Elementary age brother and sister sharing a room!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm female. Shared a bedroom with my brother (20 months younger) all the way through college. No choice there.

Our parents gave us the master bedroom so it was bigger, and set it up with tall desks (think desks with shelves attached) and shelves all the way down the room. Whoever had the half closest to the door had less privacy but we eventually solved that with a sheet tacked to the ceiling.

The "wall" between the two halves ended about two feet below the ceiling.

We would have killed each other without that separation.

Dangerous. Easy to knock over a large bookcase/shelves.

Yet *gasp* OP lived to tell us about it!

My sister survived driving while drunk. Good idea them to keep doing things that we survived.

Once you compare driving drunk to separating a room w/ bookshelves for ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS ...your argument becomes worthless and you look like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I was raised in another very traditional and conservative country. I always shared a room with my brothers growing up. We all had our own beds , closets and desks. My parents moved around a lot because of my dad's job and we were not guaranteed lux accommodations every where we moved. As my siblings left for college, there was more room and I eventually got my own room as a young teenager.

My parents and siblings did not act in a sexual manner in front of us ever that made us think that they need their privacy. My parents were devoted to each other but we never saw closed bedroom doors. I am sure that they were having sex and closing the bedroom door at night after we all were asleep. Similarly, my siblings did not ever change in front of each other - we always changed in the bathroom and dressed there after we showered. In retrospect, my brothers may have needed privacy but they must have found other places (bathroom?), because they had some basic decency and decorum.

When you have extra bedrooms you can certainly give a room to each child. However, the reasons are not because there is a need for them to masturbate or be naked in the room. That is messed up thinking. And if you do not have seperate bedrooms then any person who is not having sex does not need privacy. Children of different gender can share the room and it is perfectly ok.

Most Americans do not think there is any problem when same gender children share rooms. Why is that ok? What if one of the same gender kids is gay? Is sharing then ok?

[Anonymous]

PP: so where did you have find "me" time to explore your body?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why do you ask if you don't want to hear what someone has to say? There are many houses that size or smaller, like ours with three bedrooms. Our house is under 1000 square feet and has three bedrooms. Your house is poorly laid out. You don't need a larger house, you need a better designed house. And, you don't need vacations, a 3rd car or a dog. Its best for you kids share but it may not be best for them. At elementary school age, b/g should have their own rooms. If they were the same gender, fine.

Huh? The only question I asked was, "Do you know what was worse than sharing a room?" You have some seriously poor comprehension skills as well as a very narrow mindset. No vacations, no car for the kids to drive (which is who the 3rd car is for) and no dog? Compromise the quality of our lives just to give my DD her own room? You have issues. And, just because my house doesn't have 3 bedrooms doesn't mean it is poorly designed. I can't believe your criteria for poorly/well designed is the number of bedrooms a house has!

Just asked my DD if she'd rather have her own room or a car to drive - she chose the car!

What are you looking for but to belittle other posters? Why post at all? You clearly have no interest in what someone else says. Keeping a 3rd car is not that expensive. Nor, is finding a way to get an extra bedroom, especially with the size of your house. If the kids are elementary age, they don't need a car to drive. You keep that car for yourself.

Why do you continue to espond to posts without really reading them? My kids are not in ES. My oldest is in HS and my younger to are in MS! You speak of a 3rd bedroom as a 'need'. It is a not. You are clearly in a different reality than we are - you don't think keeping a 3rd car is that expensive nor is redesigning a house to carve out a 3rd bedroom. You are painfully out of touch.

Life is all about choices and making the best decisions for your family. You may prioritize bedrooms, we do not. That's fine. What's not fine is your insistence that everyone should make the same choice you have. This thread is seeking advice from people who have experience with boy/girl siblings sharing a room. You have no experience. So, I have to turn your question back to you, "Why post at all". You have nothing to contribute.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised no one mentioned this..... but if you receive any kind of public housing assistance (or have foster children), opposite gender kids cannot share a room after age 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jack and Diane share a cute room on Blackish on ABC.

For real? They are rich in that big house, nice car, both working parents and their kids share a room? Pulease

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised no one mentioned this..... but if you receive any kind of public housing assistance (or have foster children), opposite gender kids cannot share a room after age 5.

You're going to need to provide a citation that related opposite sex children (not foster children) cannot share a room after the age of 5 and receive public housing assistance. I've seen they can apply for additional bedroom but nothing that would prohibit room sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP: so where did you have find "me" time to explore your body?

Maybe in the shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jack and Diane share a cute room on Blackish on ABC.

For real? They are rich in that big house, nice car, both working parents and their kids share a room? Pulease

Family sitcoms seem to always have at least 2 of the kids sharing a room, no matter how big the rest of the house is or rich the family is. It's a good plot device, I guess, plus it saves on production costs by allowing them to build fewer sets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared a room with 3 brothers. My sister came every other weekend. Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. We had bunk beds and the only thing the room was used for was sleep. This idea of kids needing their own rooms is a luxury of an affluent society. We found ways to have privacy when needed. Doesn't matter if it's same sex siblings sharing a room or opposite sex. My 3 kids (2 boys/1 girl) share a room. The oldest is in HS, younger two in MS.

