Is a disagreement over the number of kids to have a deal breaker for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very firmly did not want kids. My husband said he loved me and wanted to marry me, but needed to become a father. I agreed to one. We wound up with two (adopting the second in an emergency situation).

I agreed to the one on the condition that HE would be the main parent, and that we would have a nanny. He agreed to those things. I don't bring it up, but I absolutely had kids to keep him.

Are you a really disconnected mother? Do you even enjoy your children?

I work full time. I know where the oldest goes to school but don't remember where her classroom is. I know her best friend's name. But in general DH handles the details, just like the main parent always does. I enjoy them sometimes. Generally when we're out rather than at home.

I'm sorry, but this makes me sad for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I very firmly did not want kids. My husband said he loved me and wanted to marry me, but needed to become a father. I agreed to one. We wound up with two (adopting the second in an emergency situation).

I agreed to the one on the condition that HE would be the main parent, and that we would have a nanny. He agreed to those things. I don't bring it up, but I absolutely had kids to keep him.

Are you a really disconnected mother? Do you even enjoy your children?

I work full time. I know where the oldest goes to school but don't remember where her classroom is. I know her best friend's name. But in general DH handles the details, just like the main parent always does. I enjoy them sometimes. Generally when we're out rather than at home.

I'm sorry, but this makes me sad for your children.

Why? I'm sure that in sahm/wohd households, the dad doesn't know the everyday minutia of his child(ren)'s lives. It's ridiculous how this poster is being held to higher standard of parenting because she's a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She'd be an idiot!
They can compromise and have just one more, but she can let him figure that out down the road.
First, it's the mother who carries the child and she should have a right of refusal.
Second, the person who wants less children wins.
Third, once he bonds with the existing child, and has one of his own, and experiences how expensive and effortful they are, he'll likely come around!

This is what is commonly referred to as a "lie".

I'm sure in the end they'll find a way to compromise and do what she wants. He may as well get used to it.

[Anonymous]

I would have the additional kid he wants but that's just me . I always thought I wanted two or theee kids (I know have 3). But I think if I wanted to marry someone who wanted 4 that wouldn't have been a deal breaker for me personally.

[Anonymous]

We never picked a number. DW said she "wanted God to decide." After two, she started using birth control.

[Anonymous]

OP here, her daughter is 10 and he thinks that by the time they have a baby, she may be in the teens years and be into her friends and activities to spend a lot of quality time with a younger sibling. He wants two kids preferably 2-3 years apart so they can grow up together.