Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this counts but if we visit my ILs over Christmas I am expected to go to Catholic mass. If it were literally any other religious denomination I would be okay with this— I’ve been to lots of Christian and Jewish services with friends (weddings but also sometimes regular services) and am generally respectful and even interested in other people’s faith systems even though I am agnostic.

But I was raised Catholic and believe the Catholic Church is a corrupt and abusive organization and I feel extremely uncomfortable attending services there.

Fortunately my DH is understanding (he’s also agnostic even though he was raised Catholic) so we almost never spend Christmas with them. But I know it bugs his mom. I think a lot of people assume “oh a lapsed Catholic, that’s normal” but I don’t consider myself “lapsed”. The second I had any say in my religious affiliation I got as far away from Catholicism as I could. I chose not to be confirmed.

Cool story bro. No, it doesn’t count because you aren’t going to church. Why don’t you save your journey to atheism for the “I hate Catholics” thread where you might find somebody who’s interested.

[Anonymous]

In high school, a friend invited me and another mutual friend ("Katie") to a party at her church. I had a different friend who sometimes threw parties at her church, which were regular parties where she just happened to rent her church's social hall for the occasion, so I thought this would be something like that. It was not.

Her parents dropped us off in the youth service, where a Christian rock band was playing a concert and everyone was swaying and dancing in semi-darkness wearing glowstick necklaces. I was not a kid who went to concerts and the church we barely went to was traditional Protestant, so this was definitely uncomfortable for me, socially and religiously. Katie and I found our way to the wall and stood awkwardly while the friend who invited us closed her eyes and praised Jesus and sang along to all these weird songs I'd never heard. It might have just been one really long song - they all sounded the same. There were lots of other kids along the wall and then after a while, the music stopped and the youth pastor came out to give a sermon about Jesus and salvation. It turns out, everyone was supposed to invite two friends to "save" and he actually acknowledged that in his sermon and thanked the kids for bringing their friends. On the drive home, our friend and her parents asked me and Katie what we thought (I don't remember if we answered) and then talked all about how great their church is and how there's so many active teens to socialize with, unlike a lot of other churches. It was very much a "look, our church is fun and hip; there's rock music and our youth pastor is so cool and relatable" pitch. It was my first and only interaction with an evangelical mega-church and it was so uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this counts but if we visit my ILs over Christmas I am expected to go to Catholic mass. If it were literally any other religious denomination I would be okay with this— I’ve been to lots of Christian and Jewish services with friends (weddings but also sometimes regular services) and am generally respectful and even interested in other people’s faith systems even though I am agnostic.

But I was raised Catholic and believe the Catholic Church is a corrupt and abusive organization and I feel extremely uncomfortable attending services there.

Fortunately my DH is understanding (he’s also agnostic even though he was raised Catholic) so we almost never spend Christmas with them. But I know it bugs his mom. I think a lot of people assume “oh a lapsed Catholic, that’s normal” but I don’t consider myself “lapsed”. The second I had any say in my religious affiliation I got as far away from Catholicism as I could. I chose not to be confirmed.

Cool story bro. No, it doesn’t count because you aren’t going to church. Why don’t you save your journey to atheism for the “I hate Catholics” thread where you might find somebody who’s interested.

I think this story fits in here. It makes Christmas uncomfortable and cutting her ILs out of Christmas because of their church requirement sounds like it's putting a strain on the relationship overall.

PP, a few things that have worked for me when visiting my church-going family around Christmas:
Visit "on your way through town" on Christmas Eve day and leave before church that evening.
Arrive Christmas day afternoon to avoid church.
Tell them you've made other plans for the morning (find a Santa 5K to sign up for or something) and you'll look forward to seeing them later in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this counts but if we visit my ILs over Christmas I am expected to go to Catholic mass. If it were literally any other religious denomination I would be okay with this— I’ve been to lots of Christian and Jewish services with friends (weddings but also sometimes regular services) and am generally respectful and even interested in other people’s faith systems even though I am agnostic.

But I was raised Catholic and believe the Catholic Church is a corrupt and abusive organization and I feel extremely uncomfortable attending services there.

Fortunately my DH is understanding (he’s also agnostic even though he was raised Catholic) so we almost never spend Christmas with them. But I know it bugs his mom. I think a lot of people assume “oh a lapsed Catholic, that’s normal” but I don’t consider myself “lapsed”. The second I had any say in my religious affiliation I got as far away from Catholicism as I could. I chose not to be confirmed.

Cool story bro. No, it doesn’t count because you aren’t going to church. Why don’t you save your journey to atheism for the “I hate Catholics” thread where you might find somebody who’s interested.

I think this story fits in here. It makes Christmas uncomfortable and cutting her ILs out of Christmas because of their church requirement sounds like it's putting a strain on the relationship overall.

PP, a few things that have worked for me when visiting my church-going family around Christmas:
Visit "on your way through town" on Christmas Eve day and leave before church that evening.
Arrive Christmas day afternoon to avoid church.
Tell them you've made other plans for the morning (find a Santa 5K to sign up for or something) and you'll look forward to seeing them later in the day.

But spare us “here’s why I hate Catholics and Catholicism” for the umpteenth time. That didn’t belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this counts but if we visit my ILs over Christmas I am expected to go to Catholic mass. If it were literally any other religious denomination I would be okay with this— I’ve been to lots of Christian and Jewish services with friends (weddings but also sometimes regular services) and am generally respectful and even interested in other people’s faith systems even though I am agnostic.

