Any advice on when to start trying for a baby?
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Anonymous
Cruel is being 26 and unable to get pregnant. The "you have all the time on earth, go have a career " mantra is what's cruel. There are plenty of women who get pregnant no problem in their 30s, but I think it's putting your head in the sand to not look at the other side. I think op should try Now! |
Anonymous
| Now. |
Anonymous
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There is really never that "right or perfect" time ideally.
When it does happen, you just make it the right time. |
Anonymous
This is a good answer. If you are 35 I would not wait. I waited until everything was just right at age 36. It took us a year and two miscarriages for #1 to be conceived, and I delivered at age 38. Then when she was 18 months we wanted to try for #2 (it's generally recommended to wait 18 months minimum to have another). So I was 39 then and it has been two years of trying....7 IUIs, 4 IVFs, one pregnancy miscarried and still not successful. The immense costs of two years of infertility treatment (financial, emotional, logistical, physical) far outweigh the inconvenience of it not being an ideal time. I would definitely do it over differently if I could. |
Anonymous
| What you really need to know is that you can get through whatever this phase throws at you because you're strong and have each other. One month to conceive or five years or never--all have its ups and downs and good and bad. But you are brave and strong and it'll be great! |
Anonymous
Have you been tested for immune issues? Your story sounds like mine except I got pregnant right away at 36 and started trying for #2 the month I turned 38 and we were never successful. I got tested for immune issues and was found to have them. It's been 2 years for me and I never got pregnant even once in that time. |
Anonymous
I'm this PP. No, I haven't been tested for immune issues. I do have Hashmoto's but I'm assuming a majority of my trouble has been due to chromosomal abnormality. Two of my losses were due to tested chromosomal abnormalities, and in all of my IVFs I have only ever had one PGS normal embryo despite having very, very good yield at retrieval and decent fertilization. My embryos don't make it to blastocyst. We're trying again with very low-dose protocol and 3-day transfer instead. |
Anonymous
Since when is a 25 year old woman a teen mom? |
Anonymous
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The average 39-year-old woman has half the fertility she had at 31, and between 39 and 42, her chances of conceiving drop by half again. One quarter of women over 35 have trouble getting pregnant. In view of these hard facts, you should start trying sooner rather than later. Both of you should have your fertility tested right now so as to have a better idea of what issues, if any, you may be facing.
Good luck! |
Anonymous
Lol she must not have been doing something right. At 25, I had been working as an attorney for one year (so that takes care of making my own money,) and hadlived in Germany for three years (there's the fun part.) |
Anonymous
Oh, and had my kid at 26. |
Anonymous
| If you know you want children, don't wait. Nothing can be gained from waiting at 35 and a lot can be lost. |
Anonymous
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I'm another vote for not waiting if you know you want children and definitely start if you want more than one child. I really think of each pregnancy as a ~2 year physical commitment (10 months to gestate and a year or so of nursing - even if you don't nurse though it's just very taxing in the early days). DH and I got married at 29 and planned to wait a year to start trying. 6 months in we felt ready so we accelerated the timeline. It took us 7 months to conceive DD. After she was born we thought we wanted to start trying again around her first birthday but got gun shy when the time came. We started a few months later. It took us 11 months to conceive again and during that time I was diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve at age 33. We lost that second pregnancy in the early second trimester due to a chromosomal issue. Three months later I got pregnant again (surprise) and I'm now 11 weeks along and hoping it's healthy. If it works out I'll be 34 when I deliver.
If I were you I would read taking charge of your fertility and go off any BC you're on. The book teaches you how to track your cycle and how to get pregnant but also how to avoid an unwanted pregnancy by following your body's fertility signs and timing sex appropriately. Even if you use it as "birth control" for a while you can get a picture of where things stand for you naturally and see if medical intervention makes sense. I learned from tracking my cycles that my luteal phase is really short, meaning I start to bleed too quickly for an egg to implant. That led me to see an RE earlier than the recommended 1 year for my age group and get a workup. |
Anonymous
| Do it when you both feel ready to have a baby. Once you have a baby, you can't ever get divorced without having the other person in the picture as a coparent. Just make sure you're on solid ground, then go for it! |