Is it rude to compliment a random woman out in public on how beautiful & attractive she is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What pp's have said: it's totally contextual. I was beautiful when I was younger and would get comments on the regular - from both men AND women.

When it was delivered as a genuin, no-strings-attached and polite compliment, I was always flattered.

The lewd, sexual ones? Not so much. That's when I consider it rude and inappropriate.

Haven't been complimented in a couple years now and it makes me sad, actually.

How old are you?

37, and I look it! Plus, after three rough pregnancies and an obscene amount of weight gain/loss, my figure is gone. I do still sometimes catch men staring, but they are older and the random comments don't happen anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

I'm a woman and I've heard it too, usually with a "young lady" attached to it. I just avoid eye contact (with any random man). I'm not young--I'm in my md thirties. I'd guess that all three factors you mentioned play into others' responses.

What about Latin American men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

Gosh, is there any area in which white men don't have it harder than everyone else? If only they could catch a break in life. The struggle is real.

Why must some people read everything this way?

I took it as a difference in black culture. Or that black men are smoother in general (which they are), so it "works" for them. Nobody's trying to act like white men have anything harder, for goodness sake. Just stop it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, rude and creepy. I'm not put on earth for you to ogle.

I'm open to conversation with strangers, but if it starts off with my appearance, I shut that shit right down.

[Anonymous]

What is the intent of saying something like this, OP? Like what on earth are you hoping to accomplish by telling some strange women that you, a strange man, find them attractive?

[Anonymous]

The compliment has to be said in a genuine tone of voice, and not be vulgar in any way.
Then it's fine, and I will smile and say thank you.
I have been tempted to compliment others, but always think twice about it, because the USA is SO WEIRD about this. I come from France, where compliments are much more acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Hot guy= Awesome

Ugly guy= Gross

How many movies and women's fantasies begin with an attractive man who is smitten with a woman at first sight because of how beautiful he finds her? Tons.

And as PP have said, lewd and sexual is yuck. Once an insanely hot guy I was chatting with ruined it by saying "Mmm I'd like to watch you do yoga! How about down dog?" Instant lady boner killer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a man paying the compliment? Then yes it is creepy and rude, almost always. There are exceptions. If it's a woman, then generally no (again, with exceptions).

agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

The context that you describe above is creepy. I've been hit on like that and I HATE it. I'm also highly unlikely to say anything or shut them down because I'm probably thinking about who in the immediate vicinity looks friendly and safe if I need to ask someone for help (often I'm looking for young women, or just a man who isn't staring at me and might provide cover for a block or so if I need it - white, black or Latino it doesn't matter). I also don't often correct white men, because they have just as much ability to harm me as anyone else, and are less likely to go to jail. I'm a white woman fwiw.

[Anonymous]

It's all about the context and attitude. Mostly I'd prefer to be politely ignored. A truly nice and non-sexual compliment on my looks doesn't bother me, though. Sadly I just get shouted at by men who are clearly on drugs.

[Anonymous]

Hate it every time. It's creepy- don't comment on my appearance, stranger!

When I was single I didn't mind guys hitting on me in the right contex but to lead with a comment on my appearance was always a huge turn off.

[Anonymous]

Yes and yes.

Some guy stopped me in Wegmans and said "you know, you're really pretty." He seemed very awkward, so I don't think he intended to be creepy, but it was creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

Gosh, is there any area in which white men don't have it harder than everyone else? If only they could catch a break in life. The struggle is real.

F-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

I'm a woman and I've heard it too, usually with a "young lady" attached to it. I just avoid eye contact (with any random man). I'm not young--I'm in my md thirties. I'd guess that all three factors you mentioned play into others' responses.

What about Latin American men?

Much more respectful in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man behind me in a store once told me I had the smell of candy and he liked candy.

Just saw my across the street neighbor, about 19 years old, unmarried, washing her car in a black string bikini, 6 months pregnant. The man next door to my right is watching her from his laundry room window, the other side neighbor is watching from his dining room window, the one in the corner is outside watching her, pretending to be on the phone.

I don't know. Is it pervy to look maybe offer help if she's wanting people to see ?

I think she's slutty.

And what has that got to do with the topic at hand?