Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

Have you ever been to a Southern Baptist youth group meeting? I grew up in that mess. It really screwed me up for a long time. Southern Baptist services end with a bizzare alter call every week. It's the opposite of what a Christian church should look like. I could see how it would make a child uncomfortable. I'm an adult and a Christian and it creeps me out. The only time I go to my parents' church is when I absolutely have no choice- weddings, funerals, stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?

You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured.

+1

This family was doing you, and/or your mom, a FAVOR, OP. Are you so ungracious for their hospitality that this is what you remember?

Wow. Just Wow. I was a teenager. There were no diapers to change and we went to the same school and soccer practice (so its not like they had to go out of their way). So because they were doing me a "favor" its ok that they forced me to go to their church and bible study even after I said I was uncomfortable?

So you were fine accepting their hospitality in the form of meals, lodging and security for 3 days but when they tried to "treat you like family," you decide that you prefer the motel method? Yes, op, they had every right to expect that you would participate in family activities, I assume with their daughter who was your friend. If you or your mother had a problem with it, you should have made other arrangements. The fact that you still remember every detail so many years later says something about you, not them. And it's not positive.

Which part of "respecting personal boundaries" is such an alien language to crazy evangelical Christians?

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's a private hospital, they can do what they want. If PP doesn't like it, there are plenty of other hospitals in DC. Some of you are such entitled babies. They aren't going to change 140 years of tradition just because PP doesn't feel like changing her commute, or wants their higher pay without any trade offs, or something.

Can you point to the exact wording in my post (I'm the nurse) where I say that I'm entitled to a single thing?

I'm answering the OPs question. By dint of switching from the oncology unit, where no forced prayer occurred, to the orthopedic unit in the same hospital, I have been forced after-the-fact into an uncomfortable religious situation. The way out is to leave the unit. Got it. Not difficult to grasp.

Ugh, give us a break. A little judgement might have helped you here, but apparently your judgement is clouded by self-absorption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

protip: "uncomfortable religious situation" isn't limited to acts of religious violence. Just like racism isn't limited to overt slurs or lynching.

They certainly aren't. And this still doesn't qualify.

[Anonymous]

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

This is hysterical.

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please. These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

protip: "uncomfortable religious situation" isn't limited to acts of religious violence. Just like racism isn't limited to overt slurs or lynching.

They certainly aren't. And this still doesn't qualify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

Have you ever been to a Southern Baptist youth group meeting? I grew up in that mess. It really screwed me up for a long time. Southern Baptist services end with a bizzare alter call every week. It's the opposite of what a Christian church should look like. I could see how it would make a child uncomfortable. I'm an adult and a Christian and it creeps me out. The only time I go to my parents' church is when I absolutely have no choice- weddings, funerals, stuff like that.

I hear you but she didn't describe an altar call or revival type experience. She's most bothered that they didn't ask their 15 year old guest if she wanted to go with them or stay unsupervised in their home. That doesn't seem like a reasonable expectation to have of that family.

[Anonymous]

I went to visit a friend when I was 18. She lived with her very religious aunt and uncle. I had to go to church and bible study while I was there, and was expected to take part in religious discussions at the dinner table. I had taken a Danielle Steele book with me but I wasn't allowed to read it at their house.

I hadn't been to church in years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

Have you ever been to a Southern Baptist youth group meeting? I grew up in that mess. It really screwed me up for a long time. Southern Baptist services end with a bizzare alter call every week. It's the opposite of what a Christian church should look like. I could see how it would make a child uncomfortable. I'm an adult and a Christian and it creeps me out. The only time I go to my parents' church is when I absolutely have no choice- weddings, funerals, stuff like that.

I hear you but she didn't describe an altar call or revival type experience. She's most bothered that they didn't ask their 15 year old guest if she wanted to go with them or stay unsupervised in their home. That doesn't seem like a reasonable expectation to have of that family.

Once again:

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please". These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

I left when they started playing with the snakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

This is hysterical.

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please. These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

I'm Jewish, and when my brother needed surgery while my dad was traveling, my mom stayed with my brother in the hospital and shipped me two blocks away to a neighbor who is Catholic and has two daughters. They prayed at each meal, thanking Jesus for it. I sat quietly. The second night the dad asked me, "Jess, is there a jewish prayer to say before a meal?" and I thought for a second. "There IS!" And they all smiled and we all joined hands again even though that's not how jews pray, and I stumbled through the Hebrew prayer you say before eating, and they all said Amen. So I started saying Amen after their jesus prayer, even though I wouldn't pray to Jesus. Come Friday after school, the mom asked me "Do you need to go to temple tonight? Because I can send you with Rachel?" and I told her no, I could skip it, and she said "And I think we'll skip church on Sunday morning as well."

Two months later they invited me over to come decorate the Christmas tree. I invited them over to do the first night of Hanukah candles with us.

