Elementary age brother and sister sharing a room!
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Anonymous
So what? Might I remind you of the emotional damage puritanism brought to this country? And, oh puritans all shared one room, no matter the age or gender. |
Anonymous
| Puritans probably all shared the same bed too - which is why there were so many of them. |
Anonymous
 only many of our families were not puritans.
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Anonymous
No, most people here have housing that allows kids to have their own room. Parents are selfish and want multiple private rooms for themselves. Why can't the parent share? |
Anonymous
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OP said the house is small. To have the kids share, I would presume only a two bedroom. Otherwise, yeah... one of the kids should get the room.
Suggest giving up the master bedroom and, if it's large enough, dividing it up with a wall to make two smaller rooms (have it done in a way so that there will be minimal damage when the wall comes down to turn it back into a single when the kids move out). Another other option is, if there's a finished basement, have the parents make the basement the master and give the kids the upstairs rooms. |
Anonymous
| I saw an ad on Facebook recently for what are effectively large Legos that you can use to build a non-permanent dividing wall. |
Anonymous
| McMansion |
Anonymous
I dont understand why in this day & age so many people keep having more kids if they can only afford one bedroom for all of them to squeeze into? If YOU didn't like living this way, why on God's green earth would you force your children to do it to? Shouldn't we want better than we had for our kids? And yes, I also shared a bedroom with my two brothers (which is why I'd NEVER force my kids to live that way & ask through out my childhood, I'd say "I'm never don't this to my kids"). As an adult I'd now say "it wasn't that bad" because we have a tendency to "forget" (like childbirth), especially the day to day challenges, fights & minutia that occurred & unless there was significant trauma, we usually only remember for blocks of time as a whole, because our brains can't retain what happened every single day of our childhood. I don't believe anyone who says "we never had any problems" because as an adult, looking back I'd say that now too... the only difference is I was a writer as a teenager & would journal everything that happened. If I didn't have those journals, I'd probably remember things "normally" too, because as adults my siblings & I are really close, but at the time I hated living with them & resented my parents for selfishly making me live with my brothers. Sure, as an adult I've come to realize that my brothers love me, but they certainly didn't show it our say it as kids & perception is reality. When we were in elementary school it wasn't so bad, but as we got into middle & high school, it really sucked. I mean, they didn't beat me up, bully me or make me feel uncomfortable sexually or anything like that, but they were definitely the typical pubescent boy, teasing, pains in the ass's (tossing my bras around, etc). I HATED that my parents were so selfish that they had us all in one room, especially since I was the only girl. I never felt like I had any privacy, I never felt that sense of "safeness" that my friends did, I felt like the outsider being the input girl & I craved that sense of shutting my door to the rest of the world. My room wasn't my own, if I wanted to be alone, I couldn't, if I wanted to have a private conversation, I couldn't, if I wanted to cry by myself, I COULDN'T. Kids should feel like their space is their own & no matter how many sheets you hang or dressers you use to separate, that space is NEVER your own. You can always hear, smell, see things that reinforce that when you look around, it's a constant reminder. The earlier poster said that growing up her boyfriend "survived" 3 kids sharing a room together. Well, if all you care about is your kids "surviving" you've failed as a parent. I don't want my kids to simply survive, I want them to thrive, be confident & be happy. Her acknowledging that they "survived" has to be one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever read on here & is clearly spoken as someone who's never shared a room with two other siblings before in her life. Would you want your kids to be happy or rather they just survive? Just "surviving" sounds absolutely miserable to me & not a goal I'd ever seek to achieve for my children. THREE boys/girls in middle school & ages up should NOT be sharing the same room together! Your bodies are going through different changes & you're not even comfortable experiencing these things for yourself, let alone having to do so with someone of the opposite sex constantly in the same space. It's a very trapped feeling & I understand that it was more acceptable in the 70's, but for you to force three pre & teenagers in the same room nowadays, is just selfish... especially to your daughter & my heart goes out to