Any advice on when to start trying for a baby?

[Anonymous]

I married at 28. At 31, I switched to a more family friendly job. At 32, I went off the pill and got pregnant, and had the baby at 33. The timing was great for me, because DH and I got several years together pre baby, and our careers were in a good place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The right answer is "ten years ago".

THIS

how helpful.

now go kick rocks.

Not only unhelpful, but also untrue.

Exactly. I got pregnant easily at 32 and 34, as did the majority of women I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you've been more or less living together, then count that time as building your foundation as a couple, and start sooner TTC.

Agreed. I don't know what is so different about being married than being together/engaged and living together. And presumably since you are older, you've discussed having kids, how you want to raise them, family values, etc. so there's really no need to wait.

+2

I don't know either. Nothing changed for us except the labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you've been more or less living together, then count that time as building your foundation as a couple, and start sooner TTC.

Agreed. I don't know what is so different about being married than being together/engaged and living together. And presumably since you are older, you've discussed having kids, how you want to raise them, family values, etc. so there's really no need to wait.

+2

I don't know either. Nothing changed for us except the labels.

This is true. Most folks I know who got married mid-thirties either dated for a long time or for a short amount of time (less than a year). My advice would be different depending on OP's situation. OP, how long did you date/how well is your relationship established?

[Anonymous]

I would get started right away, if I were you. I got married at 32, and my husband and I waited a year to start trying. We were super lucky and got pregnant the first month we tried. Now I'm 36 and I'm pregnant with DS2. It took us 3 months to get pregnant the second time. I have friends around my age who were super lucky like me and got pregnant right away in their mid-30s, but I also have MANY friends who tried for years and spent tens of thousands of dollars in fertility treatments. You just never know what camp you will be in. You only have one life to live and if kids are something you really want, I say make the jump and go for it. For so many of us there is never the "perfect" time.

GOOD LUCK and I hope you have an easy time whenever you decide to start trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to feel somewhat ready. And that you've experienced a lot of what you've wanted to experience, as far as the types of things that are harder with kids (travel, specific athletic endeavors, etc). All that can be done with small kids, it's a lot harder and more expensive. So I ran a marathon before I had kids, traveled to many of the places that would be hard to go with kids. And also finances- can you afford it? That was a big limiting factor for me, because I don't make tons of money.

I think these are great questions if you are mid-20s but by mid-30s, if you really want a family, you have to be willing to perhaps miss the marathon and get going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to feel somewhat ready. And that you've experienced a lot of what you've wanted to experience, as far as the types of things that are harder with kids (travel, specific athletic endeavors, etc). All that can be done with small kids, it's a lot harder and more expensive. So I ran a marathon before I had kids, traveled to many of the places that would be hard to go with kids. And also finances- can you afford it? That was a big limiting factor for me, because I don't make tons of money.

I think these are great questions if you are mid-20s but by mid-30s, if you really want a family, you have to be willing to perhaps miss the marathon and get going.

I should add, I assume you've been together a while and that I started at 34 and did not give birth until almost 37 (we started BEFORE getting married but had been together a long time).

[Anonymous]

I would try ASAP. You might get pregnant easily or it might take a long time.

I was 27 when we got married, didn't feel "ready" until I was 34, and then dealt with 2 years of infertility and treatments (conceived at 36, gave birth at 37). I wish we had started earlier - we would have still had the same fertility issues, but at least I would have been 2 years ahead of the game.

[Anonymous]

If you "feel" ready, then start now. It took me 5 years (from 33 - 38) to have my son, then I experienced secondary infertility and even IVF couldn't help us out. Then again, I have friends who conceived and gave birth in their 40s; everyone is different, but if you know you want kids -- it seems starting to try earlier is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this must be an incredibly naive question, but since so many of you have been through this process, I appreciate your experience and thoughts. I am recently married and 35 years old. I would love thoughts or advice on when to start a family. I know how personal that is, but just hearing your experience and advice can be helpful.

10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this must be an incredibly naive question, but since so many of you have been through this process, I appreciate your experience and thoughts. I am recently married and 35 years old. I would love thoughts or advice on when to start a family. I know how personal that is, but just hearing your experience and advice can be helpful.

10 years ago.

Probably more like 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I think there is way too much emphasis on feeling ready. There's never a great time to have a baby, most of us feel we need more money, more space, more seniority in our jobs, whatever it is, before trying to have kids. If you know you wants kids someday, start now. Assuming you have housing and are gainfully employed, you'll make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this must be an incredibly naive question, but since so many of you have been through this process, I appreciate your experience and thoughts. I am recently married and 35 years old. I would love thoughts or advice on when to start a family. I know how personal that is, but just hearing your experience and advice can be helpful.

10 years ago.

stop with these immature posts. She can't go back in time and have a baby 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The right answer is "ten years ago".

THIS

+1. I waited until 26, and didn't have baby until 28. My RE is seeing more and more healthy young women in their twenties with low ovarian reserve, ovulation issues, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The right answer is "ten years ago".

THIS

+1. I waited until 26, and didn't have baby until 28. My RE is seeing more and more healthy young women in their twenties with low ovarian reserve, ovulation issues, etc...

How on earth is this anything but cruel?