Boyfriend Still Pining for Wife

[Anonymous]

*her shadow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he isn't ready yet in his grieving process to let another woman become too important to him. He sounds loyal, so maybe it's a matter of time. And when you lose your life partner, you have to feel strong enough to feel vulnerable again.

So do this, OP: Don't be as available to him. Let him miss you. See other men. If he's ready for you, he'll realize it and let you know. Meanwhile, you get on with your life in a positive way.

Play head games? Why not have an adult conversation?

It's not really head games. It's more of a hint about a healthy way for OP to get on with her life. Marrying a widower is not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

First of all a man posting on Facebook is a red flag to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Interestingly enough he doesn't actually post on FB. There are no status updates or b-day wishes to anyone. Just tons of pics of the former wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough he doesn't actually post on FB. There are no status updates or b-day wishes to anyone. Just tons of pics of the former wife.

She's not a former wife, she's a late wife. There's a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the one living loving and screwing him that he needs to honor!

No one is saying forget she existed. At some point ppl must move on.

No. You don't get it either. Damn there are people on this thread who are clueless about grief and love.

[Anonymous]

OP - the dude sounds like he is still grieving. Maybe you two need some time off until he is mentally ready to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - the dude sounds like he is still grieving. Maybe you two need some time off until he is mentally ready to move on.

How many times do we have to say this? Grieving a spouse/child/parent is a lifetime thing. It ends when you die yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't love a new partner, a subsequent child or a step parent. It just means you miss the person who died always. How is this complicated to understand?

[Anonymous]

As a widow (who was married to a widower that passed almost 2 years ago), they never forget about their first love...even to the end he still loved and passed almost to the day of her 13th anniversary of going to heaven...you can't rush grief. Either decide to be with him and understand or walk away esp since their are kids involved. Maybe talk to him about it before making a decision. Anyway, praying for you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - the dude sounds like he is still grieving. Maybe you two need some time off until he is mentally ready to move on.

How many times do we have to say this? Grieving a spouse/child/parent is a lifetime thing. It ends when you die yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't love a new partner, a subsequent child or a step parent. It just means you miss the person who died always. How is this complicated to understand?

Maybe people grieve differently. Is that hard for you to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - the dude sounds like he is still grieving. Maybe you two need some time off until he is mentally ready to move on.

How many times do we have to say this? Grieving a spouse/child/parent is a lifetime thing. It ends when you die yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't love a new partner, a subsequent child or a step parent. It just means you miss the person who died always. How is this complicated to understand?

Maybe people grieve differently. Is that hard for you to understand?

Yes people grieve differently but you're implying there's a right and a wrong way to grieve. You're implying people who don't stop grieving and don't move on are doing it wrong. There's no right or wrong way. If OP can't live with the way boyfriend grieves, OP needs to break up with him.

[Anonymous]

Ask him to make an Instagram account and post pictures with you there. Nobody looks at Facebook anymore. Let it be a tribute page for his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - the dude sounds like he is still grieving. Maybe you two need some time off until he is mentally ready to move on.

How many times do we have to say this? Grieving a spouse/child/parent is a lifetime thing. It ends when you die yourself. It doesn't mean that you can't love a new partner, a subsequent child or a step parent. It just means you miss the person who died always. How is this complicated to understand?

Maybe people grieve differently. Is that hard for you to understand?

Yes people grieve differently but you're implying there's a right and a wrong way to grieve. You're implying people who don't stop grieving and don't move on are doing it wrong. There's no right or wrong way. If OP can't live with the way boyfriend grieves, OP needs to break up with him.

I am not implying anything. Just pointing out people grieve differently and OP to consider the possibility that he may not be ready yet.