Chance of Reconciliation

[Anonymous]

I was in a very similar situation (although the only expiration on the affair was that the AP is a philanderer with decades of affairs). A few months in I realized that staying/waiting would break me so badly that it wouldn't matter if we reconciled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

Women cheat because they can. There is always a horndog who will bang anyone with female organs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a very similar situation (although the only expiration on the affair was that the AP is a philanderer with decades of affairs). A few months in I realized that staying/waiting would break me so badly that it wouldn't matter if we reconciled.

How did you move on? What did you do with your time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

Did you try to work on it or what did you do?

[Anonymous]

Move on for now. She doesn't sound temporarily insane but, if she is, there is plenty of time to figure things out. I think, though, that eventually you'll realize that she did you a favor. The truth is if you're a good guy, you can find a decent woman. You're still young, you have a good job and good kids. You don't want to spend more time on a woman who is using you for your money.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. But any woman who would leave her children is not someone I would ever want back in my life or theirs.

[Anonymous]

If she comes back, you'll know it's only because the affair didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a very similar situation (although the only expiration on the affair was that the AP is a philanderer with decades of affairs). A few months in I realized that staying/waiting would break me so badly that it wouldn't matter if we reconciled.

How did you move on? What did you do with your time?

We nested for 6 months, kept the kids in the house and split the week so we weren't in the house at the same time (I wasn't willing to do anything that would risk me getting less than at least 50/50 custody, so I couldn't just move out). For awhile she was worried about the money so wanted us all to stay in the house even though she didn't want to reconcile and was with someone else. I said F that and pushed for us to move to two separate homes-which was a really good move. I started exercise a lot, took a writing class, reconnected with old friends, joined my college alum group, met some new people, did therapy, worked a lot. After she filed, I started dating. I didn't want the divorce, but my life is better now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:shes not right, what kind of mother abandons her children.

You know, at least she left them with their father who sounds like a sane and responsible person. There are many truly f*cked up people out there, and things could be much worse.

OP, I'm sorry you and your kids are going through this. I agree with those who recomment seeing a lawyer stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

Yes, let's add people's politics to the pile

IMO, it is impossible to predict what happens in life, and how people would react to the way their relationship unfolds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:shes not right, what kind of mother abandons her children.

You know, at least she left them with their father who sounds like a sane and responsible person. There are many truly f*cked up people out there, and things could be much worse.

OP, I'm sorry you and your kids are going through this. I agree with those who recomment seeing a lawyer stat.

There is no "at least" when a parent leave kids for her own good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

Yes, let's add people's politics to the pile

Her politics (and her religion) are totally relevant because they were, ostensibly, aligned with good morals and "family values".

She was a conservative Christian - until she wasn't. I don't even know what she thinks she is now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have a great opportunity to find someone with morals and values who would put you and your kids first and foremost. Why would you continue to stay in a rut?? Yes my experience is cheaters end up cheating again, AND it's a horrible life of never being able to trust them anywhere outside of the home.

Please try and move on, but my advice would be to make sure you know the person well before committing. Family values, and all that. There are always red flags about a person's character, pay attention to that.

Good luck with that. I married a Catholic conservative Republican. She cheated on me with a coworker after 15 years and two kids. Never would have imagined it until it happened.

You're only "married" until she gets bored and her emotions (and her vagina) take over. Then you and the kids are disposable...

Yes, let's add people's politics to the pile

Her politics (and her religion) are totally relevant because they were, ostensibly, aligned with good morals and "family values".

She was a conservative Christian - until she wasn't. I don't even know what she thinks she is now.

Well, I guess you won't be marrying any secular liberals either, so... good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:shes not right, what kind of mother abandons her children.

You know, at least she left them with their father who sounds like a sane and responsible person. There are many truly f*cked up people out there, and things could be much worse.

OP, I'm sorry you and your kids are going through this. I agree with those who recomment seeing a lawyer stat.

There is no "at least" when a parent leave kids for her own good.

Yeah, there is. Clearly, you lead a very sheltered life.