Did you divorce due to spouse's travel?

[Anonymous]

Devoted husband here. I could probably make more money if I chose to travel for my job, but I don't. Some things in life simply aren't worth the cost, and watching my kids grow up, going to their sports and school events makes it worth it. It breaks my heart when I see kids alone on "donuts with dads" day at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devoted husband here. I could probably make more money if I chose to travel for my job, but I don't. Some things in life simply aren't worth the cost, and watching my kids grow up, going to their sports and school events makes it worth it. It breaks my heart when I see kids alone on "donuts with dads" day at school.

So helpful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devoted husband here. I could probably make more money if I chose to travel for my job, but I don't. Some things in life simply aren't worth the cost, and watching my kids grow up, going to their sports and school events makes it worth it. It breaks my heart when I see kids alone on "donuts with dads" day at school.

Cool.

Some women can easily handle their husbands traveling and deal with it. It's also possible to schedule work travel AROUND a 15 minutes donuts with dads morning. Dads who travel aren't crappy dads, they're doing what they have to do to provide for their families.

[Anonymous]

eh. My DH travels a lot, and although it drives me nuts at times, I've never gotten to the point of contemplating divorce over it. (at least a 2-3 days every week this month, none last month, a full week the month before, etc). It's a choice in the sense that he chooses to run his own business and this kind of schedule makes it successful. He doesn't do it just to provide for his family; lord knows, there are lower risk, higher reward options out there for breadwinning. Rather, he loves it, loves being his own boss, and believes he is maximizing his potential to be a productive member of society.

I tolerate it okay. I do like parenting on my own, at least some of the time, but it has been a drag on my career and generally results in me being the default parent for almost everything. that is overwhelming sometimes, particularly since i have a fulltime litigation job, and it is maddening to me that he just assumes I will do all the routine parenting tasks. I think if I said it was a dealbreaker, he would choose me over the business (though to be honest, I'm not sure). I wouldn't take that step without some serious counseling first. He generally tries to help make up for it by giving me "time off" on weekends to work or just recharge. This weekend, for example, we'll do one family outing (to a pool, probably), and I'll fix breakfast and cook dinner. Otherwise, he will take the kids entirely, while I get some work done (and relax). These weekends (which are not every weekend, but do happen frequently when he travels during the week) give him some good quality time with the kids and me some crucial mental space.

I'm hoping we become better partners, take more date nights, etc, as the kids get bigger (1 and 3 now), but we have set these patterns already with me being largely responsible for the parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is gone five nights a week. It's tough. But one of my coworkers who has been a truly single mom from the start pointed out that at least I have the financial security of being married, and that my kids aren't being shuttled from house to house, and dealing with new romantic partners, etc.

I actually enjoy it more when DH isn't home--the house stays cleaner, we can eat breakfast for dinner, or pick up Subway on the way to the pool, or do whatever we want to do. It's just easier when it's just the two of us.

In what sense do you have a marriage?

The state considers us married.

[Anonymous]

No, I liked it when he was away. Then he started taking me with him and it is a lot of fun. We go to nice places in Europe.