What do you think of a single, childless 40 years old woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have several good friends who match this description. They are intelligent, adventurous, successful women. And pretty! They are happy on their own and not overly picky....it just didn't come together for them to get married. And I don't have a problem with that, because I know they are awesome and ok being single.

Really? Adventurous, successful, intelligent, beautiful women, not overly picky, and yet it just "didn't come together for them?" Not buying it. They're either not all you say, or they are in fact impossible to please.

[Anonymous]

That it is VERY difficult/daunting to meet quality men after college-especially when you are certain careers (teaching, etc.) And, that women nowadays have more options so there is not the stigma of "old maid." For example, I adopted an infant as a single woman in my mid 40's.

[Anonymous]

Hm. I am single and 40 and childless and divorced. I think I am a great partner who chose the wrong mate and am now kinda stuck out here in a no man's land of being too old and not old enough at the same time.

[Anonymous]

One lady I know is 38 and has been single basically all her life. She's not unattractive; she's just not overly feminine. She has boy cut hair, glasses and dresses in black clothes all the time. She's very intelligent and has a decent career but she's horribly socially awkward. She goes straight home after work and makes dinner and then goes to bed.

She has said that she does not want a partner since she is severely introverted. She seems happy with her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Insanely picky
2. Unwilling to prioritize a relationship. Either more focused on work or traveling so much that it makes her unable to meet someone
3. Wasted many years dating or living with the wrong man.

I have one friend who falls into all 3 of these categories. She's a lovely person and I know she'd like a partner, but the guys she picks are always awful in the end, and she is very career- and travel-focused to it makes it hard to meet someone good in the first place. I think, given the trade-offs, she's happier as she is. She wants a partner but she doesn't want to settle down and she's ambivalent about kids. So I think it's working out fine for her.

I have another friend who doesn't fit into any of these categories. She's just never met the right guy. I do feel sorry for her because she badly wants to be married and have kids and unless something changes soon, it's not going to happen.

In general, what I think of single, childless 40 year old women depends on whether they seem happy. If they are happy with their lives, then I'm happy for them. If they're not happy, then I feel sorry for them, as I would for anyone else who is unhappy with their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have several good friends who match this description. They are intelligent, adventurous, successful women. And pretty! They are happy on their own and not overly picky....it just didn't come together for them to get married. And I don't have a problem with that, because I know they are awesome and ok being single.

Really? Adventurous, successful, intelligent, beautiful women, not overly picky, and yet it just "didn't come together for them?" Not buying it. They're either not all you say, or they are in fact impossible to please.

Ok you can think whatever you like, but I think it possible that some people just are happy doing their own thing and being single. It's not actually a curse. I would rather be alone than lonely in an unhappy marriage. Read this board long enough and you will see that many people are unhappily married. My friends escaped this fate.

[Anonymous]

This could have been me...didn't meet my spouse/start having children until mid-late 30s. I spent all of my 20s in a relationship that was a bad fit and going no where and then dated several men after that relationship who didn't end up wanting kids or marriage (thankfully, I moved on quicker that time). I treated dating like a part-time job and did eventually find my husband who is a great guy and a good fit for me, phew!

I have two friends who fit this description. One is slightly crazy but really beautiful and fits completely into the crazy cat lady mold. The other is also beautiful but not confident in her own skin and has struggled with self esteem issues and is hung up on past loves. Neither is really happy with their lot in life (both really wanted children), but I hope both of them find love and happiness.

[Anonymous]

There are a million different reasons people are single. Silly to try to understand them all.

[Anonymous]

If she's hot, it means she loves getting pumped by younger guys.

Single, Childless, 40-45 year old women with great bodies are awesome. Hope their numbers grow.

[Anonymous]

I feel sad for them because I have many friends who are that age without children. They wanted to get married and have kids and they are sad about that part of their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm. I am single and 40 and childless and divorced. I think I am a great partner who chose the wrong mate and am now kinda stuck out here in a no man's land of being too old and not old enough at the same time.

I know lots of women like you. Fantastic people, attractive, great catches. All of them came out of bad relationships that lasted their prime dating years (two divorced, another who's husband was gay, another whose long time boyfriend didn't believe in marriage or children till he dumped her at age 38 and was married with kids 2 years later). Thing is, I don't know a single male I can set them up with, unless they want to date men in their 50s with teenage or grown children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That it is VERY difficult/daunting to meet quality men after college-especially when you are certain careers (teaching, etc.) And, that women nowadays have more options so there is not the stigma of "old maid." For example, I adopted an infant as a single woman in my mid 40's.

So did I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That it is VERY difficult/daunting to meet quality men after college-especially when you are certain careers (teaching, etc.) And, that women nowadays have more options so there is not the stigma of "old maid." For example, I adopted an infant as a single woman in my mid 40's.

I disagree. I think marrying someone from college dating is a huge risk. You're children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That it is VERY difficult/daunting to meet quality men after college-especially when you are certain careers (teaching, etc.) And, that women nowadays have more options so there is not the stigma of "old maid." For example, I adopted an infant as a single woman in my mid 40's.

I disagree. I think marrying someone from college dating is a huge risk. You're children.

It is. But it's still true it is far easier to date a variety of people in college than it is post college when you are trying to settle into a career.

[Anonymous]

LOSER.

STINKS OF FAIL.