

It's gonna be a loooooong week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Irish Catholic parents were supposed to be here for lunch today. I texted them at 11 to get an ETA. "Oh, we won't be there until dinner!" WTF? And apparently weren't planning on telling me this major change in plans. Sadly typical for them.

Did you tell them you weren't available for dinner, only lunch? Even beloved parents need boundaries reinforced if they continually ignore them. You have your own household now.

Unfortunately, they're coming to stay for a week long visit. They showed up just before 5 pm.

It's gonna be a loooooong week.

You have my sympathy. Not a great way to begin a visit.

[Anonymous]

My non-Latino aunt is the same way. We just stopped waiting for her, or we lie about what time things start. She would show up hours late for Thanksgiving dinner, and expected us to wait for her. We stopped waiting for her. We start eating without her if she's not on time for a meal. She showed up so late to my wedding that she missed the whole ceremony (and I had a Catholic ceremony). Her kids are like that, too. We just don't depend on them for anything. And they miss stuff because of it, but we don't all go crazy waiting for them.