Worried about ASD in my baby. Sorry to be "that mom."

[Anonymous]

This woman doesn't have anxiety. Y'all are over sensitive.

[Anonymous]

I posted a little earlier... but if you want hear stories of little events that I now look back on and wonder, here goes. Mind you, this child hit all milestones for sitting up, rolling over, talking, walking, etc... Diagnosed as ASD at 3.5 years.

I'm sure there will be posters who chime in to say that their kids did all the things below and doesn't have ASD. And, I can't remember anything from 6 months old that really triggered any worrying. So, take from this what you will...

1. My child once would "shoot baskets" for a strangely long time. I mean... it wasn't a real hoop, just one of those things that you sit the child in front of with a ball... and he put the ball into the hoop dozens of times in a row. This was at about 9 months - 11 months old. Then when he could walk around 12 months, he did the same with an actual hoop (one of those Little Tikes hoops), shot the ball from at least a body length dozens of times in a row. We kept raising and raising the hoop, yet he still made all the baskets in a row.

This continued until about 18 months to 2 years old. We had to eventually take it away. He was so obsessive about it. And the hoops got to big for our living room! We put one outside but the magic spell for shooting had been broken. He moved on to other obsessions.

2. There were a couple of occasions where we were out to eat and talking at the table, ignoring our bubbly little toddler in his seat as he played with whatever was in front of him. We turned around and he was face down on the table. At first, we thought he was choking. I jumped up terrified and wrenched him up, only to discover he was crying and cowering. I now suspect that this was an early manifestation of sensory overload or anxiety... not sure.

3. He always flapped his arms, from the time he could move them. The ped said that it was normal child behavior... but DC is now almost 6 years old and still flaps, and spins and buzzes... not normal behavior!

4. Eye contact was never great... but at home he was fine so we didn't even think of this as a sign. But diminished eye contact was more noticeable to new people.

[Anonymous]

People used to be nicer on this board.
Op, search for "signs of autism" and you will see many parents wondered if their infants have autism. I wondered about it when my ds was under 1 but ds wasn't diagnosed till 3. I was told I have depression or anxiety and he's fine. I believe it delayed his diagnosis because I focused on it so early.
Watch him for now and spend a great of time on the floor with him. Engage him as much as possible. Signs of autism come over time. You can tell when he gets closer to 2. There is no down side of spending time with your ds.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't feel too bad about your post. I know your anxiety is eating away at you and the uncertainty can be the worst part. I agree with the others that you should talk to your pediatrician. We were in your shoes 8 years ago and ended up taking our DS to CARD at Kennedy Krieger in Baltimore for an evaluation when he was ten months old. They didn't tell us that we were crazy or needed a Xanax. In fact, they enrolled us in a program designed to increase his social interactions. It helped somewhat, but nearly 9 years later he is on the spectrum. And he is still a joy. I guess what I am trying to say is that, despite the lost sleep over what might be in your future, take heart that you will still love your child and he will still give you joy no matter what. Try to enjoy this time with him and not over-analyze his every move too much. Be kind to yourself, talk to your pediatrician, and seek out resources if appropriate. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I know most people will tell you "oh don't worry, you are paranoid", I for one will insist you use your mother's intuition and have him checked for both of your sakes. My DS hit all of his milestones by the age of 2. I thought, "oh, a genius boy". And then he stopped talking. At all. Our pediatrician said, "don't worry, he's growing up in a bilingual environment, maybe he's confused, he'll come around." Then my DS started punching whenever he was upset. No words.

He started talking again at around 5. FIVE. He now 12. He's HFA, very pedantic, methodical, OCD, but he's fully functional and independent.

And I didn't find your post offensive. I'd rather have people ask questions about their kids than sweep everything under the rug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This woman doesn't have anxiety. Y'all are over sensitive.

Bless your heart!

[Anonymous]

Nothing in your description of your baby even hints of autism. No warning signs, no red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly said she wanted to know about ASD because she didn't want to start too late with whatever interventions that may help her child. You moms need to stop being so cruel. Have you forgotten what is was like to realize your child wasn't like other children, and you were entering into unknown territory?

+1. No parent starts out wanting to be a parent of a child with special needs. In the beginning, we all asked other parents and watched other kids, both typical and atypical, for clues, and every single one of us crossed our fingers and prayed our kid was "normal". We all love our sn kids and believe to the bottom of our souls that they have a right to be on this earth as they are. And we all have to come to terms with the fact that most parents don't want to be in our shoes. And that's okay even though sometimes it hurts like hell, and we feel that hurt as an offense, often from innocent questions, such as the OP's. I do believe that those of us who go forth first have a responsibility to those who come after. And in OPs case, that means giving her advice that could lead to early intervention for her son.

OP, I would first talk to your pediatrician and go from there, but from this experienced mom, it sounds like you have a serious little guy. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP clearly said she wanted to know about ASD because she didn't want to start too late with whatever interventions that may help her child. You moms need to stop being so cruel. Have you forgotten what is was like to realize your child wasn't like other children, and you were entering into unknown territory?

+1. No parent starts out wanting to be a parent of a child with special needs. In the beginning, we all asked other parents and watched other kids, both typical and atypical, for clues, and every single one of us crossed our fingers and prayed our kid was "normal". We all love our sn kids and believe to the bottom of our souls that they have a right to be on this earth as they are. And we all have to come to terms with the fact that most parents don't want to be in our shoes. And that's okay even though sometimes it hurts like hell, and we feel that hurt as an offense, often from innocent questions, such as the OP's. I do believe that those of us who go forth first have a responsibility to those who come after. And in OPs case, that means giving her advice that could lead to early intervention for her son.

