One child substantially more attractive than the other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh don't worry about it. Lots of cute kids grow into plain adults and vice versa. If you've ever looked at celeb baby/kid pictures, you would know this.

Yeay look at Ryan Seacrest, Blake Shelton + Jamie Foxx as kids.
They had faces only a Mother could love.

Now?
Just smoking hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh don't worry about it. Lots of cute kids grow into plain adults and vice versa. If you've ever looked at celeb baby/kid pictures, you would know this.

Yeay look at Ryan Seacrest, Blake Shelton + Jamie Foxx as kids.
They had faces only a Mother could love.

Now?
Just smoking hot.

Is this post satire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh don't worry about it. Lots of cute kids grow into plain adults and vice versa. If you've ever looked at celeb baby/kid pictures, you would know this.

This is more likely to happen to boys than to girls. Also there is less consensus in respect to make vs female attractiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, there are things to think about here. I have two girls- both adults now. Both had gifts of different things, difficulties in different ways. It is astonishing to see how the world views a beautiful child/girl/woman. Astonishing. Youngest daughter was a stunning baby, child, teenager, and now is a very attractive woman,but not really anything super unusual now. Her sister was not ugly by any means, but next to her younger sister, I guess others viewed it differently...she appeared plain. As an adult woman,many find her to be attractive, but in a much different way. One has maybe a more classic beauty, and the other a more ethereal look . My husband and I are just acceptable-looking folk- nothing outstanding in any one way.

I have to say, the attention that the younger one received in larger picture,outside of our home, was unbelievable. Unbelievable. we would be stopped everywhere and this child was lavished with coochy coos, comments, hugs, etc. She would be asked if she wanted a treat at stores, talked to , provided with gifts....all in front of her older sister-with little or no attention offered to her. My friends commiserated with my observation, but always added " You are just going to have to get used to this- she's always going to get attention like this- what can you say to people- offer my OTHER daughter a piece of cookie, too?" Well, yeah, I can, but really I couldn't change the world. We did play up the aspect of personality over appearances at home, but the world, magazines, and the media,and other people gave different lessons. I had little control over that.

Quite apart from the issue of the two daughters and their feelings toward each other, I soon learned that being beautiful in this society also comes with a huge price tag. It's a lot of stress keeping up appearances to suit what one thinks they owe to people. That sounds odd, but a young girl doesn't have the wherewithall to understand society's needs, however shallow. She only knows what her interaction is. If one grows up and is regaled for something one has no control over, really, one will have to work to make sure they continually provide this form of currency because they feel that might be their worth..despite anything we did or said to disavow it. She was able to write life checks that she could not cash...and it cost her dearly in some ways. It was more of a curse than anything. Older daughter played up her smarts-realized that she might never achieve the goal of society, and managed with a mindset that worked for her, but I believe she had less self confidence and used her smarts in good ways, but in some poor ways... she found that people could be manipulated. (Think: the middle girl in Modern Family.)

We focused on giving to others, to charity, to helping others. We played down clothes and makeup as much as we could considering they were both teenagers at one point and enjoyed that. Perhaps we could have done more in that department, but I'm, not sure how. Social media was not a thing then, thank goodness.

They were close always, but adulthood and some issues have recently brought to light some unresolved resentments....even today in their late 30s. I wish I could give actual advice. I cannot, but I do acknowledge your concern, because you can already see how this may affect your girls down the road. We live in a lookist world, like it or not.

This is just so sad to read. I can already feel my heart breaking for my "plain" daughter as she gets older and becomes more aware of how cute people think her sister is. Is there ANY way to respond to these people who fuss over the "cute" one and ignore her sister? I have considered asking the girls to go stand a few feet away and then ripping these people a new a$$hole. I don't care if they "mean well", they are thoughtless and rude and their idiocy has real consequences.

[Anonymous]

If the discrepancy is obvious, you will have to address OP. I was the ugly daughter. People told me to my face "That is your sister? What happened to you?". I did grow into myself at 30 years old. I also was considered smart though--so I have a PhD, am married, have kids. My sister has worked really hard to maintain her looks, has an eating disorder, is married to a man who is mentally ill and home schools her kids while working full time. I think she had it worse in some ways. Honestly, I think if my mother had spoken frankly to us about it, we would have both coped better. Side note: neither of is close to our mother. My sister especially hates her. Come up with a strategy and be supportive of both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh don't worry about it. Lots of cute kids grow into plain adults and vice versa. If you've ever looked at celeb baby/kid pictures, you would know this.

Yeay look at Ryan Seacrest, Blake Shelton + Jamie Foxx as kids.
They had faces only a Mother could love.

Now?
Just smoking hot.

Is this post satire?

Google current pics of the actor who played Neville Long bottom in Harry Potter. Damn.

[Anonymous]

Only ugly people worry about looks(Mr.pretty kids make ugly adults.Didn't get a glow up yet?) and also some of you should not be parents...idk how people are this dumb but you are

[Anonymous]

Maybe just respond back: “We consider our inner beauty (intelligence, kindness, whatever) much more important than outer beauty.” And walk away. Don’t let your cute daughter take the cookie!

[Anonymous]

We’re in a similar position. We never talk about “looks” to either child and change the subject when anyone comments on older child’s looks by adding, “Larla is a very kind child just like her sister which is much more important”.

[Anonymous]

Posters an attack OP and call her names but unless you experienced having a gorgeous sibling when you’re just average won’t get it.

My younger sister is stunningly beautiful and always was. I can’t begin to tell you how hurtful it was to me to constantly hear how beautiful she was and then hear nothing about me. Please stop people from making comments like that for both of your children’s sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only ugly people worry about looks(Mr.pretty kids make ugly adults.Didn't get a glow up yet?) and also some of you should not be parents...idk how people are this dumb but you are

Wow, Skippy, I’d check my grammar and punctuation before calling anyone else dumb if I were you. Or quit drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only ugly people worry about looks(Mr.pretty kids make ugly adults.Didn't get a glow up yet?) and also some of you should not be parents...idk how people are this dumb but you are

YOU are pretty dumb to resurrect a 5 year old thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know how to say this, but it's becoming relatively obvious that one of my children is much more attractive than the other. My oldest is classically attractive, just got lucky in the gene pool I suppose. She is more attractive than either DH or myself, definitely. The younger, not so much. It's like one is a combination of our worst features and the other is a combination of our best. Just wondering how to handle this if anyone has a similar situation. I am almost afraid that someone else will comment on it.. seems like it's so blatant that it's only a matter of time, and that makes me so sad.

We have that, but it because one is beautiful and the other is ridiculously beautiful. The one that is “just” beautiful is doing fine.

Learn how to enhance what your child does have. It might be a great smile with teeth that you invest a lot it. It could be a flattering hair style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only ugly people worry about looks(Mr.pretty kids make ugly adults.Didn't get a glow up yet?) and also some of you should not be parents...idk how people are this dumb but you are

YOU are pretty dumb to resurrect a 5 year old thread.

ppl do it to stir the pot. its so odd.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of "Northanger Abbey" and one of my favorite Jane Austen lines:
“‘Catherine grows quite a good-looking girl, — she is almost pretty today,’ were words which caught her ears now and then; and how welcome were the sounds! To look almost pretty, is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain the first fifteen years of her life, than a beauty from the cradle can ever receive.”