ILs seethe at our son's occasional bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Mine would have just shared a look and then MIL would talk about it to everyone else except me. She still talks about something my SIL did with her DD about 15 years ago.

OP, was your ds disturbing the meal? It sounds like it.

I say ignore the whispers. They likely are aware you noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually let your hild go fix himself something he "liked" after an adult prepared a full dinner?
You honestly think that was ok?

Isn't that the going wisdom for picky eaters? Not turning food into a battle and also letting them know you aren't a short order cook?

I am the pp of the above. My kids know that what I cook is what is available for dinner. I also always make things that I know they like. May try out a new side dish that they can try and choose not to take a serving. There are ALWAYS proven favorites on the table. Now that they are young teenagers, they often tell me "your food is the best".
It is downright rude for someone, regardless of age, to get up from a table and declare that they are going to make something they like. Especially when guests are at the table.
I have taught my kids to be polite at our table or anyone else's table. The result is that they eat like normal people, not self-important spoiled brats who have to get up and get themselves a "sandwich and a fruit" when there is a hot home cooked nourishing meal on the table.
Enjoy your leftovers.

High five.
I would add that if the "picky" eating continues then you invite the child to be involved in the meal planning and the cooking. They should also help at the store, unloading groceries and cleaning up after dinner. If they decide its too much trouble, they can always eat what you cook and say thanks mom. Yes this is good manners.


+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're entitled to their opinions about what the are observing. They are right or wrong or just have a different opinion than you. But you should think about why this bothers you so much when they're not confronting you about it. Maybe their judgment and disapproval bother you bc part of you feels the same way. You may even be projecting some things on to them. Raise your children hoe you feel is sincerely best. IF you do that, others' opinions will not bother you.

You don't criticize people who are hosting you. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is it with whispering baby boomer ILs? If I catch mine doing it again, I am barring them from entering the premises.

What did yours whisper about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're entitled to their opinions about what the are observing. They are right or wrong or just have a different opinion than you. But you should think about why this bothers you so much when they're not confronting you about it. Maybe their judgment and disapproval bother you bc part of you feels the same way. You may even be projecting some things on to them. Raise your children hoe you feel is sincerely best. IF you do that, others' opinions will not bother you.

You don't criticize people who are hosting you. Period.

When did they criticize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is it with whispering baby boomer ILs? If I catch mine doing it again, I am barring them from entering the premises.

What did yours whisper about?

^^^ would you rather they get in your face. Good grief, woman, grow a backbone. Not everyone is going to agree with your parenting and they are entitled to their opinions as much as your entitled to yours. By "whispering" they are not attempting to confront you and force their views on you. That doesn't mean they cannot voice them to each other. Insecure and controlling much?

[Anonymous]

They are old and forget what it was really like. They only remember the days they got right and forget their own parenting fails (or reinterpret their parenting fails as "the right way to raise kids." It's human nature to rewrite history to make yourself look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are old and forget what it was really like. They only remember the days they got right and forget their own parenting fails (or reinterpret their parenting fails as "the right way to raise kids." It's human nature to rewrite history to make yourself look good.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're entitled to their opinions about what the are observing. They are right or wrong or just have a different opinion than you. But you should think about why this bothers you so much when they're not confronting you about it. Maybe their judgment and disapproval bother you bc part of you feels the same way. You may even be projecting some things on to them. Raise your children hoe you feel is sincerely best. IF you do that, others' opinions will not bother you.

You don't criticize people who are hosting you. Period.

When did they criticize?

With looks and whispers, they were passive aggressively ariticizing both the kid and the parents.

[Anonymous]

When your child is acting like a spoiled brat people are going to respond. The fact that it was only via looks or private whispers is a nod to decorum.

[Anonymous]

Your child making himself a sandwich is spoiled bad behavior???

[Anonymous]

A child refusing to eat his dinner (I.e., what everyone else is served), getting up from the table, preceding to make a second meal and disrupting everyone else's meal is spoiled brat behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your child is acting like a spoiled brat people are going to respond. The fact that it was only via looks or private whispers is a nod to decorum.

No, it's passive agressive. It's having your cake and eating it, too. It's making your feelings known with the built-in cop out of, "Well, I only meant for Bob to hear!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You actually let your hild go fix himself something he "liked" after an adult prepared a full dinner?
You honestly think that was ok?

Not OP, but I allow my kids to do this and I 100% think it's okay. If my kids don't like dinner, they are free to make a sandwich and eat it with a piece of fruit. I am not doing it for them, but I don't make them eat what I have prepared.

It's a rule at our house that the kids have to try anything new, and they have to be polite when they decline to eat it, but they don't have to eat stuff they don't like. That is freakishly controlling.

Not every person cares for the same foods. People should not be forced to eat things that they don't enjoy. Food should be a pleasure, not a punishment, and people should have control over what they put in their own bodies.

This is too sane and reasonable. The DCUMers will never go for it.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard so many judgmental people. Glad you are not my in-laws.