Venting: you have treated your kids like kings since birth, now you wonder why he is so spoiled???

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

This applies to most Asian, Indian and African cultures to be honest.

You are yet to meet a single African child, am I right?
They're the exact opposite.

Agree. The African children I know are respectful.

Maybe, but specifically Ethiopians are often very lax with giving kids boundaries

Most of my African students have parents who are ON them. I had a problem with a Nigerian boy who didn't respect women, however. They switched him out of my class and gave him to a male teacher b/c I refused to cater to him. But he was an anomaly.

I was a volunteer in West Africa for several years and have to say, children (boys and girls) are much better behaved in those cultures than in the US. I was shocked to see how kids behave when I moved back to the DC area! Kids in these countries are expected to help at home and show respect to their parents and other adults. If they get to go to school (not a given), they are grateful for the opportunity and respectful to teachers and fellow classmates. Parents do tend to practice corporal punishment, which I'm not comfortable with, but oftentimes if a kid is starting to show early signs of misbehaving, all a parent needs to do is pick up a stick and the kid gets the message. It does seem like we overindulge kids in the US and have a lot more rotten behavior to show for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have neighbors who used to be good friends, however they raised their 8-yr-old girl so entitled she is a raging bully and now runs the family! They never say no to her and she gets whatever she wants. I actually witnessed her punching her father in the face! ...and he did NOTHING about it.

I avoid them like the plague now.

A good friend's daughter is very poorly behaved, she's the only child and totally dominates her parents. I saw her snack her mother in the face one time and I was aghast that she didn't get sent to her room or punished. Her mom just kind of took it.

We have found it difficult to find other families we enjoy spending time with because so many people don't seem to have the same standards for discipline that we do. But we have always been willing to do the hard work on the front end to reap the benefits later on. I think a lot of parents are just lazy and find it easier to just let their kids do whatever rather than enforce some order.

My kids have had their moments for sure but if we see some behavior we don't like we say or do something about it. It drives me. It's to see parents who are oblivious to their kids' poor behavior.

[Anonymous]

Sorry ^^ typo - I meant SMACK ?

[Anonymous]

OP, I told my first born "no" plenty and s/he still had meltdowns. Some kids are harder to raise than others.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

Yes, lets make this all about being an Indian boy.

Absolutely. This is never an issue for white children, especially boys!

I hope this is sarcasm. I have an 8 and 10 year olds and there are a few kids that aren't allowed over because they are unholy brats. I have even had a friend insinuate my children were not bright because they behave!! This is a common theme in NWDC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a restaurant where the parents were letting their kids roam and run. Twice two different waiters asked them to return to their seats so they didn't get stepped or spilled on. Finally the manager (I believe) asked the parents to reign them in. Their response? We don't believe in saying "no" as we like to let them self-regulate. WTF kind of nonsense BS is that? 3-6 year olds can't self-regulate! He told them the kids would need to remain seated or they'd need to leave as it was a hazard. The mom literally went to the kids and said, "that man says you must sit in your seats, so let's go. Tell him you're upset with this not me!"

I have a friend who is an ES school teacher and she said most kids today have never heard "no." They also talk back much more than kids did years ago, according to her. They've been brought up to think they're the best and most important.

This is such BS. Of course most kids have heard "no". Your friend is, like members of every generation before her, someone who likes to be crotchety about the next generation. Our parents' generation thought we were spoiled brats, their parents thought they were spoiled brats. The first kids who got to live in a house instead of a cave were spoiled brats. There have always been some terrible parents. There always will be. Honestly, I'd be more inclined to argue that kids of yesteryear were more inclined to be little shits. Think about it: this concept of obsessive parenting is fairly new. 50 years ago, parents didn't give a shit about parenting or teaching lessons. They cared about kids surviving. Sure, that meant yelling "no" more to make sure your kid didn't do something that killed them. But when you had people living in one-room thatch homes with 6 kids, manning the fields for their very survival, do you think anyone was actively teaching their kids manners? Sure, there was an upper class contingency in Victorian times that would have stressed this. But that wouldn't have been the norm. Stop romanticizing the past.

NP. Pp, you're dead wrong. I am not romanticizing the past, ai lived it. We were totally better behaved in the days of school prayer and parents and teachers hitting kids. Why? Because there were consequences to our behavior and EVEN our choice of words. Was it pleasant? No. Did I hit my kid? No. But my kid was NOT raised in a permissive household and NEVER pulled the shit the kids get away with. He was/is a model citizen and you seem to have romanticized that the present is like the past. Not! Didn't happen that way and I was there as luving proof.

[Anonymous]

^living proof