OP, I would first talk to your pediatrician and go from there, but from this experienced mom, it sounds like you have a serious little guy. Good luck.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

OP, research shows that 6 months is a great age for intervention, with fantastic results. The problem is many specialists out there aren't trained to work with infants.
"Treatment at the earliest age when signs of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) appear – sometimes in infants as young as 6 months old – significantly reduces symptoms so that, by age 3, most who received the therapy had neither ASD nor developmental delay, a UC Davis MIND Institute research study has found."
https://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/publish/news/newsroom/9182

I was trained in a setting similar to this study. It's about incorporating naturalistic therapy techniques that subtly change your parenting approach to encourage communication from your child.

I don't see anything particularly worrisome in your description of your son. On the other hand, this is not the first rodeo, so trust your instincts, but think logically. Are there any risk factors? ASD in the family, or autistic traits? Delays in meting milestones?

[Anonymous]

Not OP- but I was worried about autism when my DS was born. It runs in our family. I was also worried about ADHD because it runs in our family. Turns out our DS has ADHD and some learning problems, but not autism.

Coping with DS's diagnoses- is something I did after we knew for sure. Worrying and watching was something I did before. Yes, OP sounds worried- and it's okay because these diagnoses present a difficult future-- moreover they present a future different from what she envisions. It's perfectly okay to mourn for what we thought would happen vs. what actually happened.

Anyway, having a kid with ADHD and learning issues is what taught me that we can handle difficult things and that my DS is great the way that he is-- I did not know what I could handle until we were in this situation. I know if it had been ASD we could have handled that too- but only because of this experience.

[Anonymous]

That study is very interesting... it's sad that it was published in 2014 and probably still so few families are benefiting from treatment at that early of an age. I don't think I have heard one person on these boards say that they were seen at 6 months of age with a child displaying lack of eye contact... maybe language delay (?) but not the milder ASD symptoms.

What's happening in reality is that parents with concerns like OP (and myself starting at about 1 year) are being told not to worry. Sure, OP can get on a wait list to see a dev ped... but that will take 3 months-ish... only to be dismissed as inconclusive as the most likely outcome.

There just has to be a better way. Regular pediatricians are not catching mild ASDs early enough, IMO. I even told my regular ped that there were 2 family members with confirmed ASDs. He told me that the connection was "too distant," the connection needed to be a sibling or parent. :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a little earlier... but if you want hear stories of little events that I now look back on and wonder, here goes. Mind you, this child hit all milestones for sitting up, rolling over, talking, walking, etc... Diagnosed as ASD at 3.5 years.

I'm sure there will be posters who chime in to say that their kids did all the things below and doesn't have ASD. And, I can't remember anything from 6 months old that really triggered any worrying. So, take from this what you will...

1. My child once would "shoot baskets" for a strangely long time. I mean... it wasn't a real hoop, just one of those things that you sit the child in front of with a ball... and he put the ball into the hoop dozens of times in a row. This was at about 9 months - 11 months old. Then when he could walk around 12 months, he did the same with an actual hoop (one of those Little Tikes hoops), shot the ball from at least a body length dozens of times in a row. We kept raising and raising the hoop, yet he still made all the baskets in a row.

This continued until about 18 months to 2 years old. We had to eventually take it away. He was so obsessive about it. And the hoops got to big for our living room! We put one outside but the magic spell for shooting had been broken. He moved on to other obsessions.

2. There were a couple of occasions where we were out to eat and talking at the table, ignoring our bubbly little toddler in his seat as he played with whatever was in front of him. We turned around and he was face down on the table. At first, we thought he was choking. I jumped up terrified and wrenched him up, only to discover he was crying and cowering. I now suspect that this was an early manifestation of sensory overload or anxiety... not sure.

3. He always flapped his arms, from the time he could move them. The ped said that it was normal child behavior... but DC is now almost 6 years old and still flaps, and spins and buzzes... not normal behavior!

4. Eye contact was never great... but at home he was fine so we didn't even think of this as a sign. But diminished eye contact was more noticeable to new people.

Flapping is normal, but ASD kids do it more than other kids. A lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry- going to come off as cruel. Sorry that your worst fear is having an ASD kid- like mine.

Grow up lady- and learn some tact.

I am sorry that having a kid with ASD has made you so bitter and angry. You could show some compassion, though.

/Not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That study is very interesting... it's sad that it was published in 2014 and probably still so few families are benefiting from treatment at that early of an age. I don't think I have heard one person on these boards say that they were seen at 6 months of age with a child displaying lack of eye contact... maybe language delay (?) but not the milder ASD symptoms.

What's happening in reality is that parents with concerns like OP (and myself starting at about 1 year) are being told not to worry. Sure, OP can get on a wait list to see a dev ped... but that will take 3 months-ish... only to be dismissed as inconclusive as the most likely outcome.

There just has to be a better way. Regular pediatricians are not catching mild ASDs early enough, IMO. I even told my regular ped that there were 2 family members with confirmed ASDs. He told me that the connection was "too distant," the connection needed to be a sibling or parent. :/

That's the crux of the matter. I've see it it with my own eyes: a parent of a non-verbal 3 year old with classic autistic behaviors being told not to worry, the kid will grow out of it. I wish people like that would shut up.

In another threat a poster didn't see any problems with her son until his preschool teacher pointed out problems at 4. Yet on the same board a parent of a 6 month old who's concerned is being ridiculed. There's a huge disconnect. In most kids with ASD signs appear in infancy and get more pronounced with age; they don't "turn" autistic overnight.