Would You Sever This Friendship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why you invited them in the first place.
But I would ditch this friendship.

Because she said that her church has a seder, and she found it interesting. I thought she was indicating that she'd enjoy experiencing a Jewish, traditional Seder. (Of course, she was free to turn the invitation down.)

Any Christian church that has a seder is an evangelical church committed to proselytizing, and may even be one of the churches that believes salvation will come when all Jews accept Jesus and/or move to Israel.

Be very wary of Christians who practice Jewish rituals (as opposed to being part of an interfaith network of Christians and Jews) -- they almost always are going to be part of churches that do active testimony and proselytizing.

You might want to post this in the Religion forum, where I suspect other people, including other Christians (I'm Jewish) will back me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am putting on my shoes and leaving the house now. I am going out to look for a new Christian friend!

Thanks again, everyone.

I'd be your friend OP. And respect your belief.

- A believer in a Christ, and a respecter of other faiths.

OP here, and thanks. You sound like someone I'd like to have a friend!

[Anonymous]

If someone invited me to their religious ceremony, I would invite them to mine. I don't think that was out of line and that exchange could be beneficial to both. The bit about heaven and evangelizing is crossing the line though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YOU invited them to a religion event BUT then YOU are offended when THEY invite YOU to their religious event.

Why are YOU so intolerant of other perspectives?
They were nice and respectful at your event. Why are you UNWILLING to attend their event?

The way YOU interpreted of felt about his question is YOUR problem. YOU interpreted his question according to YOUR internal barometer. In your own original post you said that YOU took his comment a certain way. He did not actually disparage your religion. You just assumed that is was his intention.

Moreover. even if he doesn't believe your religion and think you need to be Christian. Isn't that a statement that he is concerned about your well being? Why can't you just take the invitation as him reaching out to you. He merely reciprocated your invitation with his own.

OP here, and I'm not sure I should even give you the courtesy of a response - what with your YOU and YOUR and UNWILLING and a generally attacking attitude. But I will:

1) I am not intolerant of other perspectives. That's why I have friends of all religions - Christian, Muslim, Hindu, and plenty of atheists, too. To each his own, I say, as long as they are respectful of others' beliefs.

2) And YOU don't think he disparaged my religion? I invited him to one of the most important Jewish ceremonies of the year, and five minutes after it's over.....he basically says that if I don't abandon the religion he just observed, I will go to Hell. He didn't say, as another poster remarked, "hey, thanks for a lovely evening. Would you be interested in coming to one of my church services?" I would have taken that as reciprocity (in his mind). But he didn't start out that way....he started out by letting me know that he thinks I'm destined for Hell. Nice.

3) The reason I say "in his mind" (in #2 above), is because the invitation isn't really an equal type of thing. When a Christian goes to a Seder, there is nothing there that runs counter to his beliefs. In fact, you could say he's getting closer to Jesus by experiencing one of his religious traditions. But when a Jew goes to a church, he DOES hear a lot that completely negates his religious beliefs.

4) And finally, he did more than simply extend an invitation to "reach out" to me. He badgered me about it. I told him "I appreciate it, but I don't think it's for me" nicely, and then he came back a second time, and I told him "no" again, and then a third....practically DEMANDING I go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone invited me to their religious ceremony, I would invite them to mine. I don't think that was out of line and that exchange could be beneficial to both. The bit about heaven and evangelizing is crossing the line though.

OP here, and again, it depends on how it's worded. If I extended an invitation to you by saying, "if you'd like to go to Heaven, why don't you come to my church," it's pretty damning. (Pun intended.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why you invited them in the first place.
But I would ditch this friendship.

Because she said that her church has a seder, and she found it interesting. I thought she was indicating that she'd enjoy experiencing a Jewish, traditional Seder. (Of course, she was free to turn the invitation down.)

Any Christian church that has a seder is an evangelical church committed to proselytizing, and may even be one of the churches that believes salvation will come when all Jews accept Jesus and/or move to Israel.

Be very wary of Christians who practice Jewish rituals (as opposed to being part of an interfaith network of Christians and Jews) -- they almost always are going to be part of churches that do active testimony and proselytizing.

You might want to post this in the Religion forum, where I suspect other people, including other Christians (I'm Jewish) will back me up.

Not necessarily. My Episcopal Church had a Seder every year during Holy week - on Thursday. It was learning about the Last Supper, which was a Seder. We also did several exchanges/combined ceremonies with our local Jewish Synagogue through the year. It was a low key Episcopal church and I think our minster would have been happy in the UU tradition, except that he loved the liturgy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A Christian friend of mine, whom I've known about five years, was telling me that her church has a seder, and that she finds it interesting. After getting the OK from my parents (the hosts), I invited her (and her husband) to our first-night Seder. Both were respectful during the service, as I would expect, even though I'm sure the Hebrew was boring to them. They thanked my parents profusely for a wonderful evening, and off we headed. (We drove together.)

Not five minutes into our trip, the husband asked me, "Do you want to go to Heaven?" I immediately felt uncomfortable, since I took it as a negative judgment of the Jewish religion/tradition he had just witnessed, and answered, "I'm don't think there is a Heaven, but if there is, of course I want to go." He then answered, "then how about coming to church with us this Sunday." (His wife, my friend, said nothing.) I said, swallowing my anger, "I like my religion and want to keep it," and he said, "Well, we went to a service of yours." (The wife still said nothing, even though it was apparent I was uncomfortable.) He asked me three times to give it a chance, and I answered three times that I was not interested.

