Do you hold your teen's hands?

[Anonymous]

Don't judge if you know nothing about the situation. My teen son has anxiety and in some situations will touch my hand briefly for reassurance. You say you're not judging but then you say it's odd. There's nothing odd about needing a few minutes of support be it physical or emotional in certain situations. Maybe he has social anxiety and the touching grounds him.

[Anonymous]

Teens will hug and reciprocate (or tolerate) a kiss on the check, maybe forehead. Hand holding, no. I think that the issue is extended touching for too long a time period. No. And it doesn't quite seem right. A quick squeeze of the hand, to make an emotional point, ok I can see that.

[Anonymous]

OK so your kid's not typical (sorry - - you said that, not me) The question was: IS THIS TYPICAL.

[Anonymous]

I went for a long walk at the US National Arboretum today with DS12. We did some hand holding off and on, as we sometimes do.

It's very common in southern Europe, where my people are from.

[Anonymous]

That is the sweetest thing. We are an extremely affectionate family. My 15 year old grunts and groans at me all the time but today he did really well in a sporting event and the first thing he did was give me a big hug -- before slinking away to be with his friends.

OP, work on this issue. Healthy relationships are affectionate.

[Anonymous]

No I do not. I thought it was odd wen I saw parents and middle schoolers holding hands after the TJ tests. Struck me as very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this with the disclaimer I'm not judging or accusing or think anything inappropriate is going on.
I'm just curious ,how many of you hold hands with your teen child?
I don't have experience with kids this age and don't remember holding hands with my parents after I was maybe 10 or 11.

I was at a function today there was a teen boy there about 15/16 at one point he was sitting off by himself. His mom went over put her hand over his, and they sat holding hands for maybe 5 minutes. He kind of rested his head on her shoulder. She was saying something to him. I wasn't close enough to make out what it was. Mom then gave him a pat on the leg and was on her way. I saw the kid mingling as normal later.

I found this exchange odd ( in that I've never seen such a thing) but sweet. Like I said I don't spend much time with teens do you parents of teens get this kind of moments often.

Well you ARE judging! I guess you don't have kids. Maybe the son had a concern and his mom reached out to help him. My question is why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Yes. They do hold my hand, hug me, put their head on my shoulder, etc.

Then the next day they may shrug me off, pull their hand away, etc.

I read "love languages for teens" both of these are very normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK so your kid's not typical (sorry - - you said that, not me) The question was: IS THIS TYPICAL.

Answer: I don't think it is TYPICAL although I have seen this sort of thing before and have come to realize that some parents/teens do this. Like Op said, I find it odd but sweet.

I once saw a teenage girl go over to her mom and sit on her lap like a little kid might do. This was in a public area with lots of people around and the girl and her mom were not at all self conscious about having the teen sit in her mom's lap. Mom smoothed out her hair, they talked for a bit and after a while the girl got up and went over to chat with a group of her friends.

Do most teens still sit on their moms' laps? Well, no they don't. Did THAT particular teen sometimes still sit on her mom's lap? Well, evidently yes.

[Anonymous]

Well you ARE judging! I guess you don't have kids. Maybe the son had a concern and his mom reached out to help him. My question is why do you care?

Go Away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is the sweetest thing. We are an extremely affectionate family. My 15 year old grunts and groans at me all the time but today he did really well in a sporting event and the first thing he did was give me a big hug -- before slinking away to be with his friends.

OP, work on this issue. Healthy relationships are affectionate.

I hug my teens, I give them high fives. I don't remember the last time that I held their hands or they sat with their head on my shoulder, they were pretty little I think. And I have a really great relationship with my kids.

[Anonymous]

OP - why did you find this odd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the sweetest thing. We are an extremely affectionate family. My 15 year old grunts and groans at me all the time but today he did really well in a sporting event and the first thing he did was give me a big hug -- before slinking away to be with his friends.

OP, work on this issue. Healthy relationships are affectionate.

I hug my teens, I give them high fives. I don't remember the last time that I held their hands or they sat with their head on my shoulder, they were pretty little I think. And I have a really great relationship with my kids.

I think it is more odd that you never do any of those things with your kids. You are the adult and you are the reason it does not happen.

I am not saying it should happen everyday, but the fact it never happens is odd.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I found it odd because like I said my own growing up family was not and is not very physically affectionate.

Odd because I don't see this behavior from teens a lot, but I also don't spend much time with teens, so I asked.

I found it sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is the sweetest thing. We are an extremely affectionate family. My 15 year old grunts and groans at me all the time but today he did really well in a sporting event and the first thing he did was give me a big hug -- before slinking away to be with his friends.

OP, work on this issue. Healthy relationships are affectionate.

I hug my teens, I give them high fives. I don't remember the last time that I held their hands or they sat with their head on my shoulder, they were pretty little I think. And I have a really great relationship with my kids.

I think it is more odd that you never do any of those things with your kids. You are the adult and you are the reason it does not happen.

I am not saying it should happen everyday, but the fact it never happens is odd.

I can see holding their hands or having them rest their head on my shoulder if they were going through something very difficult - like a funeral of a close family member.

I really can't see myself just hanging out holding their hand or having them snuggle up to me like that during normal every day stuff.