For our kids, we got bunk beds (same beds my brothers and I used!). I got some sheer curtains, some PVC pipe and I 'curtained' the bunk beds. Kinda looks like mosquito netting. Each kid has shelf/table that holds a clock/tissue/water bottle. Each kid has a bed lamp clamped to the headboard, similar to this https://www.google.com/search?q=clamp+light+for+headboard&rlz=1CAHPZY_enUS572US572&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=678&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiEju7p88HRAhUC5SYKHVYJAYcQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=se8Qk3wGeJek7M%3A. The lamp is such that it shines only on the kid who wants it - it doesn't disturb the other kids.

The kids will lay on their beds, listen to music (thru headphones) or read a book on their bed but not much else. They've figured out how to get 'space' in our house that's not necessarily a bedroom. We have a homework table elsewhere in the house, kids aren't allowed to have laptops in their bedrooms, we have a cubby/staging area next to the homework table where backpacks, etc. go. That helps cut down on the clutter/junk. Definitely no TVs in the bedroom.

Do my kid wish they had their own rooms? Sure, they do. So did I growing up but it just wasn't going to happen. You know what was worse than sharing a room? Sharing a single bathroom! My kids have it so much better! We've got 2 bathrooms!

I don't get parents who put all the kids in one room when they have 3-4 bedroom homes. It seems very selfish to me. If you can afford it, you should move and at least separate by gender.

You have poor reading skills. We don't have 3-4 bedrooms. We have 2 bedrooms and about 1250 sq ft total. Could we 'afford' a larger house? Sure, if we moved out Loudon/PGC, gave up a yearly vacation, stop saving for college, no extra curriculars for the kids, the 3rd car and the dog. We have no 'outsourced' work, we pack lunch and coffee so there's nothing to be saved on that end. For our family, we believe it's best for the kids to share a room.

To the person who has such significant issues with this, all I can say is 'therapy'. My mother shared a room with her brother, her mother shared a room with 3 brothers, my paternal grandfather shared a loft with a number of his siblings....where I grew up, this wasn't uncommon. If you really hated it, you could always sleep in the barn.....

Why do you ask if you don't want to hear what someone has to say? There are many houses that size or smaller, like ours with three bedrooms. Our house is under 1000 square feet and has three bedrooms. Your house is poorly laid out. You don't need a larger house, you need a better designed house. And, you don't need vacations, a 3rd car or a dog. Its best for you kids share but it may not be best for them. At elementary school age, b/g should have their own rooms. If they were the same gender, fine.

I like how crazy PP is so desperate to be right that she's insisting OP change everything about her life and move to a different house...to avoid two siblings sharing a room. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jack and Diane share a cute room on Blackish on ABC.

But, it is a tv show! They don't really share a room, silly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another very traditional and conservative country. I always shared a room with my brothers growing up. We all had our own beds , closets and desks. My parents moved around a lot because of my dad's job and we were not guaranteed lux accommodations every where we moved. As my siblings left for college, there was more room and I eventually got my own room as a young teenager.

My parents and siblings did not act in a sexual manner in front of us ever that made us think that they need their privacy. My parents were devoted to each other but we never saw closed bedroom doors. I am sure that they were having sex and closing the bedroom door at night after we all were asleep. Similarly, my siblings did not ever change in front of each other - we always changed in the bathroom and dressed there after we showered. In retrospect, my brothers may have needed privacy but they must have found other places (bathroom?), because they had some basic decency and decorum.

When you have extra bedrooms you can certainly give a room to each child. However, the reasons are not because there is a need for them to masturbate or be naked in the room. That is messed up thinking. And if you do not have seperate bedrooms then any person who is not having sex does not need privacy. Children of different gender can share the room and it is perfectly ok.

Most Americans do not think there is any problem when same gender children share rooms. Why is that ok? What if one of the same gender kids is gay? Is sharing then ok?

Incest is wrong whether it is two sisters or two brothers. Sometimes opposite genders want privacy because they are going through different things when puberty hits. If you have to share than you have to share but, you can also acknowledge that privacy is nice for opposite genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jack and Diane share a cute room on Blackish on ABC.

For real? They are rich in that big house, nice car, both working parents and their kids share a room? Pulease

Yeah, I kind of like the show but honestly I think the setup is weird especially since the kids are older.

An in general, I think if older opposite gender siblings are sharing a bedroom that the parents are either poor or just lack common sense. Either way, I would not allow my child to visit such a home. Sorry, being poor is fine but lacking common sense is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jack and Diane share a cute room on Blackish on ABC.

For real? They are rich in that big house, nice car, both working parents and their kids share a room? Pulease

Yeah, I kind of like the show but honestly I think the setup is weird especially since the kids are older.

An in general, I think if older opposite gender siblings are sharing a bedroom that the parents are either poor or just lack common sense. Either way, I would not allow my child to visit such a home. Sorry, being poor is fine but lacking common sense is not.

Yes, "being poor is fine" but you wouldn't allow your child to visit "such a home". Moron.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - I am in a similar situation, and have had a therapist tell me point blank that my son and daughter should have their own space/rooms, if possible. And mine are younger 6 and 9. She was emphatic that as they hit pre-teen years, they need privacy, especially because they are different genders. So I would try to find some kind of divider. I think at her age, your DD will need privacy. We also had friends in a similar siutation, and they ended up hiring a contractor who moved walls and converted a wall/closet from their Master Bedroom into a small sized third bedroom for their child, who was getting too old to share with his sister.