But I was raised Catholic and believe the Catholic Church is a corrupt and abusive organization and I feel extremely uncomfortable attending services there.

Fortunately my DH is understanding (he’s also agnostic even though he was raised Catholic) so we almost never spend Christmas with them. But I know it bugs his mom. I think a lot of people assume “oh a lapsed Catholic, that’s normal” but I don’t consider myself “lapsed”. The second I had any say in my religious affiliation I got as far away from Catholicism as I could. I chose not to be confirmed.

I guess you didn’t stay long enough to know that “Mass” is capitalized, or that no Catholic ever described what we do as “services.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this counts but if we visit my ILs over Christmas I am expected to go to Catholic mass. If it were literally any other religious denomination I would be okay with this— I’ve been to lots of Christian and Jewish services with friends (weddings but also sometimes regular services) and am generally respectful and even interested in other people’s faith systems even though I am agnostic.

But I was raised Catholic and believe the Catholic Church is a corrupt and abusive organization and I feel extremely uncomfortable attending services there.

Fortunately my DH is understanding (he’s also agnostic even though he was raised Catholic) so we almost never spend Christmas with them. But I know it bugs his mom. I think a lot of people assume “oh a lapsed Catholic, that’s normal” but I don’t consider myself “lapsed”. The second I had any say in my religious affiliation I got as far away from Catholicism as I could. I chose not to be confirmed.

I guess you didn’t stay long enough to know that “Mass” is capitalized, or that no Catholic ever described what we do as “services.”

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Jewish and have spent time with Catholics and people of lots of other religions. It's mostly gone swimmingly. We used to host a Passover seder and we fell into an unintentional habit of always inviting someone who wasn't Jewish. Once it was my Italian friend in high school, once it was my brother's Indian friend in college, etc.

When I went to college, I didn't drink (not for religious reasons) and all the other girls on my floor were big partiers. The RA hated me - I think they all thought I looked down on them? But she scheduled a mandatory floor meeting at a dining hall during Yom Kippur, when I was fasting. I went to her and said due to religious reasons I wouldn't be able to attend, and she made a big deal about "You may only be a freshman but you should learn in your English 101 class what mandatory means, you're going to get in huge trouble and possibly kicked out of school if you don't show, etc."

I got so worried I went to the RA in another building - he was really cool and we'd become friendly - to talk with him about it. He laughed and was like "Come hang out with me that day. So we sat on his bed all day on Yom Kippur talking and listening to Janet Jackson. I did NOT get kicked out of school for missing the meeting and my RA never said a word about it to me.

Later, before winter break, she had a floor meeting. She called each girl's name one by one and handed each girl a Christmas card. Towards the end, she called my name. I went up, and she said, in front of everyone, "You know, I had a Jewish kid last year who I gave a Christmas card to, and she got all bent out of shape about it, so I didn't get you one so you wouldn't be offended." Everyone laughed as I sat back down.

I haven't thought of that in DECADES! Damn, she was ignorant!

This is so so terrible. I’m sorry.

Blah Blah Blah. My Catholic friend married a Jewish girl and her Dad made him get circumsized at 25!!!

Most baby boys are cicumcised at the hosp, irrespective of religion.

This is BS. Most of boys are not circumcised, but a nice try to push your Jewish brutal tradition around.

[Anonymous]

My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

It was left to me. I never wanted it. It’s a symbol of lies, slavery, oppression of minorities and women, bigotry, hatred, ignorance. My mom doesn’t need it. Nobody does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

It was left to me. I never wanted it. It’s a symbol of lies, slavery, oppression of minorities and women, bigotry, hatred, ignorance. My mom doesn’t need it. Nobody does.

Wow, you’re a symbol of ugly stereotypes and bigotry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

It was left to me. I never wanted it. It’s a symbol of lies, slavery, oppression of minorities and women, bigotry, hatred, ignorance. My mom doesn’t need it. Nobody does.

So you made money off it, prevented your mom from enjoying it, you know perfectly well the new user isn’t going to melt it down so this isn’t some noble deed you did, and then you came onto DCUM to spew venom.

Pat yourself on the back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

It was left to me. I never wanted it. It’s a symbol of lies, slavery, oppression of minorities and women, bigotry, hatred, ignorance. My mom doesn’t need it. Nobody does.

So you made money off it, prevented your mom from enjoying it, you know perfectly well the new user isn’t going to melt it down so this isn’t some noble deed you did, and then you came onto DCUM to spew venom.

Pat yourself on the back?

You are brainwashed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My great grandmother left me a gold cross that her grandmother had left her, despite the fact I am an atheist. My mother said to not be upset about it because gg had dementia when she passed, but I think it was just an excuse to make me uncomfortable and force religion upon me. I immediately sold it and hope it is melted down and used for something good in the world! My mom was sad and said she would have bought it from me because it was a “family heirloom,” but I think it’s good it’s out of our family.

Why do you want to deprive your mom of something she would have treasured?

It was left to me. I never wanted it. It’s a symbol of lies, slavery, oppression of minorities and women, bigotry, hatred, ignorance. My mom doesn’t need it. Nobody does.

So you made money off it, prevented your mom from enjoying it, you know perfectly well the new user isn’t going to melt it down so this isn’t some noble deed you did, and then you came onto DCUM to spew venom.

Pat yourself on the back?

You are brainwashed

Your post makes it perfectly clear what happened—reality all the way, baby.