This is not the first instance I've had with the husband, btw. He is always telling me about predictions made in the Old Testament about Jesus, and one time the wife (my friend), quoted something about the only way to the Father is through the Son. I've asked them to stop, but this last experience has crossed the line. I just got off the phone with the wife (couldn't call yesterday because it was still holiday), and told her how uncomfortable I am when her husband keeps trying to get me to "accept Jesus." Her response? "Try not to be so sensitive about every little thing."

It's her response that has got me thinking I need to sever the friendship. Opinions?

Given what you wrote in paragraph 3, why did you ever invite him to a seder? You knew that they are both a bit extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why you invited them in the first place.
But I would ditch this friendship.

Because she said that her church has a seder, and she found it interesting. I thought she was indicating that she'd enjoy experiencing a Jewish, traditional Seder. (Of course, she was free to turn the invitation down.)

Any Christian church that has a seder is an evangelical church committed to proselytizing, and may even be one of the churches that believes salvation will come when all Jews accept Jesus and/or move to Israel.

Be very wary of Christians who practice Jewish rituals (as opposed to being part of an interfaith network of Christians and Jews) -- they almost always are going to be part of churches that do active testimony and proselytizing.

You might want to post this in the Religion forum, where I suspect other people, including other Christians (I'm Jewish) will back me up.

OP here, and thank you. I had NO IDEA that a Christian church that has a seder is an evangelical church. In fact, when my friend told me about it and I expressed surprise, she told me that it's become very popular for churches to have seders since Christianity is based on Judaism. It seemed reasonable - and sort of nice. Now I know better.

As far as posting this in the religion forum, I did consider it before I posted my OP. I decided to post here instead because the issue is really the relationship - my friend minimizing my feelings about her husband's blatant disrespect of Judaism, and whether to sever the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A Christian friend of mine, whom I've known about five years, was telling me that her church has a seder, and that she finds it interesting. After getting the OK from my parents (the hosts), I invited her (and her husband) to our first-night Seder. Both were respectful during the service, as I would expect, even though I'm sure the Hebrew was boring to them. They thanked my parents profusely for a wonderful evening, and off we headed. (We drove together.)

Not five minutes into our trip, the husband asked me, "Do you want to go to Heaven?" I immediately felt uncomfortable, since I took it as a negative judgment of the Jewish religion/tradition he had just witnessed, and answered, "I'm don't think there is a Heaven, but if there is, of course I want to go." He then answered, "then how about coming to church with us this Sunday." (His wife, my friend, said nothing.) I said, swallowing my anger, "I like my religion and want to keep it," and he said, "Well, we went to a service of yours." (The wife still said nothing, even though it was apparent I was uncomfortable.) He asked me three times to give it a chance, and I answered three times that I was not interested.

This is not the first instance I've had with the husband, btw. He is always telling me about predictions made in the Old Testament about Jesus, and one time the wife (my friend), quoted something about the only way to the Father is through the Son. I've asked them to stop, but this last experience has crossed the line. I just got off the phone with the wife (couldn't call yesterday because it was still holiday), and told her how uncomfortable I am when her husband keeps trying to get me to "accept Jesus." Her response? "Try not to be so sensitive about every little thing."

It's her response that has got me thinking I need to sever the friendship. Opinions?

Given what you wrote in paragraph 3, why did you ever invite him to a seder? You knew that they are both a bit extreme.

I didn't know they were THAT extreme. Like I said, it's sort of like the frog in the boiling water. When I first met them, they never even mentioned religion to me. So either they kept "mum" about it initially until I felt comfortable with their friendship, or they only recently became so extreme.

[Anonymous]

So practicing their religion and inviting you to their church is extreme but you inviting them to attend one of your religious event does not mean that you are also an extremist?

Double standard.

[Anonymous]

OP just admit that you want them to respect your religion but you don't want to hear anything about theirs. You need to just need to make sure everyone around you is Jewish then you will not get offended.

[Anonymous]

I had a coworker that was Muslim. He liked to talk religion to everyone in the Office during lunch. One day he gave a few of us copies of the Koran. I figured I'd return the favor and gave him a Bible. He took it from me in the doorway of his Office and then said that the book was considered blasphemous and dropped it into the waste basket next to his door. I was astounded at his behavior. I cut ties with him.

You've reaction to his Offer after you opened the religion door in the relationship reminds me of him.

I cut ties with him. Maybe your friends should cut ties with you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't put any effort into it, that's for sure. And I would probably avoid him as much as possible. I wouldn't judge you if you dropped them either.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So practicing their religion and inviting you to their church is extreme but you inviting them to attend one of your religious event does not mean that you are also an extremist?

Double standard.

Inviting them to my religious event AFTER they expressed interest in the service is one thing; their telling me that I will go to Hell unless I adopt their religion (and start by attending one of their services) is totally different. Are you really not able to tell the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP just admit that you want them to respect your religion but you don't want to hear anything about theirs. You need to just need to make sure everyone around you is Jewish then you will not get offended.

I think you're the same poster as above. So I'll ignore this.