Will you talk to the teacher if DD is 1% point away from passing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her talk to the teacher and ask if there is anything she can do.

That ship has sailed. And if the parent does it for her she will be enabling her. Let her suffer the consequences of being on her phone at night and not turning in assignments. This kind of thing won't fly when she goes to college and has a job. And take away her phone--you shouldn't tolerate her acting like a 2 year old when you take her phone away.

As an educator, my perspective is that the teacher already reached out and let her turn in those assignments. To have ignored that opportunity, and to bring it up as an option only after the extended window has closed...? That would grate. Also, her hands may be tied now that final grades have already been submitted.

I extended a major paper for a group in one of my classes and provided them with intensive guidance. Short of writing the paper for them, I basically handed them everything they'd need. They failed to follow through on anything. Final grades of C all around. Two weeks after grades went in (and, mind you, two MONTHS after the assignment was originally due), I get a call asking what one student could do to get a B for the course. I'd been working with that group since mid-term. That I got them to a C was a miracle. Of course, they are bitter and angry about my apparent lack of fairness here.

#Can'tWin

[Anonymous]

The only thing I would do is make sure her IEP was being followed. If not, I'd complain like hell. If teacher is following IEP, I would not do anything and let her stand on her own two feet (or not).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. She has ADHD, not an intellectual disability. She should not coast through life just because she "forgot". It's not the teacher's fault. It's the kid being irresponsible.

Thanks for your ignorance. ADHD is a brain-based neurological disorder. People with ADHD have real brain differences that make it difficult for them to do certain tasks. If you believe that people in wheelchairs or with diabetes or with dyslexia should recieve accomodations and special instruction appropriate to their individual disability, then why not ADHD? None of those disabilities are "intellectual disabilities".

A kid with ADHD has a disability and should receive appropriate supports - consistent reminders about missed assignments, extended deadlines, parent and teacher daily monitoring of assigents and completion. That obviously wasn't happening in this case. Kids with ADHD need more explicit instruction in organization of work, self-monitoring systems, breaking projects down into components, etc. They also need a longer period of time to develop these skills and habits than "neurotypical" kids. ADHD kids aren't stupid or lazy or irresponsible.

Keep making excuses for them for the rest of their lives. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't finish her work on time. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't pay rent, hold a job, etc. OP's kid was irresponsible the entire term and needs to face consequences. Stop using ADHD as some sort of a shield

- signed, adult with ADHD, mother of two kids with ADHD who makes sure they know what's at stake - THEIR EDUCATION

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. She has ADHD, not an intellectual disability. She should not coast through life just because she "forgot". It's not the teacher's fault. It's the kid being irresponsible.

Thanks for your ignorance. ADHD is a brain-based neurological disorder. People with ADHD have real brain differences that make it difficult for them to do certain tasks. If you believe that people in wheelchairs or with diabetes or with dyslexia should recieve accomodations and special instruction appropriate to their individual disability, then why not ADHD? None of those disabilities are "intellectual disabilities".

A kid with ADHD has a disability and should receive appropriate supports - consistent reminders about missed assignments, extended deadlines, parent and teacher daily monitoring of assigents and completion. That obviously wasn't happening in this case. Kids with ADHD need more explicit instruction in organization of work, self-monitoring systems, breaking projects down into components, etc. They also need a longer period of time to develop these skills and habits than "neurotypical" kids. ADHD kids aren't stupid or lazy or irresponsible.

Keep making excuses for them for the rest of their lives. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't finish her work on time. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't pay rent, hold a job, etc. OP's kid was irresponsible the entire term and needs to face consequences. Stop using ADHD as some sort of a shield

- signed, adult with ADHD, mother of two kids with ADHD who makes sure they know what's at stake - THEIR EDUCATION

I don't think the mom is making excuses for her kid. This is the time that a kid learns from experiences on how to improve. An IEP can be modified to give her the skills to succeed. Organizational and executive functioning skills may never be her kid's strong points, but she can learn strategies to improve. So let's try to be supportive of one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. She has ADHD, not an intellectual disability. She should not coast through life just because she "forgot". It's not the teacher's fault. It's the kid being irresponsible.

