How to get through MIL visits

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again asking for your opinion. This time it's a round of...is DH being clueless or vindictive?

I had a little meltdown yesterday to him when we were alone (not only did I just get my period but our dog has suddenly developed some scary health problems which has made me more emotional than normal) and explained that I just need a little time to myself each day. He also confided that he was getting annoyed with spending so much time with his mom as well.

Anyway, I've been doing things like going to bed early, doing laundry at various times during the day, showering at night etc. This is different than my typical routine. DH has been calling me out every time in front of his mom. If I say I'm tired and going to bed early he'll say "wow, Larla, you never go to bed before 11 on a weekend" or "Larla, what a treat that you're being so conscientious about laundry all of a sudden" or "Larla, that's a good idea to shower at night--if you make it a habit it might save you some time in the mornings."

He's making it very clear to MIL that all of these things are not my typical habits and I'm just trying to get away. I did tell him specifically that if I said I was going to do something that sounded weird to him that he should just go with the flow. However, this is the same man who, when I spell a word I don't want DS to understand, says the word out loud that I'm spelling.

What do you think--clueless or vindictive?



He doesn't want to spend time with her, and he's projecting that onto you.

I swear to you, this is what I would do: Turn around, and very calmly and clearly say, "You are right, Jim, this is not my usual routine. I need some alone time to myself, and that's why I'm taking a shower and turning in early. Good night."


This x 1000. It doesn't matter whether he's being clueless or vindictive. Just focus on THIS being your response. Every.single.time.
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