7th grader says he needs to "chill" after school

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Well, it's your life and your child and your puppy, OP, but I would never pay for a second walk when my kid is home and can do it. I have a child with special needs who NEEDS downtime. Well, he could get his TV fix after walking the dog, if he wanted to. Actually he's in 6th grade and after a little reading while snacking, he does his homework, and then is allowed to play video games. Looking after a dependent animal teaches responsibility and compassion, not to mention that your son may find that walking outside with a sentient being is actually more relaxing than mindlessly staring at the TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change wifi code daily. Unlock when chores and homework are done. He can "chill" by playing outside with dog.

This was going to be my suggestion. I've seen the picture of the note making rounds on Facebook that to get the daily wi-fi password the chores need to be finished with picture proof and I'm all about it. A 7th grader is more than capable to help out with household chores. You can "chill" after your chores are done, not sure why this is even a discussion?

[Anonymous]

If your DS does have ADHD (or is just a garden variety middle schooler), you need to minimize potential distractions (no access to TV, limits on phone data) AND he still needs to be responsible about the puppy.

Do you have a fenced yard? Our dog tires out much more from 15 minutes of fetch than from a 30 minute walk.

[Anonymous]

If he's not mature/compassionate enough to take care of his own dog for 15 minutes after school, then you either need immediate consequences or incentives, take your pick. Immediate being the operative word. I'm a consequence type. But whatever works for you. If that's not working immediately (again!), then you need to find a way to take care of your dog regardless as others have said. It is helpless. And, please, 13 years old is not too young for minimal family responsibilities. 7, maybe. Not 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guarantee he has loser friends that don't do anything but "chill" after school and snapchat and group message him and offer to game online from 2pm-10pp. It normalizes "chilling", i.e. EVERYONE(!!!) else is chilling, why can't I?

Good luck. A shitty peer group undermines any progress you make inside the house.

This is not always the case. My DS also needs a break when he gets home. He literally lays on the couch and decompresses. He doesn't want to talk or interact in any way. I'm home most days, so I personally witness this. After he's reenergized, he does his homework. For some kids being up at 6am and not getting home until 3 is a long day. It's ok for them to pick when they have down time, as long as they get their homework and other chores done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is his homework not getting done at all?

Assuming his homework is getting done at night, tell him that after he walks the dog, he is free to relax until you get home. Then do not make any snarky comments about him watching TV when you get home.

If his homework isn't getting done, then he can't watch TV. Use the parental controls on devices.

This is what I was thinking too. Totally fine to chill out for an hour or so, just make sure dog is taken care of first.

[Anonymous]

He needs to chill after being in school all day and that puppy needs to get out after sitting in a crate all day. Give the puppy up if someone can't let it out to run. That's cruel.