her. You may "assume" that your daughter is fine with living with them, but have you honestly asked her?? Just because she doesn't complain, doesn't mean that she's happy in that situation. She probably knows that you can't afford a place with her own room, so she doesn't want to make problems or rock the boat, add that will only lead to a fight about money, because she's probably heard that all of her life (because honestly, what other valid excuse could you possibly have to force three gender mixed teens in the same room in the year 2017??). She may appear as if it doesn't bother her to you, but without even knowing her personally, I promise you IT DOES, whether she professes so or not. You just don't want to have an honest conversation with yourself because it makes you feel guilty, so instead you just continue to act like your 3 kids are a-ok living on top of one another (literally, in bunk bed) & aren'tt jealous of their friends who only have to share a room with one other person or have their own rooms (gasp, what a concept!). Two teenagers sharing a room is absolutely understandable & acceptable, but shoving two boys & a girl the size of almost full grown adults into one bedroom is NOT understandable or acceptable & your children can't be thrilled iving this way. You seem all too fine with the way things are, which is how you've deluded yourself into thinking that everyone is fine in your living situation. If you were forced to live this way because of a job loss or downsizing your house, it would be more understandable AND you would have said so. Your post doesn't say "we're in this situation because of recent hardships & this is how we're making the best of it" because never anywhere in your post do you imply that. Your post acts like if this was ok for you, it's ok for your kids & they have no idea how good they have it because at least you have have 2 bathrooms. You act like because you grew up this way, it's ok & all of your kids are all well behaved, never get on each other's nerves, never argue, never feel smothered or a lack of privacy & all just love living right on top of one another. Sounds like a true breath of fresh air. Honestly teenage boys SUCK, I have two of my own & even THE nicest, most considerate & well behaved ones have boys of immature-itis & they always make their sisters the targets of that (and they ALL smell, all of them). If you think they want their sister in THEIR space when boys are just beginning to come into manhood & discovering new things about themselves, you're definitely delusional. All kids want their own space to call their own. Ask your kids individually how they HONESTLY feel & they'll tell you that they wish they had their own rooms, especially your poor daughter. The only girl doesn't exactly give her a sense of camaraderie & confidence in their space like the boys have, I imagine. Boys already have an alpha dominance over girls & the fact that they're the same gender reinforces that, so you're really forcing her to acclimate and live as one of them too, ugh. And before you say that I'm projecting my childhood feelings onto your daughter, you're damn right I am My brothers were for the whole good to me, but they were still immature boys & I hated feeling smothered all the time. If you don't think that those feelings transcend into adulthood, again you're deluding yourself. Who we are as adults is cause & effect & directly related to our experiences throughout childhood. No matter how close your children may be to one another, they still want to be on top of them 24/7. Sorry to be so direct & harsh, but maybe you should go live & that room & sleep in those bunk beds with your teenage sons for a week, then you'll get a glimpse into how she feels. |
Anonymous
| ^You are clearly unhinged and obviously need a hobby. That's the longest dcum post I've ever seen. Wowza. |
Anonymous
Yet *gasp* OP lived to tell us about it! 
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Anonymous
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People are making all sorts of judgments about OP without knowing the situation. Projecting all sorts of pent-up childhood issues and whatnot.
Maybe OP lost the home due to foreclosure and has to move in with a relative. Maybe OP isn't referring to his/her own home, but a room that the kids will share on weekends at an ex spouse's place Maybe a 2 bedroom home is all OP can afford. Fact is, we don't know the situation. |
Anonymous
Not the PP, but I cannot stand posters like this who contribute absolutely nothing to the conversation but to make judgmental comments. |
Anonymous
No worries, pp...I've been contributing throughout the thread. |
Anonymous
Or, maybe they can get a cheaper phone plan given it is $50 a month (or get rid of internet) and spend that on housing. Its different to have kids share at the other parent's house that they are rarely at. You can get a small house with three bedrooms. Most of the times I see three kids sharing is when they do have a 3-4 bedroom but want a guest room and office. |
Anonymous
Um, not once you are say, 4 |