"I/We will never be that couple" - things that annoy you about other couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really annoying, more like I get jealous when I see a man be physically affectionate with his wife. Not making out but a hug, quick rub on the back, holding hands, etc. My husband is a great guy and loves me but he's not even a tiny bit physically affectionate and it makes me sad.

Sometimes it isn't always what it seems. While I love my wife and we do have plenty of displays of affection at home, when we are out and about, we usually hold hands (when we're not holding our preschoolers' hands. My wife is visually impaired with about 95% vision loss in her right eye and limited vision varying between 20/70 on the rare good day and about 20/250 in her left. When the lighting is wrong, she can be virtually walking in a fog, other days, she's quite fine, barring the 90 degree vision loss on her right. Her vision loss is due to a genetic disorder that is hereditary. She doesn't look particularly visually disabled and she tries to hide it when possible. So, whenever we are together, we mostly hold hands. If she holds my elbow it pretty much calls attention to the fact that something is wrong. So we hold hands like we always have done, and it looks like a PDA when it really is just me being able to help guide her so that she doesn't bump into people on her blind side or fail to notice something with her limited vision.

Sorry if that offends or annoy some of you. I also know a friend who has a bad knee that sometimes flares up at the most awkward moments. She often holds her husband's hand so that she can signal that she needs his immediate support when her knee decides that today in this hour it's going to give up for the next 30 seconds. Many people with hidden disabilities try hard not to put their disability on display and PDAs with your supportive spouse are a good way to mask an issue.

PP, it doesn't bother me. I just get jealous--I know it's my problem. And it's very sweet the way you and your DW and your friend and her DH support each other. I know it's not easy to have a disability.

[Anonymous]

Overzealous social media posts are super obnoxious, or having back and forth conversations on Facebook.

Bickering or fighting in front of other people. My sister and BIL do this constantly, and try to pull me and DH and others into it- who do you think is right? So obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Regularly watching two separate tv shows in different rooms.

Please explain.

I don't mean an occasional televised game vs. Masterpiece Theater's latest costume drama's finale. Or the DH has the den to himself for GOT while the wife takes over on Thursday for Scandal. I'm thinking about the many couples I know that spend 9-11 each night in separate rooms staring at screens rather than interacting with each other.

DH and I are in our 40s and like tv, but like each other better. We both DVR the shows the other really dislikes and binge watch them when we're alone at home. He watched a game yesterday while I read. We cuddled and shared a bowl of popcorn. I probably could have turned on something on Netflix in the bedroom, but we actually wanted to be together.

[Anonymous]

1) husbands who send flowers to their wives' job
2) facebooks posts, per above
3) Facebook posts about the flowers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

It depends on when they got it. We have a shared email address that dates back to when you could only have one email address with one account. It has morphed into the school one too- so we both don't have to get inundated with all those emails. I curate it and DH accationally looks at it. It is useful to have the same email address for so long as so many don't have to keep up with an ever changing one.

[Anonymous]

I'm okay with the PDA of others - it makes me remember being swept up in the hormones.

The worst Facebook posts are the ones where the spouse isn't even on Facebook. So Larla will post "happy nine-month anniversary to you, Larlo. You are so amazing, you complete me, and I don't know how I was able to draw a breath before I met you. You hung the stars, the sun, the moon, and the galaxy has you to thank for making it better." Meanwhile, Larlo has no Facebook account. This also applies to similar messages to kids on their birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'm fine with PDA--joint FB accounts are too much, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

Or -- perhaps even worse -- one Facebook account. Yes, I'm talking to you, "LarloAndLarla Smith"!

Oh lord yes, this.

Do these couples think it's sweet?

I know two couples like this who share a Facebook account, and it advertises "We have major trust issues in our marriage, and we are not working on that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Making serious Facebook posts professing their love for each other or having Facebook conversations with each other.

Yes. This one embarrasses me SO much.

I know, almost like they must convince us or something. So childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

Oh lawdy, the one shared email address. One of my dearest childhood friends has this, and I'm aware that her husband reads my emails to her if she doesn't get to them early and read and delete. He's even jumped in and answered for her, to which my response was stunned silence. I don't say anything about it, I'm just mindful of what I write to her. One time, she did bring it up, and she said they had the shared email "so that it wouldn't appear that she was hiding anything." She's a sweet, honest person with a controlling husband.

I find it annoying when couples bicker in front of me. The ones who try to drag you in are the worst. Grow up, people.

Another thing is couples who talk about their sex lives in front of us. Oddly, it's always the ones where you'd swear one of them is in the closet or something.

I find it sad being around couples who treat each other like distant business partners, while lavishing affection on their kids, as if the kids are their lovers. It's so obviously misdirected.

I don't like being with couples where the man is staring at other women, and you can see his wife/gf noticing and looking humiliated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

Or -- perhaps even worse -- one Facebook account. Yes, I'm talking to you, "LarloAndLarla Smith"!

DH is convinced that this phenomenon is a result of when someone has cheated on the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

It depends on when they got it. We have a shared email address that dates back to when you could only have one email address with one account. It has morphed into the school one too- so we both don't have to get inundated with all those emails. I curate it and DH accationally looks at it. It is useful to have the same email address for so long as so many don't have to keep up with an ever changing one.

It doesn't depend. Use bobandbarb@yahoo for school stuff and get separate ones for personal stuff. It's 2016, they're free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couples that share 1 email address. I had a friend do this after she got married and it was seriously alienating. I liked her husband but no way was I going to email the both of them the same kind of stuff that i used to email just her. Nothing bad about him - more like updates on my own goings ons - e.g. boyfriend troubles, dieting issues, etc.

This. It seems so weird and codependent.

[Anonymous]

One email address is generational. My parents for example. It wouldn't occur to them to have separate email addresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One email address is generational. My parents for example. It wouldn't occur to them to have separate email addresses.

I just corresponded with a fellow school parent via her shared spousal email account. Mid-late 30s. It's not entirely generational. But, even so, my grandparents, who are 80 and 85, both have their own email addresses.