Almost 40, divorced, and a mom?

[Anonymous]

I navigated this same situation. I married a man quite a bit older than myself, but very young looking and athletic. I told him my son didn't need a father. He already had one who was involved in his life. My man's job was to treat my son with kindness and tolerance and eventually it would pay off. It has. He had a 16 year-old daughter who came to live with us for about 9 months as an exchange student. She didn't need a mother, either. My husband told me to treat her with respect and tolerance and let him take care of the rest. Today, we are also friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

No, her kid needs to live in a reality where mom's house life doesn't revolve solely around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

No, her kid needs to live in a reality where mom's house life doesn't revolve solely around them.

Wow.

Sad comment. I hope you're not a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

No, her kid needs to live in a reality where mom's house life doesn't revolve solely around them.

I am a single mom and agree with this statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

She's 10.

[Anonymous]

Wow, the misogynists are out in force tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, the misogynists are out in force tonight.

It's one dude. He trolls posts like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're in a tough spot because if a guy still wants kids, a 40 year old who already has her kids is not his safest bet, and if he doesn't want kids, it's a waste of time to date a 40 year old who has kids. You have to find the right guy who is happy to always have someone else's kids around while also not wanting any/more of his own and isn't an emotional cripple. If you don't want him to have kids and an ex, you narrow your odds even more.

You also have to watch out for perverts who are looking for single moms if you catch my drift.

[Anonymous]

There is a type of guy who is looking for this exact situation, to take advantage of a mom who has to maintain a home .... Be careful OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

She's 10.

Great! So, only 8 more years to go. When she's out of the house, you're foot loose and fancy free. Until then, you have a major responsibility ahead of you.

[Anonymous]

Are you the Op who is still hung up on her ex and his wife? She also has a 10 year old. If they're perceiving that that might be why they're not interested. You haven't moved on yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

She's 10.

Great! So, only 8 more years to go. When she's out of the house, you're foot loose and fancy free. Until then, you have a major responsibility ahead of you.

In 8 years, I'll be pushing 50. I really won't have a chance in hell then, lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it will be hard for a 40s, divorced mom, with kids to find a guy who will want marriage unless he too is divorced and older. Eligible bachelors in their 30s and early 40s wouldn't need that additional baggage.

So I guess I should give up on dating then?

OP, how old is your child?

Yes, most likely you should give up on dating until s/he is 18 and out of the house. Your kid, whose intact home was ripped apart by your divorce, needs you.

She's 10.

Great! So, only 8 more years to go. When she's out of the house, you're foot loose and fancy free. Until then, you have a major responsibility ahead of you.

In 8 years, I'll be pushing 50. I really won't have a chance in hell then, lol!

It's called the time of "gray divorce." You won't have dependents, and there is a singles community in this age bracket.

[Anonymous]

My ex wife, twice divorced mother of three (after me) left me for her 50 year old affair partner. He was her co worker. Never married no kids. The jury is out on what will happen there. It's too soon. But something tells me a 50 yo never married guy no kids is either a loser or set on his ways and it won't work out. At least that is what I tell myself.

[Anonymous]

She's 45 and pretty. But her looks are fading.