I met my date's kid after a month and not sure how I feel, should I continue things?

[Anonymous]

I can't be friends with someone whose parenting I don't respect. I am married, but probably couldn't date someone whose parenting I didn't respect either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP. No kids, but you're the bestest parent ever, aren't you?

One doesn't have to be a parent to get a negative vibe from the way a parent interacts with their child. There are many nuances you can get that are impossible to put into words that accurately convey the feeling you had. Women have instincts and it sounds like OP's gut is telling her this is not the guy. I've seen men interact with their kids in a way that reminds me how incredibly grateful I am that my dh is a fantastic dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP. No kids, but you're the bestest parent ever, aren't you?

One doesn't have to be a parent to get a negative vibe from the way a parent interacts with their child. There are many nuances you can get that are impossible to put into words that accurately convey the feeling you had. Women have instincts and it sounds like OP's gut is telling her this is not the guy. I've seen men interact with their kids in a way that reminds me how incredibly grateful I am that my dh is a fantastic dad.

Absolutely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I broke up with a man with 3 young kids and separated 6 minthswho wanted me to meet his kids after 3 dates. Poor kids,they were still reeling from the breakup if their family. Way too early to meet dates!

So why didn't you just refuse to meet the kids at the time.

What are you looking for, the wisest person who ever lived?

Omg, did she say whether she did or didn't meet the kids at the time, or do you want to assume she did so you can judge her? You aren't the wisest person who ever lived, lol, but you may be the bitchiest.

I assumed that she broke up with him because he had bad judgement in suggesting that she meet the kids after just 3 dates. I think it is a fair assumption given the little information.

So I asked why she couldn't just say "no" to meeting the kids and continue seeing the guy until she thought it was a good time to meet them.

I may be the bitchiest, but her story was very incomplete then(I just read her recent additions), and my conclusions based on the little information she provided made sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I broke up with a man with 3 young kids and separated 6 minthswho wanted me to meet his kids after 3 dates. Poor kids,they were still reeling from the breakup if their family. Way too early to meet dates!

So why didn't you just refuse to meet the kids at the time.

What are you looking for, the wisest person who ever lived?

Omg, did she say whether she did or didn't meet the kids at the time, or do you want to assume she did so you can judge her? You aren't the wisest person who ever lived, lol, but you may be the bitchiest.

I assumed that she broke up with him because he had bad judgement in suggesting that she meet the kids after just 3 dates. I think it is a fair assumption given the little information.

So I asked why she couldn't just say "no" to meeting the kids and continue seeing the guy until she thought it was a good time to meet them.

I may be the bitchiest, but her story was very incomplete then(I just read her recent additions), and my conclusions based on the little information she provided made sense.

My comment was mostly directed towards the bolded. Do you talk that way irl?

[Anonymous]

If you have experience with kids you can trust what you saw. It sounds unhealthy - not abusive, but not the way I would want my children talked to. The fact that he sees his son once every other week and used one of those visits to spend time with you tells me he's not a hands on father - no wonder his parenting skills are sub-par - and all of this combined would be a big ol' NOPE for me. End it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP. No kids, but you're the bestest parent ever, aren't you?

One doesn't have to be a parent to get a negative vibe from the way a parent interacts with their child. There are many nuances you can get that are impossible to put into words that accurately convey the feeling you had. Women have instincts and it sounds like OP's gut is telling her this is not the guy. I've seen men interact with their kids in a way that reminds me how incredibly grateful I am that my dh is a fantastic dad.

Absolutely agree.

This.

I'm not a parent and I'm sure if I were I'd encounter some surprises. But I have decades of experience working with hundreds and hundreds of children; I can tell very quickly into an interaction how the adult relates to children. This does not require one to be a parent.

Would you want your surgeon to have experienced open heart surgery before you'd trust their judgment to operate? There are other ways people gain experience other than reproducing.

[Anonymous]

Op here, my step dad was and still can be abusive, so I do scrutinize a man's character a bit more due to that. I don't think I'm being harsh, but he has treated me nicely so far and there hasn't been any red flags other than this.

[Anonymous]

Red flag about his judgment--introducing a young child to a date only a few dates in. And you're uncomfortable with how he interacts with his child.

He's not for you.