Nephews visiting over Christmas smoked pot outside our home and returned high -- wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I probably should have clarified that the boys did not smoke right outside the house, but walked a few doors down and smoked in front of my neighbor's house. Either way, I find it unacceptable behavior for obvious reasons. They are in their late teens. We don't live in DC, so it is illegal where we live.

As for the lounging on the couch, this was not Christmas morning, but Christmas evening after dinner (they arrived around 3 pm Christmas Day). The boy was acting extremely rude slouching down on the couch with his feet up and not engaging with the group. I actually think he is depressed, which makes it sad, but still feel his parents should have corrected the behavior.

No I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to cause an argument on Christmas Day. Also considering that their mom (my sister-in-law) was trashed from drinking too much wine, bring up the issue would probably have created more drama that I didn't want to expose my kids to. They were clueless as to what was going on, and I consider that a good thing.

I still don't think bringing up the issue now is going to do any good. If they plan another visit, I will bring it up then. I don't think saying the boys are not invited is going to do anything good for my relationship with my brother, so I will just set the ground rules for the visit before they come.

Thanks to those who gave thoughtful input. And for those who called me a prude, I got a good chuckle. You don't know anything about me. What I do around my kids vs. what I do with a group of adults only are two different things. I expect the same from my adult nephews.

Your explanation doesn't help anything and now I have to agree with PP that you need a surgeon to help you remove that stick up your ass. Slouching and not engaging is NOT a problem. He's a moody teen. His parents don't need to correct anything. YOU need to correct yourself and your idiotic demands that a teenage boy not get comfortable on the couch and interact with the group.

Also, they were smart enough to go away from your house and away from your kids. Sorry, grinch, but you can't dictate anything about what they can and can't do when they are NOT in your house and they have actually made an effort to go AWAY from your house. WTF is wrong with you? You ARE a prude and between your two posts, we know all that we need to know about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I probably should have clarified that the boys did not smoke right outside the house, but walked a few doors down and smoked in front of my neighbor's house. Either way, I find it unacceptable behavior for obvious reasons. They are in their late teens. We don't live in DC, so it is illegal where we live.

As for the lounging on the couch, this was not Christmas morning, but Christmas evening after dinner (they arrived around 3 pm Christmas Day). The boy was acting extremely rude slouching down on the couch with his feet up and not engaging with the group. I actually think he is depressed, which makes it sad, but still feel his parents should have corrected the behavior.

No I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to cause an argument on Christmas Day. Also considering that their mom (my sister-in-law) was trashed from drinking too much wine, bring up the issue would probably have created more drama that I didn't want to expose my kids to. They were clueless as to what was going on, and I consider that a good thing.

I still don't think bringing up the issue now is going to do any good. If they plan another visit, I will bring it up then. I don't think saying the boys are not invited is going to do anything good for my relationship with my brother, so I will just set the ground rules for the visit before they come.

Thanks to those who gave thoughtful input. And for those who called me a prude, I got a good chuckle. You don't know anything about me. What I do around my kids vs. what I do with a group of adults only are two different things. I expect the same from my adult nephews.

Your explanation doesn't help anything and now I have to agree with PP that you need a surgeon to help you remove that stick up your ass. Slouching and not engaging is NOT a problem. He's a moody teen. His parents don't need to correct anything. YOU need to correct yourself and your idiotic demands that a teenage boy not get comfortable on the couch and interact with the group.

Also, they were smart enough to go away from your house and away from your kids. Sorry, grinch, but you can't dictate anything about what they can and can't do when they are NOT in your house and they have actually made an effort to go AWAY from your house. WTF is wrong with you? You ARE a prude and between your two posts, we know all that we need to know about you.

OP here. Thank you for sharing your standpoint. I have to say I do not agree with you though. Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell their parents they are not invited back due to the use of illegal drugs at your home.

+1

That is what I would do.

Where do you live? Not illegal in DC.

NP here. I don't EFFIN' care if it's illegal or legal. In MY HOME, with MY KIDS in the house, NOBODY may use it. Which the nephews full on should know, because they HID IT. that is, if they thought it was ok to do, they would have lit up right in the living room. So you don't need to feel that you had to "address in advance" that nobody should use drugs. Illegal or not.

So now you address it. previous posters have suggested better ways than I can (we've been thinking about it, didn't want to talk in front of others, but your children aren't allowed back if they are going to use any type of drugs while they are guests in my home.) I'd be hard pressed to act civil.

Frankly, I think I would hvae taken the little brats (and even if they are 28 and 29 years old, they are acting like brats) outside and told them that what they did was unacceptable, so they should now try to fix it by going up to the bedroom they were staying in and stay there until they are straight. And if that means they missed a meal, so be it.

God, people are crazy, talking about whather it's "legal or illegal" because you do not do not live in DC. Who cares? This is YOUR HOME and you don't need to put up with kids being high in your home. You don't need to put up with your sister and brother doing it, either, by the way, even though they are adults, etc.

Frankly, I'd also say "if your sons can't promise to stay clean during their entire stay at our home, then they aren't welcome." and, yes, expect push back but who cares?

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I probably should have clarified that the boys did not smoke right outside the house, but walked a few doors down and smoked in front of my neighbor's house. Either way, I find it unacceptable behavior for obvious reasons. They are in their late teens. We don't live in DC, so it is illegal where we live.

As for the lounging on the couch, this was not Christmas morning, but Christmas evening after dinner (they arrived around 3 pm Christmas Day). The boy was acting extremely rude slouching down on the couch with his feet up and not engaging with the group. I actually think he is depressed, which makes it sad, but still feel his parents should have corrected the behavior.

No I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to cause an argument on Christmas Day. Also considering that their mom (my sister-in-law) was trashed from drinking too much wine, bring up the issue would probably have created more drama that I didn't want to expose my kids to. They were clueless as to what was going on, and I consider that a good thing.

I still don't think bringing up the issue now is going to do any good. If they plan another visit, I will bring it up then. I don't think saying the boys are not invited is going to do anything good for my relationship with my brother, so I will just set the ground rules for the visit before they come.

Thanks to those who gave thoughtful input. And for those who called me a prude, I got a good chuckle. You don't know anything about me. What I do around my kids vs. what I do with a group of adults only are two different things. I expect the same from my adult nephews.

Your explanation doesn't help anything and now I have to agree with PP that you need a surgeon to help you remove that stick up your ass. Slouching and not engaging is NOT a problem. He's a moody teen. His parents don't need to correct anything. YOU need to correct yourself and your idiotic demands that a teenage boy not get comfortable on the couch and interact with the group.

Also, they were smart enough to go away from your house and away from your kids. Sorry, grinch, but you can't dictate anything about what they can and can't do when they are NOT in your house and they have actually made an effort to go AWAY from your house. WTF is wrong with you? You ARE a prude and between your two posts, we know all that we need to know about you.

NP. Methinks you are just like the parents of the rude pothead teens or just another moody teen who likes to toke. And yes, she can dictate what they do outside of their house if they return in an altered state of mind...especially if it involves illegal substances. Go back to your bowl.