Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?

[Anonymous]

No. It never turns out "ok".


That's the whole point of marrying a high-earner. So you don't have to worry about stuff like that. Life is too short to be poor.

[Anonymous]

neither one of us made more than 125K a year is that low? right now almost 7 figures in 401Ks, 2 pensions that total will be 7k per month, 5k Social security ( projected monthly) and another 300K which is a combo of savings and home equity. Should be retired at 60 in 11 yrs on like 16K per month feels ok to me

[Anonymous]

I moved in with DH after he'd been laid off and was living off savings while repositioning himself for a new job. I guess that counts as low earning.

But, he was financially conservative (had enough savings to implement his plan, and no debt), and had a plan. By the time we got married a couple years later, he was earning about 80K. Still low earning? Now he's about 150, and I'm the same, so we are quite comfortable.

Key is that we had similar financial goals, both tend to save rather than spend or acrrue debt, and are both contributors to household finances. Doesn't sound like any of those are true for you two. So it worked out for me, but ymmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

He tripled his income thus far, via additional school work and being a hard worker. He was an admin assistant with a degree in East Asian religion, but ended up as a systems administrator within 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

He tripled his income thus far, via additional school work and being a hard worker. He was an admin assistant with a degree in East Asian religion, but ended up as a systems administrator within 10 years.

Is this OP?

Why aren't you answering the questions on this thread about you and your earning power?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

Judge him by the efforts he makes climbing the latter.
If he is "thirsty" to succeed, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

He tripled his income thus far, via additional school work and being a hard worker. He was an admin assistant with a degree in East Asian religion, but ended up as a systems administrator within 10 years.

Is this OP?

Why aren't you answering the questions on this thread about you and your earning power?

NP. OP did answer those questions upthread:

I am currently between jobs as I was recently let go. I do not earn very much and did not focus on making a ton thinking it would fall on my husband when I eventually married.

I'd like a decent UMC lifestyle with 2 children. I realize with this man that seems out of the question. We will probably live a stressed out paycheck to paycheck life with maybe 1 kid?

[Anonymous]

Makes me wonder how we are raising our girls, if a 29 year old woman has so little ambition and so much entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Get premarital counseling and work out all the issues *before* you get married! This can work out, but you both have to agree to the standard of living you will have without resenting the other. If you are both savers that will help, but if one loves to spend and has to keep up with the Jones' while the other is working or doing all the saving, that will be a problem.

Finances are one of the top reasons that lead people to divorce, so this is a significant issue to pay attention to and discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to marry a man I love very much but I am concerned about the fact that he doesn't not earn a lot of money. I do not think this is a big deal but I want to go in with eyes wide open about what this means for us as a family. Can anyone tell me its going to be okay?

He tripled his income thus far, via additional school work and being a hard worker. He was an admin assistant with a degree in East Asian religion, but ended up as a systems administrator within 10 years.

Is this OP?

Why aren't you answering the questions on this thread about you and your earning power?

NP. OP did answer those questions upthread:

I am currently between jobs as I was recently let go. I do not earn very much and did not focus on making a ton thinking it would fall on my husband when I eventually married.

I'd like a decent UMC lifestyle with 2 children. I realize with this man that seems out of the question. We will probably live a stressed out paycheck to paycheck life with maybe 1 kid?

The questions for OP that I am referring to are:

Why did you think you were/are exempt from supporting a family? You say you want a "decent UMC lifestyle with 2 children." Why didn't you make a plan for this yourself?[i]

[Anonymous]

25 years ago. HHI was 35K. My DH was a low-earner and I could not work - because of visa restrictions. I was a hard worker and ran the house on a budget of 1 K (excluding mortgage). I cooked from scratch and we were hosting many dinners and parties even then. No savings. 25 years later we are quite affluent. I run the house (including mortgage) on 10K.

It worked out great. My DH is an old-fashioned man and would not touch my earnings. His money is our money and my money is mine. I ended up with a cushy retirement account and retired in my early 40s.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry him! He obviously makes bad decisions...he's with you.

[Anonymous]

Why did you bother dating someone who you think is a low earner if you seem to have made up your mind that you don't want to work? That wasn't very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Makes me wonder how we are raising our girls, if a 29 year old woman has so little ambition and so much entitlement.

Errr ... do you SEE the posts from some of the SAHMs on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What % of women really think like OP?

Probably about the same % of men who want a woman who is in shape. It's not fair but I think there is definitely evolutionary drive to want a husband who can support you or woman who is young and fit. I am not fit and my husband is not a high earner, so I have no dog in this fight. We are happy without these things, but I don't fault anyone for wanting it.

This mentality is common to women from areas that have high levels of income inequality. It seems like things will only get worse. In extreme cases (other cultures/eras), societies have a small number of powerful males who control everything, including women. Lower class males are simply cast out, or killed off. A modern example is fundamentalist Latter Day Saints.