Venting: you have treated your kids like kings since birth, now you wonder why he is so spoiled???

[Anonymous]

I have been telling my 6 yo child no about things for years and years. In public she is mostly well behaved but every now and then something like this total meltdown does happen. I am always flummoxed.

[Anonymous]

There were some parents at the Gaithersburg airport restaurant and the kids were horrors. When I Finally had to speak up and tell them to ask the kids to stop screaming and get out of my purse (!), she acted like it was a crazy request. "But they're just kids and are having fun." And treated me as if I didn't know how to parent.. It wasn't until I said, "oh I'm a parent too, but as a parent you have to use your words and communicate your expectations" that she even noticed there was a kid at my table too! I should've told my son to scream in her ear and root theough her purse and see how she liked it. Honestly, if there were not poeople in the restaurant who I knew, I think she would have been wearing either my drink or my handprint, because it was clear that she was as spoiled as her kids. It was enraging to see such self centered behavior. Thank god the table of people I knew was reason for me to keep my cool.

Can you top that one? Let's hear tour experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

This applies to most Asian, Indian and African cultures to be honest.

I'd say this apples to raising of boys anywhere, everywhere, to be honest (for the most part).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

This applies to most Asian, Indian and African cultures to be honest.

I'd say this apples to raising of boys anywhere, everywhere, to be honest (for the most part).

To add: My sister says the same thing - Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. She is none of the above, and her son is the most spoiled, entitled, badly behaved kid I know. It's easier to cast blame on "other" groups as a problem, as a distraction from your own mistakes.

[Anonymous]

I have neighbors who used to be good friends, however they raised their 8-yr-old girl so entitled she is a raging bully and now runs the family! They never say no to her and she gets whatever she wants. I actually witnessed her punching her father in the face! ...and he did NOTHING about it.

I avoid them like the plague now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, children of this generation don't respect anything - nice thingns, places of business, other people dining in restaurants, quiet places, etc.

If you aren't going to use "no" at least teach respect. For example, if my children are misbehaving in any store I say "this is a place of business, people work here, you need to show some respect."
If we are in someone's house "they work hard to keep their house nice, treat their home and their thing with respect."
At the library, "people here are trying to learn, study, enjoy their books, don't yell and run through like it's your playroom."

In general, parents of young children think the world belongs to them. They are entitled and selfish. I didnt and don't parent that way. Even. Three year old can understand these concepts, the fact a seven year old doesn't is just sad.

Yes this. I am sympathetic to a young child crying in church, or a tired toddler throwing a tantrum. I have no sympathy for your 4-5 year olds running through the library screaming. It's not cute, it's obnoxious and makes everyone hate your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

Yes, lets make this all about being an Indian boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were some parents at the Gaithersburg airport restaurant and the kids were horrors. When I Finally had to speak up and tell them to ask the kids to stop screaming and get out of my purse (!), she acted like it was a crazy request. "But they're just kids and are having fun." And treated me as if I didn't know how to parent.. It wasn't until I said, "oh I'm a parent too, but as a parent you have to use your words and communicate your expectations" that she even noticed there was a kid at my table too! I should've told my son to scream in her ear and root theough her purse and see how she liked it. Honestly, if there were not poeople in the restaurant who I knew, I think she would have been wearing either my drink or my handprint, because it was clear that she was as spoiled as her kids. It was enraging to see such self centered behavior. Thank god the table of people I knew was reason for me to keep my cool.

Can you top that one? Let's hear tour experiences.

A family friend wouldn't discipline her son for peeing on floors and walls. He was 6 and old enough to know better. Whenever he felt like it, wherever he was, he pulled down his pants and peed.

Mom was awful, one time we threw away her son's half-drank drink that had been sitting in a hot car all day and she completely flipped out. Apparently he may have later wanted a hot drink full of bacteria.

Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have neighbors who used to be good friends, however they raised their 8-yr-old girl so entitled she is a raging bully and now runs the family! They never say no to her and she gets whatever she wants. I actually witnessed her punching her father in the face! ...and he did NOTHING about it.

I avoid them like the plague now.

I saw this happen to a family member. The kid punched the mom square on the jaw and the mom reached down and sid "yes, my love?" I think the kid has some special needs, but they are. Ever discussed. It was really awful to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cultural? Boys? Are they Indian?

Yes, lets make this all about being an Indian boy.

Absolutely. This is never an issue for white children, especially boys!

[Anonymous]

Stop being friends with this woman. You clearly don't respect her, her life decisions, and you're calling his kids "little shits." You're not a real friend to this woman, so stop pretending.

[Anonymous]

I admit I spoiled my kids their whole lives and now they take everything I do for them as adults for granted.

If I could, I would have been much more strict as they now do not seem grateful for all I do.

They've always lived on Easy Street.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand moms who let their kids act like brats and think it is okay. Working moms are like this a lot, they feel guilty that they aren't about as much and so they allow their child to act up and treat them like kings/queens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand moms who let their kids act like brats and think it is okay. Working moms are like this a lot, they feel guilty that they aren't about as much and so they allow their child to act up and treat them like kings/queens

It's funny. I think it is much more a sahm thing. These women who think their children are such amazingly important snowflakes that the moms had to literally quit their jobs to devote their lives to their precious well being, because heaven forbid mom have any focus other than her child. And then wonder why the kid is spoiled.

But frankly as a general matter, I think the kids/families OP describes are few and far between. I think lots of kids are fundamentally more challenging than other kids. Lots of parents with easy kids like to judge the parents of those other kids. I also have lots of friends with kids who have their own intolerable traits (maybe not meltdowns at the word "no", but other stuff) but those parents don't see their own kids' intolerable traits. Just the other kids. Also, when you have a kid who is wired to be the kid climbing up bookshelves, chances are their parents have been yelling and telling those kids "no" almost non stop since birth. And you know what? Saying 'no' has zero effect on some kids. Disciplining has zero effect on some kids. Some kids are crazy.

[Anonymous]

I was in a restaurant where the parents were letting their kids roam and run. Twice two different waiters asked them to return to their seats so they didn't get stepped or spilled on. Finally the manager (I believe) asked the parents to reign them in. Their response? We don't believe in saying "no" as we like to let them self-regulate. WTF kind of nonsense BS is that? 3-6 year olds can't self-regulate! He told them the kids would need to remain seated or they'd need to leave as it was a hazard. The mom literally went to the kids and said, "that man says you must sit in your seats, so let's go. Tell him you're upset with this not me!"

I have a friend who is an ES school teacher and she said most kids today have never heard "no." They also talk back much more than kids did years ago, according to her. They've been brought up to think they're the best and most important.