Ritual of "gratefulness" when outsiders are present. Isn't this unbearable?

[Anonymous]

I am grateful that, at maximum, DJT will only have four years as President.

[Anonymous]

I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

Still have both of your parents, OP? Siblings all living? Everyone in good health? No one killed in a plane crash or die a horrific disease-filled death? Get something like that into your life and you might find that taking one freaking moment to remember that despite terrible things you still have so very much to be grateful for is not such an imposition.

My father is dead. My DH is dying. I am grateful every freaking minute that I had them in my life, and that my DH is still here. And that my mother is still here. And that I am healthy and able to take care of them. And that my sister's children are all healthy and thriving. And I am grateful that I am now aware to embrace it all this moment, because any of them can be gone in an instant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

Still have both of your parents, OP? Siblings all living? Everyone in good health? No one killed in a plane crash or die a horrific disease-filled death? Get something like that into your life and you might find that taking one freaking moment to remember that despite terrible things you still have so very much to be grateful for is not such an imposition.

My father is dead. My DH is dying. I am grateful every freaking minute that I had them in my life, and that my DH is still here. And that my mother is still here. And that I am healthy and able to take care of them. And that my sister's children are all healthy and thriving. And I am grateful that I am now aware to embrace it all this moment, because any of them can be gone in an instant.

I am so sorry. Sending you love and light from far across the country. And affirming peace for you and for your husband. I hope you are reaching out for help and support. Family is wonderful, but sometimes it's easier to share the heaviness of grief with an outsider. Hospice holds grief support and caregiver support groups. Be so gentle with yourself. You do not have to walk this path alone.

Your gratitude is inspiring and truly will help as you move through the grief process. I Am grateful to you for sharing your story. Many people need to understand that despite circumstances, there is always something to be grateful for. I don't know your faith journey, but I am holding you in prayer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

Still have both of your parents, OP? Siblings all living? Everyone in good health? No one killed in a plane crash or die a horrific disease-filled death? Get something like that into your life and you might find that taking one freaking moment to remember that despite terrible things you still have so very much to be grateful for is not such an imposition.

My father is dead. My DH is dying. I am grateful every freaking minute that I had them in my life, and that my DH is still here. And that my mother is still here. And that I am healthy and able to take care of them. And that my sister's children are all healthy and thriving. And I am grateful that I am now aware to embrace it all this moment, because any of them can be gone in an instant.

I nearly died in 2016, we've had too many funerals recently in the family. Do what you want in private, by all means. But going around the table gabbing about how grateful you are in front of guests and expecting everyone to join in is not courteous, period. I'm grateful to be alive and enjoy my kids, and my feelings are not less deep and sincere just because I don't want to emote in front of everybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

Still have both of your parents, OP? Siblings all living? Everyone in good health? No one killed in a plane crash or die a horrific disease-filled death? Get something like that into your life and you might find that taking one freaking moment to remember that despite terrible things you still have so very much to be grateful for is not such an imposition.

My father is dead. My DH is dying. I am grateful every freaking minute that I had them in my life, and that my DH is still here. And that my mother is still here. And that I am healthy and able to take care of them. And that my sister's children are all healthy and thriving. And I am grateful that I am now aware to embrace it all this moment, because any of them can be gone in an instant.

I nearly died in 2016, we've had too many funerals recently in the family. Do what you want in private, by all means. But going around the table gabbing about how grateful you are in front of guests and expecting everyone to join in is not courteous, period. I'm grateful to be alive and enjoy my kids, and my feelings are not less deep and sincere just because I don't want to emote in front of everybody.

Then don't. My father's wife's family does this and I listen but don't contribute and nobody cares, they all love me, but my needs should not trump those of the majority in their own home. THAT is not courteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

Still have both of your parents, OP? Siblings all living? Everyone in good health? No one killed in a plane crash or die a horrific disease-filled death? Get something like that into your life and you might find that taking one freaking moment to remember that despite terrible things you still have so very much to be grateful for is not such an imposition.

My father is dead. My DH is dying. I am grateful every freaking minute that I had them in my life, and that my DH is still here. And that my mother is still here. And that I am healthy and able to take care of them. And that my sister's children are all healthy and thriving. And I am grateful that I am now aware to embrace it all this moment, because any of them can be gone in an instant.

I nearly died in 2016, we've had too many funerals recently in the family. Do what you want in private, by all means. But going around the table gabbing about how grateful you are in front of guests and expecting everyone to join in is not courteous, period. I'm grateful to be alive and enjoy my kids, and my feelings are not less deep and sincere just because I don't want to emote in front of everybody.

Then don't. My father's wife's family does this and I listen but don't contribute and nobody cares, they all love me, but my needs should not trump those of the majority in their own home. THAT is not courteous.

I agree with this. You can politely decline to participate. But, when you accept an invite to be apart of a families traditions over the holidays, you agree to be apart of their traditions. Otherwise, don't accept the invite. I think that it is discourteous to go into someone's home, after they were gracious enough to invite you, and then bitch about their traditions on an anonymous message board. The OP lacks class. She probably accepted the invite so that she had somewhere to be on the holidays and got a free meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if OP is cynical about this, it's a sign that she has not yet encountered something that has shaken her foundations enough to realize how important it is to be grateful for what she has.

This is so very true. On the upside, having gone through that, I am happier now that I feel gratitude for what I have.

[Anonymous]

I gather you're single and childless? Others' appreciation of their families bothers you to no end? Well, maybe it's time to start dating and get that baby thing going. Otherwise, you'll hate your family even more as you get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his wife do something similar but, they ask their guests to say what was a "thorn" about their day and what was a "rose" ( bad thing/good thing)

Personally, we don't do this but, when I am eating dinner at his house I gamely go along. It is nice to give pause and think what was good and bad and it is a good conversation starter.

I heard this was a Jewish practice, no?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're expected to deeply emote while visiting someone's home. You can keep it a bit lighter. No need to make a federal case out of it.

[Anonymous]

+1 op. It is rude to put anyone on the spot (shower hostesses- this is you too with the games or on demand creative sayings, etc). Multiplied by 100 when you are hosting them in your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 op. It is rude to put anyone on the spot (shower hostesses- this is you too with the games or on demand creative sayings, etc). Multiplied by 100 when you are hosting them in your home.

Nope, when in Rome...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 op. It is rude to put anyone on the spot (shower hostesses- this is you too with the games or on demand creative sayings, etc). Multiplied by 100 when you are hosting them in your home.

Nope, when in Rome...

+1. If you don't like it, LEAVE. But to bitch about someone's traditions is rude and ungrateful. Anyone who can't see that lacks class. No one FORCED you to accept their invitation, eat their food, and spend time with THEIR family.

Here's my family traditions, I am not going to CHANGE my family traditions because I have guests. Anyone who is annoyed by our family traditions can leave at anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his wife do something similar but, they ask their guests to say what was a "thorn" about their day and what was a "rose" ( bad thing/good thing)

Personally, we don't do this but, when I am eating dinner at his house I gamely go along. It is nice to give pause and think what was good and bad and it is a good conversation starter.

I heard this was a Jewish practice, no?

Not that I am aware of (jewelry here)

[Anonymous]

Lol--- Jew