Thanks for your ignorance. ADHD is a brain-based neurological disorder. People with ADHD have real brain differences that make it difficult for them to do certain tasks. If you believe that people in wheelchairs or with diabetes or with dyslexia should recieve accomodations and special instruction appropriate to their individual disability, then why not ADHD? None of those disabilities are "intellectual disabilities".

A kid with ADHD has a disability and should receive appropriate supports - consistent reminders about missed assignments, extended deadlines, parent and teacher daily monitoring of assigents and completion. That obviously wasn't happening in this case. Kids with ADHD need more explicit instruction in organization of work, self-monitoring systems, breaking projects down into components, etc. They also need a longer period of time to develop these skills and habits than "neurotypical" kids. ADHD kids aren't stupid or lazy or irresponsible.

Keep making excuses for them for the rest of their lives. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't finish her work on time. Oh, she has ADHD, she can't pay rent, hold a job, etc. OP's kid was irresponsible the entire term and needs to face consequences. Stop using ADHD as some sort of a shield

- signed, adult with ADHD, mother of two kids with ADHD who makes sure they know what's at stake - THEIR EDUCATION

I agree with this. I think sometimes people with ADHD in particular need clear and reinforced boundaries and expectations. Fluidity of deadlines and constant negotiations and nagging can be overwhelming. There has to be external pressure to get something done and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She said she knows that her teacher told her to turn in a couple assignments she was missing and if she did she would of gotten full credit [...] but should a special ed student get special help when they are so close in passing?

It seems she got special help. Her teacher told her - possibly multiple times as she was missing more than one assignment - she would have gotten full credit even if she handed her work in late. Receiving special help does not mean that a teacher will do the work for you or artificially up your grade because you are close but accommodate your needs and in this case it seems that the teacher thought reminding your daughter and allowing for additional time to do the assignments would do just that.

Do you think failing will "teach" her? Do you think failing might help her understand that her (non) actions have consequences? Do you think that you could work from this?
Does she "forget" she had the assignment because she doesn't write them down? Does she not have enough time to do the assignments because she is struggeling with different homework and runs out of time? Does she not complete the assignments because it's too much? Does she not do the assignment because her meds kick in too late and she doesn't care about the class? Does she not like Earth Sciences? Is she still over tired from her late bedtime? Do you offer support with projects and assignments at home? Does she accept support you are offering at home or does this result in fighting because you are both stressed?

If she does well in most of her other classes, you need to try to find the reason why this class is such a struggle for her.
Could be the subject, could be the teaching style, could be the late bedtime and early class, could be the meds kicking in. However, instead of blaming the teacher for not giving her a pass (which it seems she didn't deserve) because she is close this is something you and your daughter should work on. If she has only been on 20mg Adderall since March and you are already seeing improvement, it might be as simple as tweaking her meds a bit to make her fully functional at 7.30. Try to focus on the good (fewer Fs) instead of the bad and see how you and your daughter can work on improving the bad.

[Anonymous]

Mom of an 8th grade ADHD boy, and by MS, and definately HS, kids need to learn self advocacy. When there is a problem with the grade, the kid and the teacher need to resolve it. It seems like the teacher tried to work with DD for her to get full credit, and she just shrugged. That's on DD.

I'm also puzzled about why the Adderrall is not being taken earlier? And why your DC gets to keep a phone because she pitches a temper tantrum? This year DC's Geometry grade went from high As all year to a Low C at 4th quarter interims. He understood the material, but had not turned in some homework, test corrections, etc. (basically end of the year it is). His iPhone and Kindle Fire were confiscated and we handed him his old flip phone. And he got so upset he threatened to call 911 to report child abuse. He still lost the electronics (and we had a talk with him when he calmed down about why calling 911 in a non-life threatening situation was never okay. But by all means report the "child abuse" to you guidance counselor, DC). Three weeks later, he has the grade back up to an A- I'm not sure if the phone was too distracting, or getting the phone back was incentive to get the work turned in. But it works.

And I agree with PPs. ADHD kids can struggle with executive functioning (we use an organizational tutor, which I highly recommend). But, they can also be lazy. Just like the rest of us.