Is it rude to compliment a random woman out in public on how beautiful & attractive she is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

Gosh, is there any area in which white men don't have it harder than everyone else? If only they could catch a break in life. The struggle is real.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, don't do that. It's pretty creepy as your lead off line. Talk about something else first and make her laugh. You can compliment her after you've had 10 minutes of real conversation.

-Attractive guy

[Anonymous]

A man behind me in a store once told me I had the smell of candy and he liked candy.

Just saw my across the street neighbor, about 19 years old, unmarried, washing her car in a black string bikini, 6 months pregnant. The man next door to my right is watching her from his laundry room window, the other side neighbor is watching from his dining room window, the one in the corner is outside watching her, pretending to be on the phone.

I don't know. Is it pervy to look maybe offer help if she's wanting people to see ?

I think she's slutty.

[Anonymous]

A compliment is great as long as it's not delivered in a way that makes me feel violated or like your next meal. Don't say:

- You have beautiful anything below the neck.
- Don't be looking at anything below the neck while speaking.
- Don't speak in double entendre - that's the worst.
- Don't follow me or get into my personal space.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is rude. Stop it.

[Anonymous]

If it's a only a compliment with no other inappropriate or aggressive behaviors attached, then no and no.

Appropriate:

Man meets a woman in a public place and compliments her. She replies thank you. If she gives no indication that she wants to have a conversation, the two of you say goodbye and life goes on.

Inappropriate:

Making lewd comments. Continuing to talk to the woman even if it's clear that she doesn't want to talk to you. Following her. Becoming angry if she doesn't return your interest.

I think a lot of women are wary about harmless compliments because compliments followed by inappropriate behaviors happen often. It's sometimes hard to know what's going to happen so women err on the side of safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

Was the guy hot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man behind me in a store once told me I had the smell of candy and he liked candy.

Just saw my across the street neighbor, about 19 years old, unmarried, washing her car in a black string bikini, 6 months pregnant. The man next door to my right is watching her from his laundry room window, the other side neighbor is watching from his dining room window, the one in the corner is outside watching her, pretending to be on the phone.

I don't know. Is it pervy to look maybe offer help if she's wanting people to see ?

I think she's slutty.

Um, can you post a picture next time she's washing car.

[Anonymous]

That about if I compliment your shirt, as in the message on the t-shirt. For example the other day, I saw a young woman in a shirt that said "Science is not a liberal conspiracy", which I liked.

[Anonymous]

What pp's have said: it's totally contextual. I was beautiful when I was younger and would get comments on the regular - from both men AND women.

When it was delivered as a genuin, no-strings-attached and polite compliment, I was always flattered.

The lewd, sexual ones? Not so much. That's when I consider it rude and inappropriate.

Haven't been complimented in a couple years now and it makes me sad, actually.

[Anonymous]

You have lovely eyes or a lovely smile is nice, as a low-key pleasant compliment. Anything less generic than that, then no.

[Anonymous]

This is my go to standard for whether something is appropriate:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sexual-harassment/2751966?snl=1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What pp's have said: it's totally contextual. I was beautiful when I was younger and would get comments on the regular - from both men AND women.

When it was delivered as a genuin, no-strings-attached and polite compliment, I was always flattered.

The lewd, sexual ones? Not so much. That's when I consider it rude and inappropriate.

Haven't been complimented in a couple years now and it makes me sad, actually.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Both rude and creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it depends somewhat on the ethnicity of the person giving the compliment.

In my observations, (and I see this a LOT downtown, esp w/younger men) African American men are afforded more .... say, "latitude" in saying things to women unacquainted to them that would be considered offensive if the very same thing was said by a white man.

I've even asked my coworkers about it, right after it happened, and they've all sort of just blown it off, saying "he didn't mean anything by it"...

An example would be a wolf whistle, followed by an obvious look up and down, with a "mmmmmm-mmmuah!", then saying "damn you are beautiful". I witnessed that exact thing a few weeks ago, and it was pretty offensive. But my friend seemed unwilling to call it that.

I'm not sure if it's an issue of white guilt or something, or not wanting to be confrontational, or maybe even fear or intimidation, but I've seen her tell white guys to F-off when she's caught them looking at her.

It's weird. I don't understand it

I'm a woman and I've heard it too, usually with a "young lady" attached to it. I just avoid eye contact (with any random man). I'm not young--I'm in my md thirties. I'd guess that all three factors you mentioned play into others' responses.