Switching back to my maiden name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pick a whole NEW last name.

I had sooo thought about doing this, but I thought it would be too weird. I had actually considered just making my middle name my new last name, since it actually sounds like a last name. My ex made a big deal about me taking his name, and completely dropping my maiden name. I wanted to hyphenate it, but he didn't like the idea.

[Anonymous]

This ridiculous American sexist custom of women changing their names. We Hispanics always keep our names. I never once considered changing my name. Also sexist for the kids to take only the husband's name. They should get both names. I have never understood why any self respecting woman would go along with this.

[Anonymous]

I changed my name back when I divorced. So happy I did and having a different last name than the kids is a non issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick a whole NEW last name.

I had sooo thought about doing this, but I thought it would be too weird. I had actually considered just making my middle name my new last name, since it actually sounds like a last name. My ex made a big deal about me taking his name, and completely dropping my maiden name. I wanted to hyphenate it, but he didn't like the idea.

Not because of divorce, but I have a friend who did this. Just made it up. She hated her dad (he seriously was a raging asshole, who left her mom destitute when they divorced so he could marry his affair partner, but I digress). She didn't want anything associated with his name, so she just picked a random name with no meaning and is today known as that name.

[Anonymous]

I never changed my name when I got married (this is common in my field of work). My kids have a different last name and no one cares. A little confusion in one or two instances where someone put my last name down as my husband's, but that's the only downside.

[Anonymous]

I love when women don't change their last name when they marry, claiming that it's an antiquated notion, and that these are "different times."

I wonder if these same women realize that monogamy and marital fidelity are also "antiquated?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love when women don't change their last name when they marry, claiming that it's an antiquated notion, and that these are "different times."

I wonder if these same women realize that monogamy and marital fidelity are also "antiquated?"

Flawed logic, there. Yes, all are "antiquated," but a woman wiping out her identity and changing her name to the man's is a completely one-sided thing, since men almost never change their names to the woman's in this culture. So you get the extra layer of antiquated sexist practice. Marital fidelity is a two-way street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love when women don't change their last name when they marry, claiming that it's an antiquated notion, and that these are "different times."

I wonder if these same women realize that monogamy and marital fidelity are also "antiquated?"

Flawed logic, there. Yes, all are "antiquated," but a woman wiping out her identity and changing her name to the man's is a completely one-sided thing, since men almost never change their names to the woman's in this culture. So you get the extra layer of antiquated sexist practice. Marital fidelity is a two-way street.

Yeah, I'm not sure what point PP was trying to make. That if you keep your name, you shouldn't expect fidelity? That everyone gets cheated on whether they change their name or not? That people just shouldn't get married? Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick a whole NEW last name.

I had sooo thought about doing this, but I thought it would be too weird. I had actually considered just making my middle name my new last name, since it actually sounds like a last name. My ex made a big deal about me taking his name, and completely dropping my maiden name. I wanted to hyphenate it, but he didn't like the idea.

Wanting to change it back now doesn't sound like spite. It sounds like you're finally free of a controlling a-hole who pushed you into a decision you weren't comfortable with at the time.

[Anonymous]

Do it and don't take the next man's name. Be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love when women don't change their last name when they marry, claiming that it's an antiquated notion, and that these are "different times."

I wonder if these same women realize that monogamy and marital fidelity are also "antiquated?"

I love when men get all insecure about a woman not changing her identity for them. Small penis syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This ridiculous American sexist custom of women changing their names. We Hispanics always keep our names. I never once considered changing my name. Also sexist for the kids to take only the husband's name. They should get both names. I have never understood why any self respecting woman would go along with this.

And... which last name of yours did your kids get????

[Anonymous]

And then at a certain point the kids have 14 names...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And then at a certain point the kids have 14 names...

When do the kids have 14 names? I've heard this reasoning mentioned many times, but have never heard of someone in real life with anything even approaching that many names. Please explain. Cites appreciated. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This ridiculous American sexist custom of women changing their names. We Hispanics always keep our names. I never once considered changing my name. Also sexist for the kids to take only the husband's name. They should get both names. I have never understood why any self respecting woman would go along with this.

And... which last name of yours did your kids get????

They got 14 different names because no one in her family would ever give up a name, so everything just got hyphenated.