Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into
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Anonymous
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Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again. I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us. thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function? |
Anonymous
| I am Jewish and was a foreign exchange student for a year stayin with 7th day Adventists. They made me go to church, kneel and do the whole thing. I lasted 2 months, before running to our program director, and asking to be moved. I was 14. |
Anonymous
| My aunt and uncle were/are devout Baptists. They'd ask my sister and I over for sleepovers on Saturdays but it was really just so they could bring us to church with them on Sundays (which started at 8 AM and ended at 1 PM). We'd then be singled out during the child bible study period for questioning by the teachers and direct attempts to "save" us. It took a while before we told our mom what was going on and she stopped letting us go over for any sleepovers after that. That was my first experience with religion and it took me a very long time to figure out most churches weren't like that. |
Anonymous
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I'm Jewish and have spent time with Catholics and people of lots of other religions. It's mostly gone swimmingly. We used to host a Passover seder and we fell into an unintentional habit of always inviting someone who wasn't Jewish. Once it was my Italian friend in high school, once it was my brother's Indian friend in college, etc.
When I went to college, I didn't drink (not for religious reasons) and all the other girls on my floor were big partiers. The RA hated me - I think they all thought I looked down on them? But she scheduled a mandatory floor meeting at a dining hall during Yom Kippur, when I was fasting. I went to her and said due to religious reasons I wouldn't be able to attend, and she made a big deal about "You may only be a freshman but you should learn in your English 101 class what mandatory means, you're going to get in huge trouble and possibly kicked out of school if you don't show, etc." I got so worried I went to the RA in another building - he was really cool and we'd become friendly - to talk with him about it. He laughed and was like "Come hang out with me that day. So we sat on his bed all day on Yom Kippur talking and listening to Janet Jackson. I did NOT get kicked out of school for missing the meeting and my RA never said a word about it to me. Later, before winter break, she had a floor meeting. She called each girl's name one by one and handed each girl a Christmas card. Towards the end, she called my name. I went up, and she said, in front of everyone, "You know, I had a Jewish kid last year who I gave a Christmas card to, and she got all bent out of shape about it, so I didn't get you one so you wouldn't be offended." Everyone laughed as I sat back down. I haven't thought of that in DECADES! Damn, she was ignorant! |
Anonymous
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Not the same, but it's something that really bothered me at the time and still does.
At work, the facilities manager (handles parking passes, temperature control etc) guessed I was Muslim based on my name and said he was the same religion. he bragged that he had been studying the Arabic and tried to show off with phrases (even though I am not a native speaker either). One day he tried to bully me into reciting my "favorite verse from the Quran" in Arabic. I was so flustered and uncomfortable and he wouldn't let it go. I felt like he was judging me for not remembering. I finally cut him off and made an excuse to get him to leave. This was like 3 years ago and I still feel very upset when I see him around or think about the incident. |
Anonymous
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And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?
You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured. |
Anonymous
| Room mother in Catholic school started speaking in tongues during a prayer circle. |
Anonymous
Thanks for your insightful comment. My question was to hear other's examples. As I mentioned, I just happen to be thinking about this lately and was interested in others' opinions. This a forum for discussions. Is your hobby making meaningless comments on threads you don't care about? |
Anonymous
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When I was in college, I went for a weekend visit to my close friend's home (same floor as me in our dorm) because her hometown was a one-hour drive from campus. I knew she was Christian, but I didn't know how fucking Christian. She wanted to take me to church and decided to pick out a progressive Church with a rock band (?) in order to give me a better inroad to Jesus or something, instead of her parents' very staid, we-are-wealthy-Protestants-who-burn-for-Jesus congregation.
Never asked me if I wanted to go. I was too timid to say I didn't want to go, plus I thought that somehow I would come off as the religiously intolerant one if I said no to attending her church. Worst part was, she knew how much I wasn't interested in Christianity and that I enjoyed my own private spirituality. |
Anonymous
Just ignore those idiots. They have truly nothing better to do. This thread is an important one. |
Anonymous
+1. I'm the PP whose aunt and uncle took me to their church and it took me a long time to understand that not all religious people were the kind to tell an 8 year old "you're a heathen that is going to burn in hell." I assumed, since it was my only exposure to religion, that all religious people were like that so it make me actively dislike religion and try to avoid interaction with any outwardly religious people. Had I been able to talk to others about my experience, I would have found out much sooner that what I experienced was not normal and I wouldn't have had such a visceral hatred of religion when I was younger. |
Anonymous
Op, as a teen I went to a few different churches and youth groups with friends. Most were weird and preachy, and I didn't like seeing such impressionable young teens being coerced into being saved on the spot. But it sounds like you came out of it unscathed (and unsaved  ). So I think you could look at it as a positive experience. You learned from it. And now you are aware of how to teach your own kids to handle it if they're in the same situation.
I think visiting other religions is a good thing. The more you know. |
Anonymous
+1 This family was doing you, and/or your mom, a FAVOR, OP. Are you so ungracious for their hospitality that this is what you remember? |
Anonymous
| I'm a minister and am extremely uncomfortable when we visit my parents and attend their Southern Baptist church. It's almost like I have PTSD from growing up in that church. |
Anonymous
Oh jeez, those rock and roll churches always made me the MOST uncomfortable. I felt so silly, dorky, and embarrassed for them. I grew up Catholic, and definitely have always preferred a more traditional service (even as a teen). Those churches always an obnoxious youth pastor. Nothing worse than an over enthusiastic young adult trying to prove how much they click with the kids. |