Do you hold your teen's hands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this with the disclaimer I'm not judging or accusing or think anything inappropriate is going on.
I'm just curious ,how many of you hold hands with your teen child?
I don't have experience with kids this age and don't remember holding hands with my parents after I was maybe 10 or 11.

I was at a function today there was a teen boy there about 15/16 at one point he was sitting off by himself. His mom went over put her hand over his, and they sat holding hands for maybe 5 minutes. He kind of rested his head on her shoulder. She was saying something to him. I wasn't close enough to make out what it was. Mom then gave him a pat on the leg and was on her way. I saw the kid mingling as normal later.

I found this exchange odd ( in that I've never seen such a thing) but sweet. Like I said I don't spend much time with teens do you parents of teens get this kind of moments often.

Sounds like he needed reassurance of some sort.

My youngest is almost 15. He wouldn't appreciate this. Some would though.

[Anonymous]

Every teen is different. Some don't like physical affection, at least not in public. Others stay affectionate all through the teen years. There is nothing "weird" about a teen boy holding his mother's hand. It's sweet. My fourteen year old DD still holds hands all the time.

[Anonymous]

I saw parents and middle schoolers holding hands after the TJ tests

A lot of home schoolers are finally allowed, by their parents, to attend public school IF they make it into TJ

All this hand holding and cuddling an older child may be more prevalent with the home schooling crowd.

[Anonymous]

normal.

My son and I certainly don't walk down the street holding hands, but moments like you described do happen --


good chance that the kid was out of his element at this event and mom was checking in and saying some kind words.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a teen, but I still sometimes hold hands with my mother/best friends. If not holding hands, I ALWAYS interlock arms with my mom or dad. We are a close family and I hope it's the same with my kids <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not judging since I don't know the individuals or know under what circumstance they needed comforting. But I wouldn't consider it typical behavior and I wouldn't necessarily covet the relationship or this behavior.

+1 In private, for instance at home, my teenage sons would do this. But in public, they'd be unlikely to be this demonstrative.

[Anonymous]

I have a very hip AA son who is 17. If I were sitting and held his hand, he wouldn't let go. He is sweet that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is nice to read. I admit I didn't grow up in a very affectionate family even as a young child I have very few memories of hugs and snuggles and definitely not in the teen years.

I hope things are different with my own children.

I also did not have an affectionate family and I have found that when I reach out and grasp my 12 year old DD hand, she is often very welcoming and comforted. I have to work at it and be intentional in my actions to remember to do this, it is not natural for me.

Some people have labeled you as odd or judgmental, ignore them! I read you post, have your background understand where you are coming from.

[Anonymous]

This makes me sad. My 15 year old will barely hug me back if I hug him and if I kiss him, I have to tell him to kiss me back. He would never let me touch him in public. My husband says he is asserting his autonomy. I miss the days of cuddling and hand holding.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how comfortable your family is with physical affection. It's certainly normal in my family, and I frequently hug and hold the hand of my own mother. I wish my Dad was still around so that I could do the same with him. My two teenaged sons give me bonecracking hugs everyday!

[Anonymous]

I have a 14 y.o. DS, and occasionally, in context, yes.

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old will have nothing to do with holding parents' hands anymore, unfortunately. He's too grown-up for it now in his mind I guess. 11 year old though still likes to hold hands, anytime, though he'll reach for my hand sometimes when a setting is new and uncertain.

[Anonymous]

I saw my 12 year old neighbor sit on his petite mom's lap the other day after playing basketball. It made my so so happy, because my son is only 6 and developing independence. If only we could all be so lucky!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad. My 15 year old will barely hug me back if I hug him and if I kiss him, I have to tell him to kiss me back. He would never let me touch him in public. My husband says he is asserting his autonomy. I miss the days of cuddling and hand holding.

I warned my daughter that if I hug her in public and she doesn't hug me back, I will embarrass her even more than a quick hug will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad. My 15 year old will barely hug me back if I hug him and if I kiss him, I have to tell him to kiss me back. He would never let me touch him in public. My husband says he is asserting his autonomy. I miss the days of cuddling and hand holding.