Four months later at the end of our Passover seder my mother sent me two blocks to their house with all our leftover hard-boiled eggs for them to paint for Easter. I feel like THIS is how a friendship between two religions should go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

This is hysterical.

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please. These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

I'm Jewish, and when my brother needed surgery while my dad was traveling, my mom stayed with my brother in the hospital and shipped me two blocks away to a neighbor who is Catholic and has two daughters. They prayed at each meal, thanking Jesus for it. I sat quietly. The second night the dad asked me, "Jess, is there a jewish prayer to say before a meal?" and I thought for a second. "There IS!" And they all smiled and we all joined hands again even though that's not how jews pray, and I stumbled through the Hebrew prayer you say before eating, and they all said Amen. So I started saying Amen after their jesus prayer, even though I wouldn't pray to Jesus. Come Friday after school, the mom asked me "Do you need to go to temple tonight? Because I can send you with Rachel?" and I told her no, I could skip it, and she said "And I think we'll skip church on Sunday morning as well."

Two months later they invited me over to come decorate the Christmas tree. I invited them over to do the first night of Hanukah candles with us.

Four months later at the end of our Passover seder my mother sent me two blocks to their house with all our leftover hard-boiled eggs for them to paint for Easter. I feel like THIS is how a friendship between two religions should go.

How lovely!

[Anonymous]

I'm Jewish, and my best friend in high school was Southern Baptist. I went to church with her one day, and felt pretty comfortable there; I prayed silently in my own way, and went along with standing, sitting, etc when appropriate. After church, we went to Bible study, because she wanted me to meet a boy she was thinking about asking to our school's homecoming. Before we went in, she warned me, "hey, [boy's name] likes to make Jew jokes, so if he says anything, just don't say you're Jewish, okay?" Those were some true colors.

DH (an atheist) and I went to a wedding of one of his friends from work. It was a slightly Christian service, no big, but when we got to the homily, the minister said, "A & B chose this passage because it sounds like it's about people's love for each other. But really, it's about Jesus. Jesus is the tree to whom all righteous people cling. If you don't cling to his branches, you fall to hell." AT A WEDDING! We looked up and down our row at all of the Jews and atheists, and felt so embarrassed!

I grew up going to lots of different kinds of services; my temple even took us to different places of worship in 7th grade so we'd know what else was out there before committing to our bar & bat mitzvot. I never felt less welcome or more offended than I did in those two circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that going to church twice while you were being hosted by another family counts as a truly uncomfortable religious situation.

Have you ever been to a Southern Baptist youth group meeting? I grew up in that mess. It really screwed me up for a long time. Southern Baptist services end with a bizzare alter call every week. It's the opposite of what a Christian church should look like. I could see how it would make a child uncomfortable. I'm an adult and a Christian and it creeps me out. The only time I go to my parents' church is when I absolutely have no choice- weddings, funerals, stuff like that.

I hear you but she didn't describe an altar call or revival type experience. She's most bothered that they didn't ask their 15 year old guest if she wanted to go with them or stay unsupervised in their home. That doesn't seem like a reasonable expectation to have of that family.

Once again:

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please". These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

You've missed the point, but by all means continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nurse. Every morning at 0700 during a mandatory morning huddle, I have to listen to a prayer (or pray, that's the other option). The prayer varies by the day and is never a generic "lord, let us do good, amen" sort of affair. Always very long, detailed, and packed with extremely reverent and humble offerings to a specific deity.

I cannot opt out of morning huddle and I cannot just pop in and out for the prayer part because it's sandwiched in between concrete medical information I must have for the day.

This is at a hospital that is VERY loosely affiliated with a particular religion and so my recourse is to quit. If it was a state hospital — say, the Univ. of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore — I'd take a different approach to this uncomfortable situation. But because a particular religion founded this hospital 140 years ago, that's their basis for forcing prayer in 2016 although nothing in their mission statement, etc, has anything to do w. religion at this time.

Don't work at a religous based hospital if you want the world sanitized of religion. This one is quite simple and very different from the other examples.

Thanks for repeating what I, PP, already said in my post!

Yeah, why not ask the nurse to quit her salaried position with benefits in a bad economy when she has rent to pay and possibly kids to feed? In no way should her civil rights be respected.

Getting sexually harassed at work? Well don't work at that place if you want to make a stand against sexual harassment. Starve on the streets for your principles!

Getting racially discriminated against at work? Well don't work at that place if you want to make a stand against racism. Starve on the streets for your principles!

Getting religiously discriminated against at work? ...oh wait.

You are being silly PP.

Complaining about a prayer tradition at a religiously founded hospital is like choosing to work at a Catholic school and complaining about having to go to Mass, or choosing to work as a secretary at an Islamic center then complaining about having to wear a hijab.