Switching back to my maiden name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would change it back. I have no idea why women change their names in the first place, I have no need to feel like my husband's property. I have a kid, no big deal to have different last names. Change it OP. It would depress me to have an ex's name. What are you going to do when he remarries?? Ick, you'll be the ex Mrs. Ex.

You have no idea why women change their names? Yes you still gave your children your DH's last name, correct? I changed my last name so that we'd all have the same last name. It wasn't because of "issues", it was because I like the cohesive nature of having a family name. You don't prefer that, which is fine. But don't claim you can't understand why on earth someone would do that. Why did you give your kid's your DH's last name and not yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right.

Except in the example you provided, Jose will usually have both of his grandFATHER's last names. José's child will probably get Jose's FATHER's name and Wife's FATHER's name.

As you'll recall, the issue under discussion is what happens when two people who each have two surnames get married and have children. Not whether or not the surnames are matrilineal/patrilineal, or how that relates to feminism. Still waiting to hear some examples of people who just keep adding surnames until it's 14 names long. Since this phenomenon is mentioned here so often, it must be a really common occurrence, right? There should be plenty of examples you or the other PP could provide.

[Anonymous]

This thread seems to have died on the vine. 2:25 is a real beauty...groundless claims of almost complete female identity loss, and allusions to male castration. Stupid and classless...must be a real "prize" sitting at her keyboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread seems to have died on the vine. 2:25 is a real beauty...groundless claims of almost complete female identity loss, and allusions to male castration. Stupid and classless...must be a real "prize" sitting at her keyboard.

It really bothers you when women keep their names, doesn't it.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all. It's the irrational arguments (i.e., loss of female identity, etc.) which trouble. My grandmothers didn't lose their identities, nor were they unable to tell me about those who came before them. They weren't going to allow their identities to be lost. It had nothing to do with a maiden name, a hyphenated married name, or a surname adopted on marriage. Nor does it have anything to do with male castration.

[Anonymous]

I much prefer DH's last name to my maiden name, so I'll most likely keep it. However it is a very personal decision. Do what you want/feel OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not at all. It's the irrational arguments (i.e., loss of female identity, etc.) which trouble. My grandmothers didn't lose their identities, nor were they unable to tell me about those who came before them. They weren't going to allow their identities to be lost. It had nothing to do with a maiden name, a hyphenated married name, or a surname adopted on marriage. Nor does it have anything to do with male castration.

If you don't mind my asking, are you male or female?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick a whole NEW last name.

I had sooo thought about doing this, but I thought it would be too weird. I had actually considered just making my middle name my new last name, since it actually sounds like a last name. My ex made a big deal about me taking his name, and completely dropping my maiden name. I wanted to hyphenate it, but he didn't like the idea.

This is when you should have known it was time to call the whole thing off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would change it back. I have no idea why women change their names in the first place, I have no need to feel like my husband's property. I have a kid, no big deal to have different last names. Change it OP. It would depress me to have an ex's name. What are you going to do when he remarries?? Ick, you'll be the ex Mrs. Ex.

You have no idea why women change their names? Yes you still gave your children your DH's last name, correct? I changed my last name so that we'd all have the same last name. It wasn't because of "issues", it was because I like the cohesive nature of having a family name. You don't prefer that, which is fine. But don't claim you can't understand why on earth someone would do that. Why did you give your kid's your DH's last name and not yours?

Barring a desire to separate oneself from one's family of origin, I have no idea why women change their names either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pick a whole NEW last name.

Go by your first name only, like Madonna

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not at all. It's the irrational arguments (i.e., loss of female identity, etc.) which trouble. My grandmothers didn't lose their identities, nor were they unable to tell me about those who came before them. They weren't going to allow their identities to be lost. It had nothing to do with a maiden name, a hyphenated married name, or a surname adopted on marriage. Nor does it have anything to do with male castration.

If you ever study history or look at family trees, notice over hundreds of years how many women have a blank space where their original last name was. This info, their genetic identity before taking their husband's name, easily gets lost. Your grandma knowing her name is not the point. Why is this so hard for you to acknowledge? It's fact.

[Anonymous]

I kept my name, but I might have switched if I loved my husband more. There. I said it. Now you allllll know.