Is it rude to compliment a random woman out in public on how beautiful & attractive she is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, don't do that. It's pretty creepy as your lead off line. Talk about something else first and make her laugh. You can compliment her after you've had 10 minutes of real conversation.

-Attractive guy

Uhhh
- being on this site/forum
- responding to this thread
- signing yourself "attractive guy"

= wow. Not in a good way, should you misinterpret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

Gosh, is there any area in which white men don't have it harder than everyone else? If only they could catch a break in life. The struggle is real.

Why must some people read everything this way?

I took it as a difference in black culture. Or that black men are smoother in general (which they are), so it "works" for them. Nobody's trying to act like white men have anything harder, for goodness sake. Just stop it.

It's not that they're smoother and able to pull this BS off. It's that if I don't gain anything worthwhile by acknowledging the behavior or giving it a second thought. I used to get mad when 40 yo Mexican men yelled sexually explicit things at me as an 11 yo, but there's only so much thought I can put into that before I end up having some really racist thoughts and I'd rather not be a racist, so I choose to ignore, downplay, pretend I don't hear when Latin & Black express themselves like this.

[Anonymous]

I would appreciate it if you just smiled at me if you think I'm pretty rather than say, "you are so beautiful" or 'I am a lucky man to be talking to such a beautiful woman today".

I don't take compliments well and it makes feel really self conscious and uncomfortable when it's coming from people I don't know.

So while it may not seem rude because you are giving a compliment, it is rude to make another person feel uncomfortable and since you don't know how the other person will take the compliment it's best to just think it in your head and smile.

[Anonymous]

It's flattering when said in a genuine tone and by a good looking stranger. But also very awkward. Secretly I am very flattered though, but just shuffle along so as not to suggest I am looking for anything further.


Signed: Mom with 3 kids who misses the compliments!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't this the main reason why women spend so much time in front of the mirror each morning?
Compliments just mean it was time well spent.

It has been said, and there is much validity to it, that women don't 'dress' for men as much as they dress to impress their peers.

[Anonymous]

Not rude, but many women won't welcome it.

[Anonymous]

As long as she's not with a "less" attractive friend.

[Anonymous]

black dude says to my female co-worker "dat ass. bless you girl" outside of our office. female co-worker just giggled.

no problems.

two days later...white guy (or even worse..Asian guy) says "hey I like your hair today".....reported to HR.

true story - this actually happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That about if I compliment your shirt, as in the message on the t-shirt. For example the other day, I saw a young woman in a shirt that said "Science is not a liberal conspiracy", which I liked.

Would you have complimented an old, ugly woman for that same shirt?

[Anonymous]

Is it ok to ask

"Whatcha gonna go with all that junk? All that junk up in your trunk"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

I'm a woman and I've heard it too, usually with a "young lady" attached to it. I just avoid eye contact (with any random man). I'm not young--I'm in my md thirties. I'd guess that all three factors you mentioned play into others' responses.

What about Latin American men?

Lots of staring but no comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:black dude says to my female co-worker "dat ass. bless you girl" outside of our office. female co-worker just giggled.

no problems.

two days later...white guy (or even worse..Asian guy) says "hey I like your hair today".....reported to HR.

true story - this actually happened.

You seem overly invested in her, bro.

[Anonymous]

I have had young AA men compliment me but they do it in the way that it sounds genuine and complimentary without ever being creepy. I have not figured it out how they can be so very charming and effortless about it. I do not think an Asian or Latin man could do the same without sounding like a creep, and the same sentence by a White man would be stalker like! I am Asian, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had young AA men compliment me but they do it in the way that it sounds genuine and complimentary without ever being creepy. I have not figured it out how they can be so very charming and effortless about it. I do not think an Asian or Latin man could do the same without sounding like a creep, and the same sentence by a White man would be stalker like! I am Asian, BTW.

It's called fear of being called a racist.

[Anonymous]

If a man or a woman I didn't know told me I was beautiful and attractive, I'd be uncomfortable. For me, it's just too personal of a comment on my appearance. My best friend (female) makes those kinds of comments to female strangers. She's sincere and has no ill intent, but it typically does make people uncomfortable.