7 and 5 year old. Would you have another one in my situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

It's fine if you're comfortable with being AMA and having kids in college when you become eligible for Medicare - I am not.

A person would need to have a baby at 44 to have a child in college when he/she became eligible for Medicare.

My DH was 46 with our last baby.

[Anonymous]

Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

[Anonymous]

In your situation I would do it, and I'm really glad that my parents did - I'm a third with siblings 5 and 7 years older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

I'm the PP with an 8 and 1-yo. We were really young when we had our first, I worked from home for the first 6 months and we struggled a bit. I realized I needed to work full time and got a nanny at 6 months, then I really got settled in my career around the time my first was 1... I was 25. We made huge strides in our careers (more so my DH) and really felt comfortable to try again when I was 28-ish. It took me a well over a year to get pregnant and I had so many regrets and fears that with my now 1-yo I cherished it BIG TIME. Now trying for a third and I don't know how I will approach this baby's first year. I just started in a new line of work and we are thinking about relocating, so that will determine a lot. Thankfully, we have a nice nest egg saved up for if we need it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

It's fine if you're comfortable with being AMA and having kids in college when you become eligible for Medicare - I am not.

A person would need to have a baby at 44 to have a child in college when he/she became eligible for Medicare.

why is this so bad again?

I'm sure it's fine for some folks to be nearly 60 with teenagers. It just isn't for me. Not assigning a global value to it - just saying that wasn't what I wanted for myself. So I had kids earlier, and the odds are I'll get to enjoy them for longer since I had them at 28, 30, and 32, than if I had waited until 37, 39, and 41.

Honest question...how do you know it's not for you when you've never lived it?

Kind of like how I knew I didn't want to have kids at 16 and drop out of high school. Fine for some folks, not what I wanted for my life.

NP. You are a smug jerk.

Honest question...how so?

The granny-moms are bitter that you met your DH/got married/had kids earlier.

[Anonymous]

Part of it would be your personality. If you are flexible and adaptable and go with the flow, it can work fine. You can wear baby to various after school activities and lug baby around to things the older kids enjoy.

If you are more structure / rigid - going to want baby on a perfect schedule, be home to nap everyday, have the house quiet so baby can sleep...then I would say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you and DH?

Yeah, everything else sounds fine for going for a third, but your ages are a big factor here.

I'm the pp who is 39 (husband is 6 months younger so basically same age). Out of curiosity what would you think would be the cutoff? I feel like we are on the brink (not having another for other additional reasons).

I would avoid being AMA. I would still get pregnant at 34 and deliver at 35, but I can't imagine going beyond that. That's just me, though, I know a lot of people feel differently.

I hear that the day you turn 35, your uterus either spontaneously explodes OR if you're lucky enough that doesn't happen, you give birth to an exploding baby.

Very, very dangerous situation. Avoid at all costs.

It's fine if you're comfortable with being AMA and having kids in college when you become eligible for Medicare - I am not.

A person would need to have a baby at 44 to have a child in college when he/she became eligible for Medicare.

why is this so bad again?

I'm sure it's fine for some folks to be nearly 60 with teenagers. It just isn't for me. Not assigning a global value to it - just saying that wasn't what I wanted for myself. So I had kids earlier, and the odds are I'll get to enjoy them for longer since I had them at 28, 30, and 32, than if I had waited until 37, 39, and 41.

Honest question...how do you know it's not for you when you've never lived it?

Kind of like how I knew I didn't want to have kids at 16 and drop out of high school. Fine for some folks, not what I wanted for my life.

NP. You are a smug jerk.

Honest question...how so?

The granny-moms are bitter that you met your DH/got married/had kids earlier.

Neither of you are contributing anything of substance here, so please shut up.

[Anonymous]

Age gap could turn out fine. My DH has 2 brothers with age gaps of 5 years and 9 years between oldest and youngest. They are oh so tight.They all have good jobs and their own family but they still hang out frequently. They go on trips, just the three brothers.

[Anonymous]

Time dealing with a baby until they are kind of independent: 3- 4 years. Plus 9 months of pregnancy which was hellish for me. It's not just naps. A 4 year old still needs to be taken to restrooms when we are out, mine still needs her 90 min nap at 4 and a half years, she still comes home from daycare with poo streaks in her panties once in a while. She still needs so much attention and help I feel our second child (toddler age) gets shafted in the Mom attention category. Splitting up quality time between 3 v 2 v 1 is real.

Time spent regretting not having a third: how often do you anticipate this will be, OP? It can't amount to 4 years worth, can it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

I had several friends who had a 3rd when their first two were in ES and it did seem like a lot of fun. The older kids were delighted with their baby. It was such a different experience than being in the trenches with two kids in the baby/toddler/preschool years. I have two close in age and would have loved to have a third when they were older but as it is, DH will be retirement age when our youngest finishes college so no 'bonus baby' for us.

I think OP should go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

I had several friends who had a 3rd when their first two were in ES and it did seem like a lot of fun. The older kids were delighted with their baby. It was such a different experience than being in the trenches with two kids in the baby/toddler/preschool years. I have two close in age and would have loved to have a third when they were older but as it is, DH will be retirement age when our youngest finishes college so no 'bonus baby' for us.

I think OP should go for it.

I have observed this same dynamic with several families too. Everyone adores the third child, who is doted on by the older siblings and kind of just goes with the flow with what's going on with the rest of the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

I had several friends who had a 3rd when their first two were in ES and it did seem like a lot of fun. The older kids were delighted with their baby. It was such a different experience than being in the trenches with two kids in the baby/toddler/preschool years. I have two close in age and would have loved to have a third when they were older but as it is, DH will be retirement age when our youngest finishes college so no 'bonus baby' for us.

I think OP should go for it.

I have observed this same dynamic with several families too. Everyone adores the third child, who is doted on by the older siblings and kind of just goes with the flow with what's going on with the rest of the family.

Just to offer a counter perspective - we had a similar gap in my family. It would have been a lot easier if my parents had stopped at two. Having the youngest ruined the family dynamic and causes issues to this day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

My bff just had her 3rd, so the kids are 8, 6, and 6 months. The 3rd is a terrible sleeper and things are really hard for her right now. It's not fun. Plus, 6 yo has soccer, and 8 yo has dance, and baby needs to sleep, and DH works long hours. She's been complaining a lot to me. But, I think a lot of her complaints are just newborn baby complaints, and the baby will grow out of it. Still, the logistics of 3 is really hard. Just to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you think that this third baby will be your "fun baby"? That's how I'd imagine it being for me. You've been there, done that, and aren't planning on any more, so will cherish the time with this little one.

I had several friends who had a 3rd when their first two were in ES and it did seem like a lot of fun. The older kids were delighted with their baby. It was such a different experience than being in the trenches with two kids in the baby/toddler/preschool years. I have two close in age and would have loved to have a third when they were older but as it is, DH will be retirement age when our youngest finishes college so no 'bonus baby' for us.

I think OP should go for it.

I have observed this same dynamic with several families too. Everyone adores the third child, who is doted on by the older siblings and kind of just goes with the flow with what's going on with the rest of the family.

I'm seeing this too but I actually see a lot of dragging the littlest one around, baby sweltering in an Ergo because mom has to be at soccer practice since Dad is with the other one at hockey, etc. I think there's adoration, but there's also shafting.